Mall Fight: Corruption - ACT 1 - PART 2 - The First Descent (CLOSED)

[Saltarius]

"You stabbed my tits. What the fuck. I'd stab yours, but there seems to be nothing but this fucking washboard on your chest!"

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Oooooooh!" A microphone falls down from the ceiling, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a primo bonafide catfight on our hands!" I scream into the mic.

 

[MinimanZombie]

These assholes better deliver.

The PA comes to life suddenly.
"Report to electronics department to witness the annual Mall Cat fight! Get your spot now, or be left wondering what you missed."

 

[Saltarius]

I make a threatening gesture at Sigma.

"You and me, bitchtits. Correction, *****-notits."

I rush to electronics.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

I run to food court and come back with a pile of food. I start builidng a stand out of the food. "5 Mall Credits for a ticket!"

 

[Paddy the Second]

I punch Waffles in the throat and take my seat, amusing myself while I wait with the wide variety of games available for the n-gage such as, uh, well, how about, holy shit there's an Elder Scrolls game oh my god. Wait you have to take the battery out to put the game in? What the hell.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

"Stupid throat-puncher...Razzer frazzer..." I take my seat in front of the food stand again.

 

[ShindoL Shill]

I look up at the nearest speaker.
"It's that time already? Wow."
I decide to stop using the pineapple and start using one of the knives Knife helpfully gave me to carve the vegetables into spikes.

 

[Sigma Castell]

I look down at my 180-degree chest.
"WELL AT LEAST I DIDN'T RESORT TO HELIUM BALLOONS U HUSSY" I yell after Salt, and run over to electronics.

 

[Saltarius]

"THOSE AREN'T BALLOONS, YOU LITERALLY STABBED MY TIT, YOU CUNTMUFFLER!"

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Fucking incredible." I convert the ring into a tilting platform ala Flash Gordon.

 

[Sigma Castell]

">Implying"
I stab Salt in the other boob.

 

[Saltarius]

"I'd rather have bloody boobs than none at all!"

I tackle Sigma to the ground.

 

[Knife-28]

"Huh."

I cover the handles of some of my knives with superglue, then throw them at the tilting platform arena to make them stick there.

 

[Sigma Castell]

"oioioioi wots all this then"
I kick Salt in the face and bite her ear off.

 

[Saltarius]

I punch Sig in the crotch and headbutt her in the nose.

 

[Sigma Castell]

"Ow. Batch"
I poke Salts eyes out.

 

[Saltarius]

I bite off some of Sig's fingers.

"FUCK OFFFFFFFF!"

 

[Paddy the Second]

I accompany on French Horn.

 

[Sigma Castell]

"SDKFJHDLKF WHAT THE FUCK MY FINGERS I NEED THOSE"
I execute the seven-twist-wiggle and shatter all of my vertebrae, and promptly die horribly.