Maths and Science Jokes!

[Syntax Error]

am writing to inform you of a very dangerous substance being used around your school: Dihydrogen Monoxide. This chemical has been involved in every poisoning throughout history, and is a common component of not only cleaning fluids but also various food additives and condiments. Please sign the below petition to get Dihydrogen Monoxide banned in our schools, at it has proven to kill people in sufficient doses, and proves dangerous to life forms of all types.

That right there is gold.

And the title should mention to stop posting those H2SO4 jokes, it's getting a bit old... No jokes at the moment.

 

[Jolly Madness]

Two physicists were in a quarrel, one tried to attack the other, but was restrained by his friends "LET ME ATOM!" he shouted.

 

[TJ rock 101]

all you thinky people scare me

 

[buggy65]

You see, 10=2 in binary.

ahhhh.....



i still dont get it......

nah i kidd

edit: now i know more! and knowing is half the battle!

the other half is violence

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Hoax email sent to a local High School with petition attached.

Hello students.

I am writing to inform you of a very dangerous substance being used around your school: Dihydrogen Monoxide. This chemical has been involved in every poisoning throughout history, and is a common component of not only cleaning fluids but also various food additives and condiments. Please sign the below petition to get Dihydrogen Monoxide banned in our schools, at it has proven to kill people in sufficient doses, and proves dangerous to life forms of all types.

Sincerely,
[name erased]

That is genius right there.

 

[Labyrinth]

That right there is gold.

That is genius right there.

Thankyou, thankyou. *Bows.*

The saddest thing is that within a week, it had over a hundred and fifty signatures. I felt somewhat guilty about that. I'm not sure they realised their mistake.

 

[crepesack]

Not really a joke as per say, but I still find it funny.

i think it went wrong when he used C for current instead of I then i might be looking at the wrong equation but lol epic fail.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Not really a joke as per say, but I still find it funny.

i think it went wrong when he used C for current instead of I then i might be looking at the wrong equation but lol epic fail.

I get lost at about step 7. I can go okay enough until you get to square roots and my brain goes "No, fuck YOU!"

 

[51gunner]

The engineering faculty here has shirts that say:

lim BEng = BA
gpa -> 0

(I'm the proud owner of one.)

I don't get it :'(

Once your GPA hits zero, your bachelor of engineering becomes a bachelor of arts.

 

[Fruhstuck]

The engineering faculty here has shirts that say:

lim BEng = BA
gpa -> 0

(I'm the proud owner of one.)

I don't get it :'(

Once your GPA hits zero, your bachelor of engineering becomes a bachelor of arts.

Iiiiiii still don't understand :$

 

[Anarchemitis]

There may be a factor due to your lack of spelling and blatant use of smileys to convey your mood as opposed to adjectives.

 

[ohellynot]

Is it just me, or do all these physicist, engineer, and mathmatician jokes all sound exactly the same?

That's because they all believe in constants.

And you sir, are a genius.

Please, you give me too little credit.

And the last one was stolen from futurama, after all that intelligence and wit.
(zapp branagan in the martion episode)
check and mate

 

[Little Duck]

Why are many mathematicians arrested every year?

Illegal Loging.

 

[Sebass]

The engineering faculty here has shirts that say:

lim BEng = BA
gpa -> 0

(I'm the proud owner of one.)

I don't get it :'(

Once your GPA hits zero, your bachelor of engineering becomes a bachelor of arts.

Haha, kinda harsh but funny. The Noble-elements convo was just AWESOME by the way (even though I'm a couple months late )

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Is it just me, or do all these physicist, engineer, and mathmatician jokes all sound exactly the same?

That's because they all believe in constants.

And you sir, are a genius.

Please, you give me too little credit.

And the last one was stolen from futurama, after all that intelligence and wit.
(zapp branagan in the martion episode)
check and mate

Maybe if you weren't so late with that >.>

 

[XJ-0461]

Now there was no need to necro this thread, was there? It's nearly a year old, I think the other guy is entitled to make his own thread.

 

[ohellynot]

Is it just me, or do all these physicist, engineer, and mathmatician jokes all sound exactly the same?

That's because they all believe in constants.

And you sir, are a genius.

Please, you give me too little credit.

And the last one was stolen from futurama, after all that intelligence and wit.
(zapp branagan in the martion episode)
check and mate

Maybe if you weren't so late with that >.>

sorry, I can´t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Is it just me, or do all these physicist, engineer, and mathmatician jokes all sound exactly the same?

That's because they all believe in constants.

And you sir, are a genius.

Please, you give me too little credit.

And the last one was stolen from futurama, after all that intelligence and wit.
(zapp branagan in the martion episode)
check and mate

Maybe if you weren't so late with that >.>

sorry, I can´t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am

...can't hear you over how late you are...

 

[ohellynot]

Is it just me, or do all these physicist, engineer, and mathmatician jokes all sound exactly the same?

That's because they all believe in constants.

And you sir, are a genius.

Please, you give me too little credit.

And the last one was stolen from futurama, after all that intelligence and wit.
(zapp branagan in the martion episode)
check and mate

Maybe if you weren't so late with that >.>

sorry, I can´t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am

...can't hear you over how late you are...

I've been on holiday and not had consistent internet accses so nyaa

 

[badgersprite]

Chemistry's sexy. Let's experiment. =3

I'm also partial to this one. Try it on your next exam

Find x

..... /|
5. /..|
.. /....| 4
./ .....|
/___|
. x <--- Here it is