Mom just got you an iPhone for Christmas!

[R.Nevermore]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/janell-burley-hofmann/iphone-contract-from-your-mom_b_2372493.html

Dear Gregory
Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good and responsible 13-year-old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.
I love you madly and look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad." Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30 p.m. every school night and every weekend night at 9:00 p.m. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30 a.m. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person -- preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.

13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO (fear of missing out).

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You and I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.


Now what do you think of these rules? Are they sane at all? Do you think this is a good way to teach your stun phone etiquette?


Personally, If my mom gave me a phone with these rules I'd give it back and say, I don't want 'your phone' as a gift. If your are kind enough to give me a gift, make it mine.
Ill translate these rules into one phrase: "I fear the way technology is changing the world, so you're going to curl up in a ball and hide from it. "
News flash! Landlines are dead. Treating your cellphone like a landline is foolish. What's the point in a cellphone if you can't take it to school or out with you at all?
'Wonder without Googling?' One of the things that has always captivated me about our time is that if there's EVER anything we don't know, the answer is right at our fingertips. Expanding our knowledge base thousands of times over. Why deny that?
The not taking photos rule baffles me.
Telling him what music to download?
I have to stop. But I could go on all day. Sufficed to say that she should have gotten her son a cordless Telegraph transmitter for a gift... Since she's so afraid of change.
The point is, you teach your child respect through example, not ridiculous lists of rules.

 

[Quaxar]

Personally, I wouldn't take an iphone for free. But these rules are still ridiculous as conditions to own a phone.

 

[Fractral]

Why spend goodness knows how much on an iphone, if you then stop the child from using anything unique to the iphone? Why not just buy them a far cheaper phone that has none of the functions you don't want them to use? Seems a little bit silly.

 

[Hazy992]

What's the point in having a smartphone if you're not allowed to use it properly? I'd rather not have it than have one with so many restrictions and rules.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

I wouldn't want an iphone in the first place let alone one with so many rules.

13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

This one I don't get - what's wrong with wanting to have pictures to help you remember things?

 

[Rawne1980]

Land lines are dead?

That's news to me, i've been using one for years and it still works. I don't own a mobile phone.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts.

I don't need a mobile for that, we have the internet and webcams.

Although the last time I owned a webcam I got drunk and e-mailed everyone in my address list a picture of my penis ..... including family.

It was many years ago.

 

[Tayh]

He has my sympathy.
He could always return it(if he hasn't opened it yet), use the money to buy a cheaper and better phone and then use the leftover money on himself or on a gift for his mom.
And the best part is, this way you void all her rules, since they only applied to the iphone.

 

[Jedi-Hunter4]

What a freaking weirdo, truly 13 and you don't feel you can trust your son with the power of communication and the internet? If you don't want your kid doing all this stuff why not just buy a basic phone that makes calls and texts, give the kid a small allowance and say you have to top up the phone themselves? What she's done is essentially buy her sun a ferrai of phones, then say you can only drive it once a week, nobody can know you have it or see you drive it, it must be in private and uou can only drive it 10mph max in the garden.

Totally pointless. I was always pretty dam respectful especially at like 13 but think I would of actually been like " Are you taking the fucking piss?" if my mum had approached me with a phone and that contract.

 

[JoJo]

The rules are a mixture really, some like being responsible for repair costs or the private parts rule is just common sense, others though like the music advice are ridiculously overbearing, I mean what sort of parent gives their teenager rules over what music they can listen to?

I can get behind the basic idea but the list should have been chopped down to half that size and the life advice rules taken out.

 

[Keoul]

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad." Not ever.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.


11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO (fear of missing out).

I feel like these rules kinda contradict themselves... Not keeping it with you and putting it on silence would make it difficult to follow rule 3 right? or with clever wordplay, he could ignore rule 3 completely since rule 11 says put it on silence, he wouldn't be ignoring the phone when it rings, only when it vibrates.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

This part is just plain mean...

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You and I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

And these rules are just stupid!

Overall I hate apple products anyway so no thank you!

 

[Fat Hippo]

Yikes. I'd rather just not have it if with every action I'd be thinking: "Does this breach my contract?" Then I'd make a video of my penis in public and upload it to a porn website. TAKE THAT MOM! YOU"VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD ME!

 

[R.Nevermore]

Allot of apple and iPhone hate here heh. I like my iPhone but all that aside...

There are allot of people out there who need learned not to be a douche with their phone. You see those people every day...

Talking on their cell while driving (not hands free)
Talking on their phone when someone is serving you (fast food counter, grocery store cashier, bank)
Texting someone across the table from them
Answering their phone when you're hanging out with them
Jingling phones or blinding screens in a dark movie theatre

And the examples keep going.
I'm sure these are what possessed her to give such rules. Teaching respect is important, and it must be done. But this is NOT the way to do it. The kid isn't understanding why, he's simply DOING because the rules say so. If he breaks the rules he's punished. He needs to learn to do this in other ways by parents teaching. And besides, a bunch of those rules are astounding: I didn't know we moved to an age where we encouraged our children to talk to strangers.

