Man Chokes His Girlfriend With A Wii Controller

[Asehujiko]

Look for an Ubisoft shovelware game coming soon to capitalize on this new kind of 'play': Wii Garrote!

Ubisoft being Ubisoft, i expect something along the lines of Tom Clancy's Wii Garrote: Far Cry 3, which will be an iPhone exclusive racing game.

 

[Master_of_Oldskool]

Is she gonna sue Nintendo? That would not surprise me at all.

Probably not, but you know what will likely happen? The fuggin' media is going to spin this to make it look like he was inspired by playing an old copy of Killer 7 or some shit.

 

[MarsProbe]

Eventually the two ended up in the living room, where things escalated when Alvarez pinned Alvarado to the ground, got on top of her, pressed his knees into her chest and grabbed what police are describing as a "Wii video game controller" and started to choke her with the cord.

I'm so glad we have such highly trained police officers on hand with these kind of skills. Seriously, I'd have had no idea what that thing was otherwise.

I should be able to sleep tonight now, though....

 

[Hippobatman]

Wii-owners really DO have a lot of supressed anger. I knew it!

Anyway, if he really wanted to kill her because she woke him up, I wouldn't blame hi.. Uhm, I mean, he's a psycho!

 

[Mariena]

Jesus, why the hell would you start strangling someone over that?! And not some stranger, but his girlfriend?

What the crap. "Raar, she got angry at me because I ate all her cookies. I better strangle her, that'll cheer me up."

 

[InsanityWave]

and all along nintendo promoted happy casual gaming XD

 

[gigastrike]

What kind of cookies were they? Samoas? Cause I'd kill for those too.

 

[squid5580]

Great now Fox and all the other tools out there got another thing to use in thier "games cause violence" crusade. And the Girl Guides will go unscathed. So wrong, so very very wrong.

 

[nova18]

Great, more ammo for the video game nay-sayers. "See? The Wii controllers can be used as deadly weapons! Ban them all!"

Oddly I wouldn't be suprised if some media outlet accuses Nintendo of creating a weapon. News headline reads "NINTENDO PROMOTES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE".

 

[Valiance]

Haha, oh wow.

That's priceless.

One of the best laughs I've had in a long time, to be honest, and yeah...Can't believe that stuff.

Girl scout cookies = rage?
Being woken up = rage?

I think these people must have had some serious anger problems beforehand, especially the guy.

 

[Alkarin]

id choke the dumb ***** out too if she woke me up in the middle of the night because i ate god damn girl scout cookies..i mean cmon...really? is she really that pissed about the stupid cookies? what a *****.


and why sue nitendo? thats like sueing rope makers for someone who lynched someone with a rope. or sue tool making companies for people murdering people with shovels hammers etc. if they sued and got away with it i would sue walmart for me being able to kill someone with a mop

 

[sirsolo]

Great, now Wii's are going to get banned in Australia for being too violent.

 

[Alkarin]

well i doubt he just woke up and started choking her im sure she yelled at him first and they got in an argument etc etc

 

[DoW Lowen]

Too bad the ***** got away... I mean to say, this was is a terrible story indeed... cause the ***** got away.

 

[bkd69]

See what casual games make you do? Now if the Wii had hardcore murder simulators/trainers, he could've worked out his anger, instead of breezily pushing a star around in Orbient.

To those who say this isn't funny, it's not. But on the other hand, it kind of is. A famous man(*) once said "tragedy is when I cut my finger, comedy is when you fall into a sewer and die."

Notice how everybody assumes the console is his, too. This is, after all a Wii we're talking about here. There's a very high probability it's hers. He probably plays Madden on a 360.


*: Mel Brooks

 

[NeoAC]

Admittedly when I first saw the headline, All I could think is "Could you really shove a Wiimote down someone's throat that far to make it choke? I didn't think it would fit." Then I read the story and I laughed. I'm sorry, but that is pure overreaction at its finest. "***** woke me up over some damn cookies! She gotta die!" I'm sorry, but this is proof some people need to be permanently sealed off from society.

That being said, if this guy ever escaped from jail, I'm hiding my stash of Chocolate Mints.