Most embarrassing thing you have said to a girl.

[Evil the White]

I said something that somehow meant I was met with the response "So you think I'm a pole dancer?", to which I replied "No, but I wouldn't mind seeing you having a go at it."

I salute you, good sir.
[Also stealing your line and am going to manoeuvre it into conversation somehow]

Go for it, I just can't remember what I said to get round to that. Something about hot pants pajamas and some photos. I just consider myself lucky that I managed to turn it around. But unlucky enough to date a girl who doesn't respond well to that sort of thing xD

 

[No Tomorrow]

thnx i was huuuuungry

 

[The_Graff]

"after thinking about this for some time, I have no alternative but to tell you that my feelings for you can only be accurately classified as love"

this requires some explanation. I do not handle emotion well, I have never really been able to get an understanding of it up and running. as such it makes me feel quite uncomfortable. in order to combat this discomfort I resort to increasingly prosaic and labyrinthine sentance structure to try and convince myself that everything is fine. admittedly the above sentance is not the pinnacle of my sesquipedalian loquacity but it was certainly the most embarrasing.

 

[Brandon237]

well, *snip

Hey, it's fine, at least a girl has asked you out... [sup]Don't call me a loser...[/sup]
I am not so lucky. Although I find being brave is the best thing, gets you serious brownie points in conversation.

actually, i was never asked out. it was just a friendly thing, with the people assigned out by the person whose idea it was (i assume you're referring to the sadie hawkins dance part).

Ahhh, when a higher power controls your emotional life, Shit's gonna happen. Oh, and to cheer you up:

Spoiler: Don't ask

SHIT HAPPENS

Close-to-complete Ideology and Religion Shit List

Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.
Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.
Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all shit.
Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.
Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.
Utopianism: This shit does not stink.
Darwinism: This shit was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY shit.
Communism: It's everybody's shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this shit.
Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.
Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway?
Stoicism: This shit is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this shit.
Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen.
Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >KnockKnock< Shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy shit happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB shits.
Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time.
Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone shit?
Agnostic #3: What is this shit?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What shit?
Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism: No shit.

And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: Shit happens-one day at a time!

 

[Jackalb]

"after thinking about this for some time, I have no alternative but to tell you that my feelings for you can only be accurately classified as love"

Deep.

Did it work?

 

[The_Graff]

"after thinking about this for some time, I have no alternative but to tell you that my feelings for you can only be accurately classified as love"

Deep.

Did it work?

if by 'work' we mean make her pull a funny face, eye up potential exits, and tell me that nothing was going to happen then ... yes ... it worked perfectly.

 

[Jackalb]

"after thinking about this for some time, I have no alternative but to tell you that my feelings for you can only be accurately classified as love"

Deep.

Did it work?

if by 'work' we mean make her pull a funny face, eye up potential exits, and tell me that nothing was going to happen then ... yes ... it worked perfectly.

Well, close enough.

 

[Loop Stricken]

There's more.

PLEASE Share!

I think.... I think i shall only send you messages from now on when I'm drunk and can't help or remember doing so. It's just easier on my fragile mind.

either one has low standards (which cannot BE, I like YOU, fawn fawn), or he has little enjoyable in life.

I'll just entertain myself then. OOH! WINKIE! FOUND A WINKIE! BOING BOING BOING

Egads, I forgot to say goodnight! But then again so did you!

You and $PERSON1 came online together! I AM SUSPICIOUS AND HE MUST DIE

Jealous? I'm not jealous! Who said I was paranoid?!

Ho hum. off to work then, where I shall think and ponder and brood and rage over two unattainable meatsacks.
... hm, that didn't sound at all right.

Do you see how I've logged on and not sent you a pointless message? Ha ha! You have no power over me, devil woman! And you have fled. You have no answers for me!

Yes, well. Insert metaphor about bait and fish, imply that I'm doing all i can to get to know you and any thought involved needs to come from yourself, allude to great cosmic joke to constantly anger me in all endeavours, pretend to see something more interesti--ooh, iPlayer.

