Marriage Proposals in Public - Dick Move or Romantic?

[omega 616]

In my opinion, it's a dick move.
I do know of people who were proposed to in public, said yes and then later said no because they felt they couldn't have said no at the time.

I think it's not a spectator sport.

Then again I might be a minority because I think `proposing` is in generally pretty unromantic.
"Decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with me in the next 10 seconds!!"

Kind of curious how you want it to be done then, at some point the question "do you want to marry me" must be uttered, even if you have been casually discussing it for months.

I think it is a dick move, you're putting so much pressure on the person to say yes and risking looking like a fool to the whole audience.

While I am not the romantic type, wouldn't being alone be more romantic than in a crowd ... you know make it feel like you two are the only two people in the whole wold.

 

[Kimarous]

Speaking in more defined terms, I feel there is a difference between a simple "public proposal" and outright "tell me you say 'yes' in front of this audience."

"Public proposal" example: At a game, arrange for the big screen to display "Will You Marry Me?" during halftime, during which you will propose in the audience. No attention is drawn to the specific couple and they can accept or say no without scrutiny.

"Tell me you say 'yes' in front of this audience" example: Doing it in the middle of the field or, worse yet, involving yourself in a public broadcast.

Then again, I'm the type who subscribes to the belief that a proposal is an intimate moment that is ill-suited for a public setting. Okay, a fancy restaurant after a pleasant evening, sure... but a sports event? Really? What the hell kind of romantic setting is that? "Hey, honey. Look at those sweaty armoured men continually ramming into each other. Let's tie the knot!" *headdesk*

Bottom line, I feel that whatever you do, putting your would-be fiance on the spot in front of hundreds (if not thousands) is a dick move. Simply proposing in a public venue, however, is not.

 

[AngloDoom]

I just don't get it. Outside of pressuring your partner or living up to media romances, I can't see any benefit of proposal in public.

I mean, it's a private matter between two people in love: that already sounds like you don't want to parade it around in public. Add to that the fact that you may be rejected, I just don't get it. Are you trying to get public approval? Are you proving that you don't mind confessing your love in public? Who's at the point where they are considering marrying a person but is still embarrassed to admit they love them?

And, while we're here, why do I have to propose because I'm male? And who proposes in a homosexual relationship? And is it hypocritical for atheists to use a church? And why do you never see baby seagulls?

 

[maninahat]

Dick move, definitely.

It would be all well and good if she is definitely going to say yes, but we can't know that, can we? Your elaborate public musical extravaganza and firework display could end up putting an unfair amount of pressure on her to say yes, even though she wants to say no. It makes it all the harder for both of you if she does bring herself to say no, and afterwards, she has to deal with all the onlookers going "what a horrible person!!" because she had the audacity to be honest.

It really shouldn't be done under the scrutiny of others or under pressure, yet suitors feel they should express their love in as grandiose and "unique" a way as possible. My heart goes out to the brave women who can actually go through with saying no.

 

[Nestor Laszyn]

not only does proposing in public puts the significant other on the spot it also makes them look bad if they say no

 

[artanis_neravar]

Yeah, but you can see someone for a while without thinking about marriage and without being ready for it.
Hm, maybe I'm just a romance-killer, but marriage is totally off the table for me and boyfriend until we have been successfully living together (in our own place) for at least two years.

Not because I'm some sort of heartless person, but because I know people who rushed into marriage and I am damn sure not going to make that mistake just because it's `romantic`.
Plus I still can't decide what to do with my second name but that's another matter.

No that makes perfect sense, people always site the divorce rate as a failure of the instition of marriage, rather than people rushing into something when they aren't even sure they can stand living together in the first place.

Frankly, I would never date a girl that:

1.) Doesn't want to get married some day.
2.) Doesn't want to have kids.

Agreed

 

[Sonic Doctor]

Mr.Snips

Yeah, but you can see someone for a while without thinking about marriage and without being ready for it.
Hm, maybe I'm just a romance-killer, but marriage is totally off the table for me and boyfriend until we have been successfully living together (in our own place) for at least two years.

Not because I'm some sort of heartless person, but because I know people who rushed into marriage and I am damn sure not going to make that mistake just because it's `romantic`.
Plus I still can't decide what to do with my second name but that's another matter.

Oh, sorry. It was one of those moments that my mind took something as being common sense, but in actuality, it apparently isn't for other people(not meaning you).

When I mention about a good length of time before proposing to a girl, and her most likely having thought about it at least once(seriously can't believe a person could be with a person for at least two years and not at least once thinking about the possibility of getting married), I had added in being at least relatively stable and living together before marriage as common sense, so I didn't mention it in my discussion on proposing.

But anyway, the only reason I quoted you the first time is that the way it sounded was that you took the act of proposing as a moment where the girl has to answer immediately with in the first ten seconds of getting asked. I just thought that weird, because I have always took the act of proposing as something more serious than an answer on a whim/fast decision.

If I ever end up proposing to a girl, I wouldn't expect her to answer within the first ten seconds, like you said. I would give her at least four days and at the most a week and a half. Because seriously, scenario: If I've been in a loving and stable relationship with a girl for two years, I would find it strange that it would take more than a week or so to decide about marriage after a proposal.

 

[Vegosiux]

Dick move. Both because it's a way of pressuring the other person into something and because, frankly (my dear), I don't give a damn about other people's romantic aspirations and would appreciate it if they don't shove it in my face just because I happen to be at the wrong place at the right time or something.

 

[shogunblade]

snip

Have you actually proposed or been proposed to? It's generally not something you do if you don't already know the answer. You don't ask the question expecting "No" to actually be a answer the person could give. That means that it is far more a formality then a actual question, you're just making it official.

It's a very sad story to bring up, but yes, I have proposed. Admittedly, I had my hand forced (She feigned pregnancy just to get married, yes, and I've come to terms with that), and I did propose to her on the 4th of July (It was my belief that she was well aware I was going to propose to her on this day as well) and the relationship lasted a few more months (I gave her an engagement ring, rather, dating last a few more months), but I have dealt with it.

As far as any other girls go, I might have one possible girlfriend (Date #2 is happening soon), and even then, it's just a thought I've had (I'm not far enough along to know if she's a future prospect, but if it came down to that, what would other people say about proposing in public?)

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Dick move. It puts the person being proposed to on the spot and forces them to say yes and disrupts everyone else. People will all gather and stare and the people who don't care will be inconvenienced by the people clotting whatever thing you're they're in.
Also: its not pleasant for all the forever alone people watching.