Meth junkie burns down 3,500 year old tree

[Eri]

Because Florida is running out of unique ways to embarrass itself, a 26-year old meth enthusiast set fire to and destroyed the world's fifth oldest tree last month. While she was in it. Smoking meth.

Sarah Barnes had climbed the tree to smoke, because where better to get high than in the branches of a 118-foot, 3,500 year old cypress ? The fire in question came when she wanted to get a better view of her surroundings, and presumably also her drugs. "The Senator," as the tree was known, was burned to the ground.

The good news is that Barnes seemed sufficiently chastened by the whole thing, reportedly telling friends that "I can't believe I burned down a tree older than Jesus." Neither can he, Sarah. Neither can he.

So what have we learned? First of all, please be careful with lighters. In the wrong hands, they can be deceptively destructive little gadgets. And then yes, right, meth. Don't do that.

Update: Apparently Ms. Barnes was actually inside the trunk of the tree, not on a branch, which is somehow even sadder/worse.

http://gizmodo.com/5889581/meth-addict-accidentally-burns-down-worlds-fifth+oldest-tree

Sad that something so old could go out just because a meth-head was drugging it up. I'm betting all the oxygen it gave over 3,500 years contributed a lot more than this zombie ever will. And I do mean zombie in the literal sense...

 

[Hero in a half shell]

Holy crap, she's Emperor Palpatine! Let this be a lesson kids, DON'T DO DRUGS!

Oh well, as the old saying goes, there are plenty more trees in the sea... or something

 

[C F]

Am I the only one wondering "So what's the new fifth oldest tree?"

It's such a shame something old and magnificent burned down.
...and now I'm over it.

 

[Viridian]

Maybe she didn't try to set the tree on fire.

Maybe someone saw her and went, "ZOMBIE! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!"

And then they missed with the whole fire thing.

Also, in before "drugs are bad m'kay?"

 

[EeveeElectro]

She? 26? ...wow.
Natural selection should work harder.

You can get arrested for burning down a tree? /: Arson, I guess...

 

[Aidinthel]

You can get arrested for burning down a tree? /: Arson, I guess...

Or maybe for the meth?

 

[EeveeElectro]

You can get arrested for burning down a tree? /: Arson, I guess...

Or maybe for the meth?

Oh yeah, I didn't even think about that...
Unless it all got burnt >._>

 

[Fiz_The_Toaster]

Holy crap, she's Emperor Palpatine! Let this be a lesson kids, DON'T DO DRUGS!

Oh well, as the old saying goes, there are plenty more trees in the sea... or something

I thought that looked like him too until I saw that it was a 'she' and not a 'he' in the article.

OT: Well that's depressing. Good job killing a tree that's older than Jesus you silly zombie meth head.

So, drugs are bad, m'kay.

 

[Jamash]

I think the news report has got it's figures muddled.

Judging by the photo, it should be "3,500 year old Meth Junkie burns down 26 year old tree".

 

[Scarim Coral]

Well I can certainly guess that no one had expected that tree to go down like that.

 

[Wolfram23]

I bet she was smoking the blue stuff. (Semi-obscure reference, anyone who gets it earns themselves a cookie.)

Could be wrong but I think I remember something like that in Breaking Bad.

OT: She looks like an old shoe.

 

[OniaPL]

Don't blame the man, blame the evil society that forced him to take up a life of illegal activities such as drugs.

 

[Dejawesp]

Trees that old are a precious and beautiful thing. They support animal life, and often have trees growing out of the tree itself. *sigh* What a waste.

Plus there's Jesus too. The Mormon jesus might have touched that tree or even lived in it.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I like how the emphasis is on 'Oh no, a tree got burnt' rather than 'this person needs help'.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

I swear, Florida may be the American equivalent of Japan. Seriously. [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OnlyInFlorida] And a 26-year old woman looking like that? Her punishment should be be that her face would be on posters about meth usage with the captions: "This woman was 26 at the time of her photo shoot".

 

[Eri]

I like how the emphasis is on 'Oh no, a tree got burnt' rather than 'this person needs help'.

You can't help the undead.

More seriously though, it's not "some tree" that got burnt. It's an extremely old tree that's lived through countless wars among other things, that's probably contributed more than she has or ever will.

 

[repeating integers]

I think the news report has got it's figures muddled.

Judging by the photo, it should be "3,500 year old Meth Junkie burns down 26 year old tree".

You win. Fucking lol'd.