Mars Rover Draws Giant Penis On Mars

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Andy Chalk

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Nov 12, 2002
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Mars Rover Draws Giant Penis On Mars


The Mars Rover "Spirit" may be gone, but it left us something special to remember it by: a drawing of a giant penis on the surface of the red planet.

It is perhaps the most impressive bit of peen graffiti ever created, and yet it wasn't created by human hands. It's not even here on Earth, in fact, but on Mars, thanks to the efforts of the Mars Rover "Spirit," which did a little spinning and burning in appropriate places to leave its mark on the surface of the planet - and by "leave its mark," I mean "drew a picture of a giant wang." It's legit, too; the image appeared on the Mars Exploration Rovers page [http://www-robotics.jpl.nasa.gov/projects/MER.cfm?Project=1] of NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory website.

And so it sat, harmlessly, until a sharp-eyed reader spied the thing and uploaded it to Reddit with the caption, "Mars Rover = $800m, Team to operate = $1bn. Drawing a penis on the surface of another planet = priceless." The sudden surge of viewers that followed was enough to crash the JPL site for awhile, but NASA was cool about it and even demonstrated a sense of humor by uploading a higher resolution version of the image after the site was back online.

Alas, the giant space schlong was not the result of a rogue AI or a NASA engineer with too much time on his hands. "The truth is much more prosaic. The phallic shape naturally resulted when the six-wheeled Spirit, which was declared dead in 2010, made a turn," Space.com [http://www.space.com/20813-mars-penis-spirit-rover-tracks.html] explained. "NASA's currently active Mars rovers - Spirit's twin Opportunity and the much larger Curiosity - have also made similar tracks on the Red Planet."

That's a little disappointing, but on the bright side it means there are actually multiple giant wangs scrawled across the surface of Mars, surely a fitting tribute to humanity's ingenuity. It opens the door to some potentially great new slogans, too. "NASA: We take pics, we leave dicks."

Yeah, I'd be cool with my tax dollars funding that.

Source: The Space Reporter [http://thespacereporter.com/2013/04/mars-rovers-penis-graffiti-goes-viral/]


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tmande2nd

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Oct 20, 2010
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That is actually rather funny.

I mean what is one thing we left on Mars?
A giant penis drawing.

NASA: We dont dick around.
 

Bazaalmon

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Apr 19, 2009
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That is one of the most hilarious pieces of science ever.
And it wasn't drawn on purpose by some engineer with too much time on his hands!
 

CriticalMiss

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Jan 18, 2013
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This isn't funny at all. What if the Martians see this and start an interplanetary war? Even 'Indian Love Call' won't save us :(
 

Misterian

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Oct 3, 2009
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If there was, or is, sentient life on Mars, I wonder how said sentients would react to seeing this?
 

personion

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Dec 6, 2010
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There's a joke in this.

Something like "Girls go to Mars to get candy bars, guys go to Venus..."
 

SquidVicious

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What a week for crazy headlines it has been. First we have a Korean teacher beating students and then masturbating in the hallway, then a man from Ohio getting arrested for having sex with his neighbor's inflatable raft, and now this.
 

teh_Canape

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May 18, 2010
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CriticalMiss said:
This isn't funny at all. What if the Martians see this and start an interplanetary war? Even 'Indian Love Call' won't save us :(
what if they instead send a probe to Earth or Moon to draw a big ol' pair of titties
with "your move now" written next to it
that'd be grand
 

gunny1993

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Jun 26, 2012
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Reminds me of when they were landing and they almost prematurely ejected the parachute.

Then they drilled the rock and found the evidence of liquid

Then it has to stop for a week so it didn't wear itself out

.... i've run out of terrible innuendo
 

Andy Shandy

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Jun 7, 2010
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And now in retaliation China/Russia/somebody draws a vagina on Venus. Or just turns it some sort of vagina-planet

Also...
Is it aiming at Uranus?
 

Ldude893

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Apr 2, 2010
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TizzytheTormentor said:
What a dick move...

Yeah, I predict many a dick pun to be made about this historic event.
And, unfortunately, not enough sunglasses and "YEEEAAAAH" sound effects to go around.
 

Deathfish15

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Nov 7, 2006
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With the rover being dead....

...has NASA tried sending some Viagra to restart it again?



Yes, I went there.
 

1337mokro

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Dec 24, 2008
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In a million years our descendants, having long left earth will return and they will find. Dicks. Dicks drawn all over the planet.

Because that is the legacy of our era. A sense of humour :D
 

Bara_no_Hime

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Sep 15, 2010
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So, all the Mars Rovers have been leaving giant dicks on Mars for the past four years?

"I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon-- dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick."

"How many dicks is that?"

"A lot."

-- Quentin Tarantino