Misinterpreted questions that can turn out...Awkward

[Queen Michael]

Me and a guy from my class in an elevator:

Him: Why did you press the button with your foot?

Me: Considering where my fingers have been, touching it with my shoes is far more hygienic.

Him: Yes, I suppose hands do come in contact with certain erogene zones now and then...

Me: I was talking about picking my nose but ooooookay.

 

[Skreeee]

Friend: I you could ever just turn into a guy, what would be the first thing you'd do?

Me (not even giving it a second thought): Wank.

Friend: What?!

Awkward silence (well, awkward for her, anyway) the rest of the day. I'd forgotten what a prude she was at that time.

 

[Kajt]

I remember seeing a thread named "Står den eller ligger den?" in a Swedish gaming forum.
The English translation isn't as funny.