Mock The Game...

[Trivun]

To those who think this should be in Forum Games and RP, I didn't intend it as a forum game, so I think Gaming Discussion is the best place for it. If the mods disagree then they can move it as they wish, but I feel it's a 'Gaming Discussion' thread more than anything.

Anyhow, to business. Most of us who are in the UK or other countries that get either BBC channels or Dave, have probably seen Mock The Week. For those who don't know what it is, it's a comedy panel quiz show where over several rounds, two teams of three compete to answer questions about the week's events while also being the funniest in their jokes. The three regulars on the show are currently HUgh Dennis, Andy Parsons and Russell Howard, and the regular quizmaster is Dar O'Briain.

At the end of each episode, there is a stand-up comedy round entitled 'Things You Wouldn't Hear'. Several themes are set where the comedians must come up with jokes based around things we wouldn't hear in, for example, 'A New Harry Potter Book', 'On Question Time', 'In a University Lecture', and so on.

So why not for gaming? The purpose of this thread is to play that round, based around things we wouldn't see or hear in games. I'll come up with three categories now, and add more to the mix over time to keep things fresh and exciting. Your job is to make these jokes up, and make us all laugh . To start us off, can you tell us:

'Things You Wouldn't Hear in Call Of Duty'

'Things You Wouldn't Hear in a Mario Game'

'Things You Wouldn't Hear from a Gaming Industry Executive at PAX'

 

[AfroTree]

"The russians are winning!"

"princess peach..SCREWING KRATOS"

"...were going to make a game..of life, you live his life..while you live yours..then he dies..three days after you of thirst"


?

 

[CLEVERSLEAZOID]

Ahhh I figured this might be something to do with Mock The Week, awesome awesome TV show, until they booted Frankie Boyle.

Really got put up some youtubes for those who haven't seen it/live in the UK.

'It's not easy being a Vulcan, Captain. Due to my death grip, I can't masturbate'
'We need to break into the Death Star's computer system! Does anyone know Darth Maul's mothers maiden name?'


Although I can't think of any of the top of my head :3

 

[Sassafrass]

Can't do the bottom two but can do the CoD one.

'Say...how about a dance off?'

 

[GuerrillaClock]

"Mario... I'm not getting kidnapped, I'm running away with him! If you don't take a hint I'm going to call the police next time."

 

[Trivun]

In a Mario game:

"Screw the other castle, she's hiding in the closet..."

 

[wooty]

Things You Wouldn't Hear In Call Of Duty:

"RAMIREZ! Take a break, you look tired"

old, but I'm all about recycling

 

[Drakmeire]

CoD= something intelligent
Mario game= OMG Bowser decided to just take over the castle without kidnapping Peach
PAX=This is a game called "SPACE MARINE!!!" and as you can see, the graphics are the only good thing about it.

 

[DarkHourPrince]

For the Mario one:

Maybe if I get a restraining order, you'll FINALLY get the hint.

 

[Ultress]

Peach:Mario I'm leaving you for Daisy

Mario: What A What A What.


alternitvly

Bowser: Mario all those kidnappings were just so you'd hurt me, the pain you give me is great and I think I love you.


Mario:What a What a What.

 

[El Poncho]

'Things You Wouldn't Hear in a Mario Game'

Hey Mario, I think you deserve this, lets have sex.

EVERY TIME MARIO! EVERY GODDAMN TIME, I TRY TO TAKE PEACH OUT FOR A NICE DINNER AT MY CASTLE BUT NO, YOU HAVE TO COME OVER HERE JUMPING ON MY TURTLES! WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHOVE THIS STAR UP YOUR LITTLE ITALIAN PIPE!

 

[tehweave]

'Things You Wouldn't Hear in Call Of Duty'

'Things You Wouldn't Hear in a Mario Game'

'Things You Wouldn't Hear from a Gaming Industry Executive at PAX'

1. "Oh darn. That guy shot me. He must be a better player than I. We lost the match? Eh, no big deal. I'll just play again because I enjoy the game."

The ones I came up with for mario or gaming industry were lame, but I like this one.

 

[Blueruler182]

"No! I wanted soap, I didn't want you to join me! Get out!"

"Your princess has been rescued."

I can't do the last one.

 

[DrunkDonut]

Things You Wouldn't Hear in Call Of Duty'
Oh you were camping around the corner wow nice tactic wish I had thought of it

 

[khaimera]

COD: "good game"
Mario: "all these mushroom are distorting my sense of reality, we're all connected man, by atoms and stuff"
PAX: "Look over there, Dead Rising 2 isn't selling out to please American's after all"

 

[rescuer86]

'Things You Wouldn't Hear in Call Of Duty'

'Things You Wouldn't Hear in a Mario Game'

'Things You Wouldn't Hear from a Gaming Industry Executive at PAX'

"Cooperation, teamwork, and strategy. These are the keys to winning" (in either single or multiplayer)

"Toad, for the last time: Get you hand off my ASS!"

"My money pool is growing smaller and no longer safe to high dive into. Soooo, we are making an Oblivion clone, only, ya know, worse. We don't even give a shit, cause you morons will buy it. Also, Steve Jobs now has 51% stock. So, ya know, suck it."