 

[Corven]

I think some people are taking this "contract" a little too seriously, especially the life advice rules. In reality most of these rules aren't bad for a 13 year old who isn't paying for any of the bills on the phone.

The only thing that I would say is to let the kid carry the phone with him at all times, you never know when an emergency will happen and you would have wished there was a way to contact the kid.

 

[ohnoitsabear]

Am I the only one that doesn't think this is that bad? I mean sure, some of the rules are a little unreasonable (the hand it in by 7:30 rule in particular), but this is for a freaking 13 year old. I've seen way too many young people, especially around that age, that spend their time with their faces buried in their smart phones when they're supposed to be doing something with somebody. If these rules ensure that this person courteous and responsible when using their phone, especially around other people, then I say go for it. Besides, I honestly don't see why a 13 year old would need a smart phone at all, much less one with unrestricted access.

Anyway, if I were given an iPhone under similar conditions, I would give it straight back. Not because of the conditions, but because fuck smart phones, and iPhones in particular. They're overly expensive toys that I have absolutely no use for.

 

[Aris Khandr]

I wouldn't think of leaving my house without my phone. Mostly because I am an adult who drives, and all it takes is some jerk hitting me, or a blowout, or a dead battery, and without my phone I'm pretty hosed.

That said, most of the rules seem fairly reasonable. I got my first cel phone when I was 16, when I got my first car. Because, again, if something happens on the road, having the phone can save you a lot of headache. Back then, phones made calls and that was it.

A few of those rules seem like they'd conflict. Such as always answering your phone when it rings, but leaving it at home sometimes or silencing it when talking to another person. There is nothing inherently rude about taking a phone call while in public, as long as you politely excuse yourself from the conversation first. I'm currently applying for jobs. Short of going to a movie, my phone is not turned off, conversation, restaurant, whatever. Because I need to know if someone wants to hire me.

In short, these rules are overall fine, but bother me in the same way that most rules for children bother me. It's not that there flat out wrong, but they gloss over a lot of situations and nuances that matter just because they think kids can't understand situations.

 

[DoPo]

Allot of apple and iPhone hate here heh.

What?

What?

Ummm.... are you sure you're in the same thread as me? The only thing remotely related to "hate" is Fractral suggesting buying a cheaper phone instead of making a bigass list of rules for an iPhone. And that's not really hate, either.

Maybe you shouldn't ascribe malice where there is nothing to even suggest any.

 

[Zantos]

Allot of apple and iPhone hate here heh.

What?

What?

Ummm.... are you sure you're in the same thread as me? The only thing remotely related to "hate" is Fractral suggesting buying a cheaper phone instead of making a bigass list of rules for an iPhone. And that's not really hate, either.

Maybe you shouldn't ascribe malice where there is nothing to even suggest any.

Just so long as they don't come up with some terrible word that makes people hate them. I'm still reeling from "fursecution" that someone used yesterday. The best I can come up with is "appsecution". I didn't want to put too much brain into it.

OT: This is hardly a concrete legally binding document. You might think you're being clever finding loopholes through rules, but it really is just some rules a mum gave to her son. If he's responsible with it they'll probably lax up, some of those rules will probably have already stopped being enforced now as it is, if they ever even were. If he's that against them he can mow lawns or babysit or whatever the kids his age do nowadays to earn money for a cheap pay-as-you-go like plenty of other people do. From the video the kid seems fairly happy with his phone, certainly a step up from the wonderful tweets and statuses we can all enjoy about how parents are evil because they bought their kid the wrong colour iPhone.

 

[Froggy Slayer]

I don't really like this list. It's trying to give teenagers the responsibility of adults, but assuming that they're as stupid as toddlers. Hm.

 

[Screamarie]

I find this absolutely hilarious. One minute the escapist cries foul at any parent that fucks up with their children and technology and say "It's the parents fault for not monitoring their children!" and then we get a parent who is taking an active and responsible role in their child's connection with technology and you say she's making "too many rules and restrictions."

I think it's great what that mom is doing, she's offering her child (A THIRTEEN year old. Not a sixteen year old, not an eighteen year old, THIRTEEN) an amazing piece of technology but also requiring him to use it responsibily. How many parents let their kids use xboxes, internet, and iphones without ever ONCE paying attention to the fact that their children could harm themselves, their parents, or others with that technology, intentionally or otherwise and then are surprised when their kids do it?

I think this mom is smart, she knows her child is still a child and will fuck up, she doesn't go to the default "my baby would never do a thing like that."

Also...it's...what...a 500 dollar phone? that she has to CONTINUE to pay for, for at least the next 3 years and possibly longer so you can bet your ass it's a loaner, and if he breaks it's only fair he pay to fix it.