Manning the f up and asking the girl out

[Zantos]

So I'm 21 and have had several relationships with various degrees of shit. Looking back the common factor was that I wasn't really active in the starting up of the relationship, instead I sat back and stuff just sort of happened. Having decided that this is a really bad habit, I've decided the best thing to do would be to ask girls I like out rather than picking the most appealing that approaches me, and having at least 1 date to get to know them a little before committing to anything.

So yeah, if anyone has any helpful hints or experiences on asking girls out and having a first date then that'd be really helpful. Please?

 

[Uncleblaze]

well after building some rap-pour with this girl and getting to simply know her. when you decide to make your move do this.

get her alone away from her friends or anyone else.
compliment her
ask her if she has any plans on a certain day and if she would like to do something with you.
make sure its a simple invitation to spend time together. and if your turned down dont be offended or start burning bridges. Just say alright and maybe another time.

don't forget to smile and make her feel comfortable.

anyways if you do that then you should be just fine if she's interested. just make sure you do your research before you go asking her out... asking a girl out who is already in a relationship could be really awkward... asking a question like "whats your boyfriend think of that" is a subtle way of saying " hey are you seeing anyone?

anyways good luck and have fun. just because she turned you down once doesn't mean all is lost. you can always ask her again another time. =)

 

[Zantos]

Thanks. I'm halfway through this (ascertained she has no boyfriend, arranged to meet up when she's next around). I will definitely owe you a drink if this happens

 

[Rhymenoceros]

I hope you get the girl
Even though I joined this thread for tips as well
I had the same problem of not knowing how to ask a girl out, I finally mustered up the courage and someone else beat me to it by an hour or two. Oh well, plenty more fish in the sea, right?

 

[Neo10101]

Definitely be by yourselves, and have a conversation already going. Try and find a common ground, "You like -insert band name here-, so do I, would you wanna try and see them some time?" Or, "You like -insert movie genre here-, so do I, you know -insert movie here- that just came out, would you wanna go see it? Then just play it out like a normal date, just remember, the first date is always the hardest, just act cool and calm and don't do anything stupid and you'll make a good first impression.

 

[Uncleblaze]

movies are not a good way to go. go to the beach or take her some where nice and semi private where you know you wont run into 100's of people you know. movies are better as a second date not so much a first. and also its easier to make out in a movie theater =D.

 

[artanis_neravar]

Thanks. I'm halfway through this (ascertained she has no boyfriend, arranged to meet up when she's next around). I will definitely owe you a drink if this happens

Confidence, that is the most important part. Don't get me wrong being nervous can be endearing for some girls but you can still be confidently nervous. Smile take slow deep breaths don't rehears anything before hand let the conversation flow...wow I just described my strategy for presenting in front of 100 or so people...well anyway I guess it still works but still if you do get a date take her someplace that she might not know about, like a place you found on the beach or something of the like,

 

[Zantos]

Thanks. I'm halfway through this (ascertained she has no boyfriend, arranged to meet up when she's next around). I will definitely owe you a drink if this happens

Confidence, that is the most important part. Don't get me wrong being nervous can be endearing for some girls but you can still be confidently nervous. Smile take slow deep breaths don't rehears anything before hand let the conversation flow...wow I just described my strategy for presenting in front of 100 or so people...well anyway I guess it still works but still if you do get a date take her someplace that she might not know about, like a place you found on the beach or something of the like,

Haha, weird thing about the conversation we had, I said I'd tried the whole nervous englishman Firth/Grant trick before and she went on about how it was stupid and wanted a man who was just confident about himself. Made sure to keep my ego in check but confidence up for the rest of the day.

Definitely be by yourselves, and have a conversation already going. Try and find a common ground, "You like -insert band name here-, so do I, would you wanna try and see them some time?" Or, "You like -insert movie genre here-, so do I, you know -insert movie here- that just came out, would you wanna go see it? Then just play it out like a normal date, just remember, the first date is always the hardest, just act cool and calm and don't do anything stupid and you'll make a good first impression.

Totally followed this, we massively geeked out over Doctor Who, it was awesome!

I hope you get the girl
Even though I joined this thread for tips as well
I had the same problem of not knowing how to ask a girl out, I finally mustered up the courage and someone else beat me to it by an hour or two. Oh well, plenty more fish in the sea, right?

Plenty more. Good luck dude!

movies are not a good way to go. go to the beach or take her some where nice and semi private where you know you wont run into 100's of people you know. movies are better as a second date not so much a first. and also its easier to make out in a movie theater =D.

Has to be the park unfortunately, but I'm thinking picnic. Picnics in the park are awesome. She did not seem impressed when we met for drinks as to my inability to go 30 yards without bumping into a person I know.

Thanks for all your help guys. She's moved home for a few months now, but I'm definitely making sure to note everything down to be awesome when she comes back up.

 

[artanis_neravar]

Thanks. I'm halfway through this (ascertained she has no boyfriend, arranged to meet up when she's next around). I will definitely owe you a drink if this happens

Confidence, that is the most important part. Don't get me wrong being nervous can be endearing for some girls but you can still be confidently nervous. Smile take slow deep breaths don't rehears anything before hand let the conversation flow...wow I just described my strategy for presenting in front of 100 or so people...well anyway I guess it still works but still if you do get a date take her someplace that she might not know about, like a place you found on the beach or something of the like,

Haha, weird thing about the conversation we had, I said I'd tried the whole nervous englishman Firth/Grant trick before and she went on about how it was stupid and wanted a man who was just confident about himself. Made sure to keep my ego in check but confidence up for the rest of the day.

You probably handled it better then I would have. I would have made some of hand comment like "ah, well there goes half of my repertoire" in an attempt to make her laugh

 

[Gladiator32]

Im quoting this from an IGN podcast I listened to a while back and someone wrote in describing a good way to ask someone out and it sounds a bit weird at first but hey, it might work.

Guy: Hey do you eat?
Girl: umm yeah?
Guy: Great, will you come eat with me? im buying
Girl: sure ill have dinner(whatever) with you.

It takes the pressure of a "date" and you can have a good laugh about it later. I'm still waiting for a good chance to use this.