Mock The Week

[SmartIdiot]

Topic: Things that would change the mood at a dinner party
Frankie Boyle: There is a vegetarian option, you can fuck off.

Frankie Boyle.
Yay.

Haha I nearly forgot that one... he's ridiculously quick off the mark most of the time.

I always feel they seem heavily prepared, I mean there funny and all but there's no way they don't see the topics before hand. And a lot of Frankie Boyles jokes in the other sections is just rehashing of his tour (and the same goes for any show he's on...)

OT
Worst person to be president
Hugh; You can call me president Sha-woddy-woddy

Yes I know he does it all the time but every time there's a tear in my eye

Yeah it's obviously rehearsed as you can tell from some of the others who go up(i.e Russell Howard, Hugh Dennis, funny lines, horrible delivery), but with Frankie he delivers it so fluidly it's almost as if he's just made it up on the spot.

Oh, and this...

Topic: Things the Queen didn't say during her Christmas message
Frankie Boyle: I'm so old even my pussy is haunted!

EDIT: Dammit, ninja'd.

 

[tomtom94]

I am totally lost here, whats going on?.

British TV show called Mock the Week. They do a round at the end of every show called "Scenes We'd Like To See" that lasts for about five minutes in which the contestants are given a topic such as "Unlikely Things To Find On A Roadsign" and they must improvise a humourous one they'd like to see.

In that example, "Help, I'm trapped in a sign-making factory!"

 

[Cyanin]

Mock the week is an english show with a panel of comedians, two guests in every episode and regulars were at least russell howard, hugh dennis, frankie boyle, andy parsons and dara o' brian hosts it. there's a section called 'scenes we'd like to see', that's this one.

EDIT: Freaking ninja..

 

[Manwithahat]

Topic: Unlikely things to hear on Question Time
Ed Byrne: Allow me to answer your question with a question; "Why don't you fuck off?"

 

[wooty]

Things you wouldnt want to hear when going into battle
"Hello, I'm George Bush"

Commercials that never made it to air
"Masterbation, are you getting your 5 a day?"

 

[Kitacular]

Things you wouldn't expect a sports commentator to say (something like that)
Andy Parsons: "AND THEY'RE OFF! THEY'RE OFF...and I should probably keep my voice down because this is Snooker."

Would have said evilgrim's suggestion, otherwise.

 

[Soxafloppin]

I think the one about 'Things you dont want to hear on your driving test' was hilarious.

 

[Valkyira]

Topic: Things that would change the mood at a dinner party
Frankie Boyle: I hope nobody here is allergic to nuts, because I like to rest mine on the table.

'Things that would change the mood at a dinner party'.

Frankie Boyle: There is a vegetarian option... You can fuck off!

Thats my favourite...

 

[thebrainiac1]

Topic: Things that would change the mood at a dinner party
Hugh Dennis: Don't worry, there's no need to say grace. We just sacrifice a child to the great lord IMHOTEP!

 

[JammasterJG]

Topic: Things that would change the mood at a dinner party
Frankie Boyle: I hope nobody here is allergic to nuts, because I like to rest mine on the table.

'Things that would change the mood at a dinner party'.

Frankie Boyle: There is a vegetarian option... You can fuck off!

Thats my favourite...

'Things that would change the mood at a dinner party'

Hugh Dennis: that was a lovely meal, i think we should all raise our glasses TO ZEH FURHER!!!!

 

[DM master]

"things you wouldnt hear at the olymics"

Andy Parsons: "And its a gold medal for Ireland"

Dara's reaction :L

 

[JoshGod]

every time hugh uses jimmy
all of frankys lines

famous last words
hugh:charles?charles?what are you doing with that pillow?

 

[TiTH3R]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vvP1y1Y3Ho

 

[laura3lizab3th]

unfortunately this is the only part of the show i cannot stand...
Though how long this one went on for did amuse me slightly:

"things you wouldnt hear at the olymics"

Andy Parsons: "And its a gold medal for Ireland"

Dara's reaction :L

 

[MadMechanic]

Things you wouldn't hear veterans say (or something like that)
Milton Jones: (Old man type voice)I was dropped over Ahrnem in '44. I jumped out of the plane with all my mates. 5000ft. 4000ft. 3000, 2000, 1000ft. I pulled the cord - my anorack got tighter...

Things yu wouldn't want to hear a pilot say
Hugh: And, over to the left, you can see our wings...falling to earth.

 

[KaiRai]

I need to know where this came from.

To BBC!

A lot of them are on Youtube.

edit: Things the Queen would not say at her speech(something like that)
Frankie Boyle: My pussy is so old it's haunted.

Ninja'd me there.

When Milton was on it!!!!

"I was in the parachute regiment, dropping over occupied territory *wheeeeew* 4000 feet, 3000 feet, I pulled the cord - MY CAGOULE TIGHTENED!!!"

Or Russell's epic "If you hit me at 40 mph, there's an 80% chance I'll die, if you hit me at 30 mph, there's an 80% chance I'll live......Stop trying to hit me"

 

[cynicalandbored]

Does anyone remember the bit where Ed Byrne was trying to get in for the quickfire round, couldn't, and when he finally did he picked up the microphone stand and ran off with it?

 

[jackanderson]

Topic: Unlikely Things To Hear In A Superhero Movie
Frankie: "You're trapped, Spiderman! Trapped in this enormous bath!"
"What's that Joker? You'll be back? Somehow I don't think you will be."
"Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre!"

I love Frankie. So controversial. Shame that he's gone.

 

[messy]

Frankie's joke that never made it to air.

Unlikely things to hear on points of view

Spoiler: here be swear words etc.

Dear points of view, after watching queer eye for the straight guy I was under the impression that gay friends would provide me fashion advice; instea they fucked me