I must confess, my most "epic resignation" I ripped straight out of a movie.Vault101 said:
It was back in high school and I was working at a grocery store as a summer job. It was a REALLY crappy job with REALLY crappy managers, but it kept my dad from bitching at me the entire summer so it really had a nice "force labor camp" kinda feel to it.
Anyways, I'm working as a bagger when some disgustingly fat woman in one of those scooters our store offered for handicapped people (or in this case being too fat to walk). No big deal, I think, can't fit much into one of those scooters. Then her children come along wheeling in 3 shopping karts FILLED with groceries. The lady looks at me an in a disgruntled voice demands that I bag it double-paper inside of double-plastic...and to pack it light. I guess when your upper arm muscles have turned into gelatinous sacks of pudding it can be difficult to lift grocery bags. Whatever, it's my job so I'll frickin' do it.
I come to the produce portion of my half-hour sack'athon and I put a banana bunch and a cantaloupe into the same sack and WHOOPS! There goes WWIII! Things had been going smoothly with no complaints thus far, but now she flips her lid yelling about how impossibly heavy that sack will be for her. She even went so far as to say I was a terrible employee for going so slow (double paper inside of double plastic with the direction of "keeping it light" tends to hold up the process a wee bit). Despite the fact that to prove her point she tried - and succeeded - to pick up the offending sack, she still wanted to complain.
At that point, I did EXACTLY what Scarface in Half Baked did: I walked over to the "price-check" mic at the adjacent, closed check-out aisle, got on it and pointed to the fat lady "Fuck you," pointed at Manager #1 who was a dick "Fuck you," pointed to Manager #2 who was a **** "Fuck you", pointed to the one check-out clerk who was my best friend at the time "You're cool," pointed to the head manager as he came out of his office "And fuck you, I'm out!" Took off my apron and left.
