Aaron Sylvester said:
In most cases a woman is -technically- capable of standing her ground against a man. It's why I used my graphic exaggeration earlier - it's not that they're physically incapable of fighting back, it's because of who it is that they don't want to. That's the big difference between assault and abuse. Abuse requires trust. Hit a dog in the street and it might just take your hand off, but no matter how badly you treat your own dog, it will never fight back because dogs are that loyal.
You can't enter a long-term, live-in relationship without sharing finances and assets. That's the reality of it. The house will be paid for by both parties. Everything in it will be paid for by both parties. You'll pay for the car, she'll pay for the joint insurance. You pay the gas bill, she the electric. You have to co-operate to live happily, and so when the abuse starts, especially if the relationship has been going for a while, it's practically impossible to conceive of a way out, because this shared life is what you've gotten used to.
On the topic of drinking - violence is rare in drinkers. Okay, that's a weird statement to make. People fight when drunk all the time, the lowered inhibitions champion that pretty well. They're also relatively easy to stop, and might start crying which is awkward and amusing in equal parts. My father becomes a different person entirely after a specific amount of drink, which has been the source of...some trouble. After one particular episode, he's off the drink completely and is much better for it, and that's another example of why a spouse might not leave after some abuse.
There is one girl I'm perfectly okay with violence towards, but doing it in public would be unwise. She's small, slim and blonde, and I'm neither small nor blonde, so in public what they would see is a mean bastard beating up a little (hot) blonde girl.
In reality, she's a black belt, I'm two beneath her. We both trained in tae kwon do but she's done so for longer and she's small and damned fast and seriously needs to stop hitting me in public it's unfair. And I can't run away, either, I'm asthmatic and she's fit. She'd just run me down. And then where would we be?
Since we appear to be nearing neutral ground, I'll end this post with this: You say all of this now, but one day you might be the victim of abuse and chances are you won't even notice. Everything you set in stone - for example, a smoker isn't actually any different unless they seriously overdo it - has a chance of changing as you get older and discover new things. Hell, 'I can stop her at any time' is another way you can end up psychologically pinned. The constant affirmations that any man can just fight back and walk away is just such an idiotic thing to say. My friend kicked me in the crotch last week. It was totally unacceptable and she insists it was an accident but I still had to go home. That was some serious fuckin nausea she inflicted. I could take her in a fight easily, but that's not a question that even comes up when she's inflicting random and needless violence on me because she's a woman. Yeah, I can take her wrists, and she still has kneecaps and feet. And teeth. There is no non-violent hold that can prevent you being further attacked. If you have to use physical contact to prevent violence, then, unfortunately, it has to be violent physical contact.
If you're a victim of domestic abuse - you don't have support. It's a hard truth but it's there. At my age, an abused girlfriend has all the support in the world. Once families are involved, once marriage and careers and all that are factors, people can't risk damaging their own lives by interfering in somebody else's. Bit by bit you'll find that a victim's personality starts being blamed for the abuse. Yeah, he beats her, but she DOES nag him all the time. She gave him that black eye, but he should be a man and just stand up for himself.
There's no shelter for male victims. They literally have nowhere to go. The point of this thread, and of the video, is that domestic abuse is equally serious, regardless of the gender.
PeterMerkin69 said:
I'm pretty sure most of you would say I'm a misogynist and I still laughed my ass off at that video. The guy was a gigantic ****. Look, women are physically weaker than men; he was in no danger of being overpowered by her and could have defended himself, but he chose not to. Despite his advantage, he shrank away like a cartoon elephant who caught a glimpse of a cartoon mouse. That, in and of itself, is enough to warrant laughter. Moreover, men still wield more power in practically every society on Earth, so in the long run there's absolutely no reason for him to be in a situation like that. Even if he didn't 'have it coming,' it was 100% consensual. How do you NOT laugh at someone who does that to himself?
That wasn't even domestic abuse, it was below the threshold of playful roughhousing. To call it domestic abuse is an insult to victims of actual abuse.
Well they were actors, so that's why it's consensual. Do you know what happens to men who get violent with women for any reason in public? The local white knight brigade steps up and steps in. It's a fantasy for practically every guy - to encounter a pretty girl being abused so they can heroically step in. If there's a gang of lads, well, there's only one way that ends.
Men hold more power in practically every society on Earth except on the bottom rung = basic social interaction. People will flock to a woman's side if she's in danger, as you saw in the video. If it's a guy, it's 'funny'. Yeah, he's bigger than her. What if he's non-violent? She's humiliating him in the street and he can't do shit about it because if he lays a hand on her, the "what's wrong with you?! begins.
