Making Friends Online

[Melaisis]

I was gonna submit this as a feature. But the editor's e-mail doesn't work for me, so I thought I'd widen it up for a community topic instead.

It's sort of a stupid question, but have you actually met someone online who was really, really... nice? It's easy to do such things over social networking sites such as MySpace or (I ain't a fan) Facebook. But what about gaming? Online players have a reputation to be social retards, but occasionally I'll find someone I really get along with. Heck, I have a bloke I know who's from Belgium. He frequently plays WoW, but I can always rely on his loyalty to back me up whenever I come back to the server and launch a crazy WPVP project, no matter the cost of his own reputation. It's the sort of trust which is rare in real life.

Of course friendship can be shown in smaller ways than complete literal support for a fellow with ambitions. Every time I receive a supply drop on Battlefield, or get a heal from a medic in TF2, it fills me with a little more hope for the human race. Of course it's worth noting that both examples of comradeship have reward for the other person involved too (more points in both cases for the other player) built into the game mechanics.

So, ever met someone online who you simply really appreciate the company of?
Should games be built to encourage more altruism?

 

[the_carrot]

Yeah, a couple. It's rare, but there are people I've enjoyed playing with (aside from those who simply don't speak and just play the game). I don't know any of them beyond the odd encounter.

 

[hickwarrior]

I think it's because i'm the mute that i never really go on a quest in a party... Oh wait, i did do so, but usually, i prefer soloing anyway. And it makes MMOs boring fast, what a surprise, huh?

Anyway, i usually see someone i can get along with well once or twice or so and then never again... So i usually never stick to that.

However, there was this one guild in flyff, when it wasn't f-ed up, that had a good deal of players playing, but it was also one with country restriction to the netherlands/north belgium something only. But that was a guild in which there are people who could tolerate each other, no matter from what part they came from.

it's really rare to see such a guild and even join it, without it breaking. I think it did broke, but it was a fine time when i was in it.

 

[Blayze]

I have to say that, during my time spent playing World of Warcraft, my attitude towards groups, instances and raids (Who cares if we wipe? It's only a game, the wipe will probably be hilarious, and why bother arguing? It's only going to make people hate you.) brought me into contact with like-minded people.

The problem with a game built to encourage altruism is that nobody is ever truly altruistic. There's always some benefit that the other person gets, if only a slight increase to their ego ("Doing that was a good thing I did. Well done, self." all too quickly becomes "I did that, so therefore I'm a good person.")

True altruism is impossible to achieve, I feel, as there is always either an ulterior motive ("I did that, therefore I can gain a benefit via this...") or it is done out of a sense of obligation ("I can't loot that, I picked up a new item this run. If I roll for it, people will complain...").

True altruism would be doing good for no reason whatsoever, as then no outside force (Other than the situation that caused them to do that good act) would affect their decision. Sadly, such a situation is impossible. Those who try either end up getting a return (Defeating the purpose) or doing it because they feel they have to ("I can't stop helping these people now! They've come to rely on me!").

And besides, being altruistic in today's dog-eat-dog world? Hah. I for one do *not* want to be bled dry.

 

[broadband]

well playing matrix online i have found a nice comunity, people who like to roleplay, organize events, help, all that, but is impossible to find a mmo without assholes, is a fact

 

[GrowlersAtSea]

I don't think you can encourage or discourage altruism in games, because it's a personality trait more than anything else. You can try though to encourage teamwork, many support type roles in games get shafted by not getting score for doing what they do, while the players out there doing the fighting do get points for that, but that has been changing.

With that said, I have played games and ran into people who really have struck me as, if not being truly altruistic, really putting a team first.

In the recent Battlefield 2142, players who piloted transports in which their team could spawn in were very vulnerable to getting TK's as a result of people jumping out and being struck by part of the aircraft. The end result was that the pilots could allow their team to be dropping from the sky anywhere on the map and racking up kills, but the pilot might have -10, -20, -30 score by the end of the round. But some still did it. In other games I've seen players use their tanks as shields for friendly teammates, players literally run into fire just to draw it so that other players can take out an enemy or players bring entire ships over just to pick a friendly out of the water before drowning. It does happen, things that in no way gain points for the player, and even in some ways can hurt the player doing it by costing them time, health, their vehicle, or sometimes even gets them taken out.

These are examples I've seen, have been on the receiving end, or on the giving end. I've played with people like this, but really, I've never really made friends with them, although I probably should. But, I'm kind of a distant individual, I play team games and I play for the team (Medic, Engineer, the support classes) but I don't like getting too close to people online. I don't lean on anyone in particular regularly and no one leans on me.

I still love to see people helping each other though, and try to do as much as I can to help people myself.

 

[REDPill357]

You get the image of online gamers being jerks from XBox Live, and since most people play that, that's where most of the jerks are, and how you hear about them.

I have actually made friends online. I often play TF2 with a Swede, two Canadians, and even my dad. When we end up on the same team, we try to co-ordinate tactics. TF2 is the game where I see the most team work. Teammates communicate, and figure out who's a spy, and where are sentries, et cetera. This is as close to altruism you can hope for in a game.