Occasionally thoughts cross my mind. Once in a while they pertain to you and this whole wall of silent indifference thing you've got going on. The thoughts cause me to ponder on why you're doing this. I can assure you that whatever reason you have for this is wrong and will not work on me. I am not like other people, I do not think as they do. Or I do and just hide it really well. or I don't and

wow, I ran out of room.

I think of the conversations I saved I'm about halfway through. In case it wasn't evident, it's largely an exercise in talking to myself.

 

[Gildan Bladeborn]

I honestly can't recall any embarrassing things I've said to women, because I lead the life of a celibate monk so my conversations don't really have any ulterior motives or include the possibilities of rejection, and I'm entirely up front about my status as a colossal nerd (nerd pride!), so no real potential for embarrassment there either.

Couple that with my tendency to be scrupulously polite but quiet in public and you have a recipe for pleasant conversations that aren't especially funny to relate later. There actually have been times when there was apparently some underlying subtext to my conversations with the fairer sex, but I'm so oblivious that I didn't notice and in fact only learned about it long afterward when my sister pointed out the girl in question had a crush on me.

 

[Asturiel]

"That dress looks great on you. It would look even better accelerating towards the floor at 9.81 metres per second squared"
Does not work, even if you're talking to a physicist.

You had me on the floor for a solid minute.

That is amazing good sir.

Well, I have said alot of embarrassing things and some even had positive results. Therefore, I am going to have to go with a text, that ended up with me and my friend fighting it out.

It was during class and he was texting a girl that I knew he liked but she wanted to take it slow. He just kept telling me about it " She is really direct and wants to take it slow, Im all cool with it but, dont know when to start speeding it up." Being a prick and wanting to 'help' my friend, I waited till he was away asking the teacher on how to do a question. I grabbed his phone from under his pencilcase and texted "Hey, Im really attracted to you and want to speed it up, no need to be frigid, phone sex would be a great start."

Now this is where I fucked up, the girls name is Mel (Mellisa) and right next to it on contacts was Mum. Yep, I sent it to Mum.

Moments later he returned and his phone vibrated. Picked it up and had the "wtf" look on his face. I tried my best to hold in the laughter then said "so what she say?" He just made me look at the screen and there it said "CALL ME -Mum"

Right there I knew I fucked up big time. I really dont want to type out the whole story but, yea, he has a mother that thinks sites like myspace and tagged is just a way for teenagers to view softcore porn etc.

In the end, our friends found out and we resolved the conflict. Till this day, we still remain good friends

Oh and he explained the situation to his girlfriend and they had a good laugh about it. So in a way I DID help
PS: wow, felt like typing a life story. If you read it, good for you *gives cookie*

No cookie required sir, that story is a cookie in itself.

An amazing golden cookie.

MIne's a bit sad. This cute girl in High School was talking about how much she liked me, and I replied "You dated one of my friends, I can't date you," even though I kinda dug the girl a bit. I was lauded as a hero by the friend, but I felt really bad because I didn't know how much I may have hurt her feelings and she was really nice :-(

You sir are amazing and I applaud you for what you did. It sucks later but I find it very respectable that you took that stance for your friend.

There was also a time where I saw a female friend of mine walking down the street, so I went up behind her and picked her up, saying "Your coming with me!"
5 minutes, a slap and a lot of apologising later, I really wished I hadn't made a complete stranger think I was a rapist.

Golden Rule: Never assume it's your friend until you see their face, and get a clear view of it. It avoids this kind of shit (I have jokingly tossed around a stranger or two before I realized this...)

Oh, and: My first post on these forums!. Hi!

Welcome to the Escapist friend, I certainly hope you enjoy this site for all it has to offer I would honestly recommend reading this [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.202272-The-New-Escapist-Community-and-Forums-Codex-Index]. It's a helpful way to find everything you may be looking for on the site, including all of the introductory guides and such.

so yeah, I'm awful with girls. cookie if you read all that without calling me a loser (i am)

tl;dr i suck at life

You don't suck at life, everybody has times like this man. Although some of those I can just attribute to lady luck completely disliking you.

