More tedious relationship help?

[alerriixx]

leave it for a little while and if you really like her friend then make a move,
just so you know, from her talking to her friend,both of them probably hate you right now

Well Tamia (the friend) is talking to me rather nicely at the moment, so I'm guessing maybe their friendship wasn't in the right place? And the break up was completely not my fault so there's another reason not to be angry at me right?

I asked her what she thought of me, and yes she does like me too, alot apparently, but I'm not sure whether it's like... morally sound to ask her if she would be ok going out with me xD

EDIT: While there are some slightly antagonistic people on here, the vast majority of you are all very nice people. Why I find this such a shock I don't know.

Mmm, it's a tough choice to make, but it's up to your moral compass and hers. Other peoplews should not matter, but I feel many people, most likely your ex may look at it in a negative light. But this depends on the people and how they view such things you know? I'd try to figure out on some level how others may view it, then make your decision. You are unsure about it, so there has to be some care or concern there. How does she feel about it?

If by she you mean the friend, she sorta wants to go for it but doesn't want my ex to think badly of her, so I suggested maybe keeping it slightly more private for a while, is this a good idea?

Also.. I really, really couldn't care what people think of me besides.. 6 people? And only one of them (the girl im trying to go out with) is friends with her and would see it from her point of view.

Mmm, keeping it a secret may be okay, but if the ex finds out it will likely strain their friendship you know? No one likes secrets, but on the flip side, what you two do is completely your business, and since you aren't with said ex anymore, it's certainly none of hers on what you two do together. So in that notion, keeping a low profile on your relationship is perfectly justified in my opinion.

I did put it to her that they could fall out, she didnt seem to care that much in all honesty.. But unlike me she still cares what people think of her hence the low profile, im not tricking myself into thinking this is ok am i??

 

[Thundero13]

As a wise person once said: You have to love with yourself before you can truly love someone else, i'm not sure if this helps in anyway soo just remember that you're still only 16

 

[Bruin]

Ignore the first two posts. Seriously, you'll regret it if you follow their advice.

Take some time. Going straight from a long-term relationship into another relationship indicates and creates a dependency, something you definitely don't want. You need to be able to stand on your own before you can hope to stand with someone else in a romantic, committed way. Make sure you're ready for another relationship before entering one.

Beyond that, do not even think of getting involved with someone unless you will take the relationship seriously. Dating is meant to be a time of testing, when you get to know someone in a romantic setting and decide whether a permanent relationship (marriage) is possible. Don't play with people's hearts, and don't screw with yours. Wait until a girl comes along that you could see yourself spending your entire life with, and pursue her with all your energy.

Good advice, I conclude.

It's always been my philosophy not to get into a relationship with somebody I couldn't seriously see myself with ten years from now.

This isn't Seinfield either, girlfriends don't happen every week. Do that and the value of them in the first place plummets dramatically.

Shouldn't have gone out with somebody while you were so young. Write some terrible poetry, start wearing black, cry a lot in private - then get the fuck over it.

As well as this.

Without the black part. It's just so cliche.

I really like this girl, almost as much as I liked my last girlfriend just before things went sour, and I could imagine spending the rest of my life with her. So is that ok?

Also on the cliché part, how is it not meant to be cliche in that case, your typifying every teenage romance into the same kind of category. Is it meant to be some sort of adult quip that I'm not emotionally developed enough to feel strongly for someone of the opposite sex as I am not as old as some people?

I have several conclusions for you, my man:

One, you never loved your girlfriend that much.

Two, you're switching your infatuation over to somebody who's a lot like your friend (which she probably is, considering she's her friend).

Three, you're lying to me and trying to self-justify dating a girl you really don't like but are denying that you don't because that would mean you'd have to look elsewhere for a girlfriend, and we're all such lazy bastards.

Four, our most unlikely one, you actually love this other girl. Genuine love that isn't swift infatuation brought on, as in case Two.

And yes, you did misunderstand me.

In any case, I don't discredit your ability to feel love. I spent my entire teenage years loving the same girl. Genuine love that I haven't found since. It's not something you encounter often, and I'm not sure all teenagers do. So sure, in fact, that I'd be willing to put a good bet into the corner of "You're just infatuated" in most 'Girl Halp' threads.

The odds are against what you say being true, is all. Logic and reason overcome romanticism and sentimentality in my mind.

Better said: I would like to believe what you're saying to be true, because from your articulation alone you seem to be more sound than most people who make these threads. But you're asking me to believe that I'm going to get the Ace of Spades next hand.

 

[alerriixx]

No I dont think they do that much.. Just you know how teenagers are, very quick to typecast someones reputation. I dont want her to get that any less than she does.

 

[the Dept of Science]

Ignore the first two posts. Seriously, you'll regret it if you follow their advice.

Take some time. Going straight from a long-term relationship into another relationship indicates and creates a dependency, something you definitely don't want. You need to be able to stand on your own before you can hope to stand with someone else in a romantic, committed way. Make sure you're ready for another relationship before entering one.

Beyond that, do not even think of getting involved with someone unless you will take the relationship seriously. Dating is meant to be a time of testing, when you get to know someone in a romantic setting and decide whether a permanent relationship (marriage) is possible. Don't play with people's hearts, and don't screw with yours. Wait until a girl comes along that you could see yourself spending your entire life with, and pursue her with all your energy.

Good advice, I conclude.