Also, the TF2 community is pretty good. You don't get a whole lot of jerks. You do get the occasional person who plays "You Are a Pirate" over the mic, but it's rare.

 

[PettingZOOPONY]

I have never made friends online with Xbox live but I have with online PC games. Its not because the Xboxers are all retards, it just that I have found more online communities for PC games. There are many great communities out there online its just you have to find one that will suit your tastes with like minded players.

 

[AnGeL.SLayer]

Yeah I've come across a few but to me they are single serving friends. I don't want to be name based friends least they let me down and turn out to be just another gaming prick. People just dont get the concept of MULTIPLAYER and TEAMWORK. god forbid the gamers of the world ever had to go out into a real battle field. wed all be dead and whatever we where fighting for would be doomed. No one takes the concept of 'virtual reality' like they should. if you acted like you would in real life in that situation youd find yourself to be more noble and trustworthy....hopefully. *crosses fingers* i shall nto give up all hope on mankind just yet. Don't be that dick that wont boost someone up and always has to have it his way. your not a team player and should be skinned alive. (i would enjoy watching that) its people like you that give gamers a bad name. you dont play for the same reasons the rest of us do. Games are just something to be a virtual bully and to fill your time. get a new hobby. we dont want you in ours. dick.


sorry i hate people like that. they are just everywhere *sobs uncontrolably* they wreck everything. fun wreckers. *sniffels*

 

[KurtNiisan]

There's one person who I've made friends with out of my entire Xbox Live Friends List, and he was the first person I played online when I got my first Subscription card and was playing Gears of War without a mic. And he's American.

Talk about coming out of left-field

 

[IpcressFiles]

My experience on Xbox Live has been mostly crap: I've found my ego can no longer take being ground into the dust on Halo by mal-adjusted 13 year olds with Tourettes. Not to get all wishy-washy, but I have to say I was kind of shocked by the levels of racist abuse on games like Gears of War as well. Kids today . . . .

One good experience I had was on WoW. At a time when I should have being doing academic work, i basically played it non-stop for three months. I made some good friends on there (including one who had to leave instances every half-hour, as his crying baby son was interupting his concentration), but I made the age old mistake of telling my partner about these activities. For reasons outside of her control she was very ill one night, and so I decided the best thing would be to distract her from her current ailments. Regrettably i was worse for wear, and started talking very eloquently about all the guild goings-on; the gossip, the raids, and the names of the online friends. Imagine my shock the next morning, when after having past her delirious state, she remembered everything I had told her. Now a night never goes by when I'm on the computer, and she asks, 'is that Thunderfist'?

 

[odisious15]

I began my MMO addiction with Guild Wars and after a while of playing fully solo I met someone by chance in a major trade area and went from chit chatting to eventually joining a guild he ran and with that I met 7 others that I got along great with. We eventually rented a vent server and began to pvp and mess around nightly. We all decided to move to WoW nearly a year later and from there we all stuck together from lvl 1 to 70 after the expansion and in that time I made some good "in-game" friends as well as a few I'd meet up with every now and then out in the real world. And even now that I've quit WoW I still keep up with a lot of those I've met over the years (Right now most of us are chatting back and forth like crack addicts about when WAR will be out and the race and class we want to roll). I've even taken the time to learn or have picked up on other languages of those I've raided with night after night. And at least from my experience of gamers I've met through the years I'd have to say the socially retarded are usually 12 year olds who have use of "Mommy's credit card", other than that most that I had partied or guilded with actually were what made the games fun and worth the time and money I poured into the games. Age also varies greatly within our close knit group, I'm 17 and one of the youngest with most being 19 - 24 and some even in their mid 30's early 40's but it's never been an issue somehow we're all pretty much like minded, guess I just had some good luck.
Note also I have never once played any online console game so I've never experienced the Halo or any other game's smack talking kids and adults.... even though we have a lot of joking around on vent when we're playing CoD2 and what not.

 

[yourself]

I met a couple folks online when I played Final Fantasy XI that were pretty cool. The linkshell I was a part of was like a small family. Everyone looked out for one another, helped out new memembers, partyed together, and helped one another with quests. It was great, but then FFXI had this program by which people could switch servers, and most of my linkshell, including the linkshell leader, left to another sever. I was left alone and eventually quit.

 

[Thegreatoz]

I actually met some people on WoW that im going to see while in NY this summer. Lol, after a year and a half of talking to someone you get to know em and they become a friend...and in my obsessive case, do to the ammount of time i spent with them, they kinda became a little family.

OOOOO LOOK, he has a van...AND CANDY!!!!

 

[REDPill357]

My Swedish friend and I are pretty close. We met at FacePunch, another gaming forum. We often go into games and mess around. We name ourselves after each other, we talk to each other over the mic, we do silly things. We also practice tactics in BF2. He's got the tactics, I got the guts.