OT: Me for the most part, I don't have anything major, I have something that could maybe be classified as medium but I'll let yalls decide. A lot of the time when embarrassing things happen I dwell on it for a little bit then completely forget about it, unless I have a specific reminder that strikes me, so I basically forget them. This combined with the fact that I apparently have what is known as "Charisma" works well for me. But here are a few that stand out.

I accidentally brought the conversation with my friend towards liking people, and spilled that I liked someone. The kind of guy he is he had to know (he wanted to help) and kept pressuring me. I kept making excuses, trying to end his destructive crusade, but I eventually yielded and told him I liked ------. Turns out she goes on his buss and said that he was going to tell her that I liked her. With that he logged off.

I've never wanted to punch a person in the face more in my entire life. But anyways, things get a bit worse after that so I'll leave it there.

 

[superbatranger]

Oh Christ...almost every time I would try to strike up a conversation my friends would find some way to mess it up. I think the worst was when one of them snuck up behind me, wrapped their arms around my waist, and said, "Thanks for last night." The girl laughed, my friends laughed, and I was left standing there like a dumbass.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

"That dress looks great on you. It would look even better accelerating towards the floor at 9.81 metres per second squared"
Does not work, even if you're talking to a physicist.

You had me on the floor for a solid minute.

Eh, I study physics. Apparently lines like that are expected. And worse. Cheesiness is an important part of making a fool of yourself.

 

[Asturiel]

Eh, I study physics. Apparently lines like that are expected. And worse. Cheesiness is an important part of making a fool of yourself.

As much as I didn't like physics, that is just such a nerdy hilarious line that I couldn't help but laugh. Well duh! Without cheese you got nothin man!

Although I was more used to it as 9.799 m/s2

 

[Not-here-anymore]

tl;dr i suck at life

I wouldn't say so; I've managed as bad in the past. And, by the strange magic of admitting to having done similarly strange things, I'm excused from mentioning exactly what those events were! (Although, as the most basic, I broke a girl out of depression by telling her she was beautiful. Doesn't sound like a bad thing, but I got scared of commitment, and so convinced her I was gay to avoid any kind of relationship. Dear God I'm an idiot...)

 

[ploppytheman]

I GOT THE BEST ONE!!!

Ok it was my friend though and he is from a foreign country and he was trying to ask out some girl. So his English was pretty bad and he asked her "You want Milkshake" while making a shaking motion with his hand, which she understood as jacking off. Yeh this is true and I am laughing right now, literally loling.

For me, wait is this sober or drunk?

I can't really think of one actually... I'm pretty smooth if I'm sober, and still smooth while drunk, just not taken seriously. I drunk dialed this girl when I blacked out and I didn't find out till two weeks later when another girl we know told me. I was like... wut... r u serious? Ooops... I felt so awkward b/c I had seen her since but I didn't know that I did that hahaha. Apparently I was smooth enough b/c she quit 3 jobs to apply to a job with me and was all over me.

 

[RicoADF]

I whispered to myself when a girl was bending over getting something from her backpack.
"Damn...nice ass"
When she got up and looked at me with a grin on her face I turned red.

I hope you started a conversation with her

 

[RicoADF]

*SNIP*
I've never wanted to punch a person in the face more in my entire life. But anyways, things get a bit worse after that so I'll leave it there.

Awwwwww, but it was just getting to the good part, I DEMAND you continue! lol

*Removed due to being irrelevant*

 

[Penguinness]

Oh, just remembered something.. but it wasn't exactly an embarrassing thing but it sure was the WRONG thing. So I was lying with my girlfriend in bed and I was trying to compliment the shape of her body but instead I blurted out "You're so... round". To which she immediately turned to the wall.

 

[TK421]

"Fuck Me"
There is some backstory to it though. I had just found out something that wasn't a good thing to find out (via txt message) and I was using the phrase "fuck me" as a synonym to dammit.