meanist person EVER!

[The Lyre]

I volunteer myself, thus wining the contest, do I get a prize?

I vote for myself only because I know myself, and I know how mean i can truly be.

The meanest person I know? I'd say me, but then I'd come off as a self-centered, jaded, egocentric, melodramatic wanker.

*Feels lonely*

I would steal the trophy, back hand you with a knuckleduster then ride away on my bike constructed of tortured souls and aborted foetuses. I win, clearly.

Whilst incredibly mean, your plan is flawed - a bike constructred of tortured souls and aborted foetuses would be immaterial in places and squishy in others. Such a bike could not be ridden. Your conclusion is fallacious.

Also, I released a lethal form of Anthrax into your home. And then I molested your pets, with one of those giant foam hands.

I may have also eaten your relatives' faces, with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Also, you suck.

I'll be having that trophy back, thank you.

I don't actually want it, I'm just overly competitive, which in turn increases my level of mean...ness.

Gah, couldn't the OP have just used the term bastard?

 

[PurpleRain]

The guy that shot JFK was pretty mean. That was a mean thing to do.

 

[Larenxis]

Vlad The Impaler?

 

[PurpleRain]

Vlad The Impaler?

He did nail a guys hat to his head. I'd say he's a bit of a meany pants.

Henry the VIII. Chopping of your wives head cause she didn't like the curtains? Ok, maybe that's not the true story and something I just made up, but he was still a sicko.

 

[Graustein]

<img src=http://www.bbc.co.uk/norfolk/content/images/2005/03/15/davros_dalek_resurrection_terry_malloy_400_400x300.jpg>
FEAR HIM FOR HE IS DAVROS

Win.
Seriously, blowing up the multiverse?