It's always been my philosophy not to get into a relationship with somebody I couldn't seriously see myself with ten years from now.

This isn't Seinfield either, girlfriends don't happen every week. Do that and the value of them in the first place plummets dramatically.

The reason I gave the "Go nuts" advice was because I played it safe at that age and I regret it. Looking back at some of the crazy times other people had, I wish I had some of the stories that they do. Sure I was fairly content through most of it, but now I don't really have anything to show for it.
I don't agree with the only having relationships that will last either. Surely if you both enjoy the time you had together, in the long term it doesn't matter if that time was 4 weeks or 4 years. Provided you are not in a situation where you have to hold onto girls like they are gold bullion, because you have no idea when the next one will come around, I don't really see the disadvantage.
To make it clear, I'm not holding up being a "player" either, going with girls you don't like because you can get some sex from it. I'm just saying that only going for safe options and streching relationships out for as long as possible probably doesn't do any good either.

 

[Gudrests]

being someone who ended a ...."rocky" relation ship of like 4 years this summer that just passed..take some time...relax and go hook up with the girl if you like her...try notto date her right away..it might just be hormones screaming and yellin at you

 

[alerriixx]

Ignore the first two posts. Seriously, you'll regret it if you follow their advice.

Take some time. Going straight from a long-term relationship into another relationship indicates and creates a dependency, something you definitely don't want. You need to be able to stand on your own before you can hope to stand with someone else in a romantic, committed way. Make sure you're ready for another relationship before entering one.

Beyond that, do not even think of getting involved with someone unless you will take the relationship seriously. Dating is meant to be a time of testing, when you get to know someone in a romantic setting and decide whether a permanent relationship (marriage) is possible. Don't play with people's hearts, and don't screw with yours. Wait until a girl comes along that you could see yourself spending your entire life with, and pursue her with all your energy.

Good advice, I conclude.

It's always been my philosophy not to get into a relationship with somebody I couldn't seriously see myself with ten years from now.

This isn't Seinfield either, girlfriends don't happen every week. Do that and the value of them in the first place plummets dramatically.

Shouldn't have gone out with somebody while you were so young. Write some terrible poetry, start wearing black, cry a lot in private - then get the fuck over it.

As well as this.

Without the black part. It's just so cliche.

I really like this girl, almost as much as I liked my last girlfriend just before things went sour, and I could imagine spending the rest of my life with her. So is that ok?

Also on the cliché part, how is it not meant to be cliche in that case, your typifying every teenage romance into the same kind of category. Is it meant to be some sort of adult quip that I'm not emotionally developed enough to feel strongly for someone of the opposite sex as I am not as old as some people?

I have several conclusions for you, my man:

One, you never loved your girlfriend that much.

Two, you're switching your infatuation over to somebody who's a lot like your friend (which she probably is, considering she's her friend).

Three, you're lying to me and trying to self-justify dating a girl you really don't like but are denying that you don't because that would mean you'd have to look elsewhere for a girlfriend, and we're all such lazy bastards.

Four, our most unlikely one, you actually love this other girl. Genuine love that isn't swift infatuation brought on, as in case Two.

And yes, you did misunderstand me.

In any case, I don't discredit your ability to feel love. I spent my entire teenage years loving the same girl. Genuine love that I haven't found since. It's not something you encounter often, and I'm not sure all teenagers do. So sure, in fact, that I'd be willing to put a good bet into the corner of "You're just infatuated" in most 'Girl Halp' threads.

The odds are against what you say being true, is all. Logic and reason overcome romanticism and sentimentality in my mind.

Better said: I would like to believe what you're saying to be true, because from your articulation alone you seem to be more sound than most people who make these threads. But you're asking me to believe that I'm going to get the Ace of Spades next hand.

Fair point I suppose, I can genuinely say I did love my ex truly, and if you noticed when i reffered to her friend I said like and not love as they are vastly different. This is a point I cannot stress enough.

I was in a fairly unhappy relationship for some time but as I loved the girl I plowed on nevertheless. This friend of hers was my motivation to move on..

I do apologise if my articulation is somewhat lacking now, im on a touchscreen phone I can barely use at the moment. -_-

 

[mrx19869]

gf come and go, friends last forever.. so get some friends.. and the girls will follow.. it always happens like that.. plus your 16.. so HS girls are lame, when you get to college there are girls everywhere, hand over fist.. I mean loads of chicks.. its like shooting fish in a barrel.

just wrap it before you tap it..

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

Take some time to yourself to do something that you've always wanted to. Don't feel in a rush to get back in a relationship.

 

[dex-dex]

you become the biggest whore you know!

no no bad advice

I am not sure the longest i have ever spent with someone was three months and he moved too far for us to still keep the relationship.
maybe i could get pointers on how to stay in a relationship?

 

[TheTurtleMan]

In my opinion I don't think you should have been in a relationship that long in the first place. You're only sixteen after all so you should just have fun and go nuts, if you want to go out with her friend then why the hell not?

 

[spartan231490]

dude, ask the friend out. aint worth the regret to not do it. as a side note, be prepared, she might shoot u down, and if she doesn't the first girl may hate you. It's happened before both ways. If ur still on good terms with ur ex, tell her first, and it will go a lot better.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Yeah, I just broke up with my girlfriend today. She just tries to do whats best for me without listening to what I want. Which I love her for. But not when its the cause of our breakup.

Really sucks because I'm still crazy in love with her.