Most laughably absurd plot for a movie you've ever heard in your life?
- Thread starter Vrex360
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I honestly think this takes the cake.
Taken from wikipedia:
Taken from wikipedia:
The film follows the adventures of two comrades, Murat (Arkın) and Ali (Akkaya), whose ships crash on a desert planet following a space battle that is made up of footage from the actual Star Wars films as well as newsreel clips of both Soviet and American space rockets. While in the desert one of them says that perhaps it is a planet only populated by women, so the other man begins to do his whistle which he uses to attract women. However, he uses the wrong whistle, and they are then assaulted by skeletons on horseback. The pair then proceed to defeat the skeletons in hand-to-hand combat. The film's main villain then soon shows up and captures the heroes, bringing them to fight in his gladiatorial arena. The villain mentions that he was actually from Earth and is in reality a 1,000 year old wizard. He tries to defeat the Earth, but his attacks are always repelled by a shield of concentrated human brain molecules. The only way for him to bypass this otherwise impenetrable defense is to use a human brain to bring it down. The protagonists escape their captors and flee to a cave full of refugees who fled from the tyrannical rule of the villain. While there, Murat develops a romantic connection with the only woman there (Uçar), who is tasked with looking after the children. The scenes in which they are together often play music from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Zombie minions of the dark lord soon attack the cave, and several of the children killed and turn into zombies themselves. The three protagonists then flee the cave. Resurfacing at a local bar lifted directly from Star Wars (the Mos Eisley Cantina), the two men quickly manage to find themselves in a bar brawl that attracts the attention of the main villain who suddenly appears and captures Ali and Murat.
Then the wizard separates both comrades and subsequently tries to influence them to join him. He sends his queen to seduce Ali, while he orders Murat to be brought before him. He offers Murat the rule over Earth and stars if he would join him. He reveals that he possesses the power of the Earth's ancestry in the form of a golden brain and all he needs in order to conquer Earth, is the power of a real human brain. After Murat declines, the wizard shows him that he keeps the woman and the child captive. Enraged, Murat proceeds to fight the evil monsters and skeleton guardians. The noise makes Ali leave the woman and join the fight. The comrades are disabled by laser-armed guards, however, and put through several tortures by the wizard, but their will cannot be broken. Finally, the wizard puts Murat against a mighty monster on the arena to humiliate him. Murat, however, succeeds in defeating the monster, and flees the arena taking the woman and the child with him. Ali is left in captivity.
A mentor, Peyda, then informs Murat about a sword made by "the 13th clan" by melting a mountain thousands of "space years" ago. Shortly afterwards, Murat finds the large sword shaped like a lightning bolt in a cave defended by two golden ninjas who he quickly dispatches. Now renewed by the power of the sword, he sets out to free his friend from the underground cavern where the dark lord is holding him. Unfortunately Ali is killed soon thereafter. Grief-stricken, Murat decides the next logical step is to boil his golden sword and gold-like human brain in a large pot and forge them into a pair of gauntlets and boots. Now girded with magically-endowed gloves and super-jumping boots, he sets off to find the dark lord and avenge his friend's death. After fighting the many minions, he comes face-to-face with his nemesis and karate-chops him in half, shown by covering alternating halves of the camera lens. The film ends with a Star Wars-like ending speech where the watcher learns that human brain is the strongest weapon in the whole universe.
Then the wizard separates both comrades and subsequently tries to influence them to join him. He sends his queen to seduce Ali, while he orders Murat to be brought before him. He offers Murat the rule over Earth and stars if he would join him. He reveals that he possesses the power of the Earth's ancestry in the form of a golden brain and all he needs in order to conquer Earth, is the power of a real human brain. After Murat declines, the wizard shows him that he keeps the woman and the child captive. Enraged, Murat proceeds to fight the evil monsters and skeleton guardians. The noise makes Ali leave the woman and join the fight. The comrades are disabled by laser-armed guards, however, and put through several tortures by the wizard, but their will cannot be broken. Finally, the wizard puts Murat against a mighty monster on the arena to humiliate him. Murat, however, succeeds in defeating the monster, and flees the arena taking the woman and the child with him. Ali is left in captivity.
A mentor, Peyda, then informs Murat about a sword made by "the 13th clan" by melting a mountain thousands of "space years" ago. Shortly afterwards, Murat finds the large sword shaped like a lightning bolt in a cave defended by two golden ninjas who he quickly dispatches. Now renewed by the power of the sword, he sets out to free his friend from the underground cavern where the dark lord is holding him. Unfortunately Ali is killed soon thereafter. Grief-stricken, Murat decides the next logical step is to boil his golden sword and gold-like human brain in a large pot and forge them into a pair of gauntlets and boots. Now girded with magically-endowed gloves and super-jumping boots, he sets off to find the dark lord and avenge his friend's death. After fighting the many minions, he comes face-to-face with his nemesis and karate-chops him in half, shown by covering alternating halves of the camera lens. The film ends with a Star Wars-like ending speech where the watcher learns that human brain is the strongest weapon in the whole universe.
Well it was actually because Morgan Freeman told them to. You don't mess with the Freeman, he can set an army of penguins on you.Fanboy said:
Resident Evil: Extinction (Movie) and most of the saw movies.. i just watch those to see some people in awesome death traps and getting killed with lots of pain ^^
What about Grandma's boy? That movie's awesome. I'd have to say that "Pulse" is up there. Also, I agree with WolfLordAndy: Where did that terrorist go to terrorist school? Just blow the plane to eliminate your target. Or at the very least just silence the target with poison or a bullet. Simple as that. No, we have to go through the troubles of capturing exotic and unreasonably pissed off reptiles and hope they do their job on a planeRavingPenguin said:
I can't remember the movie but it was made in the late nineties/early two thousands but there was a movie that had the entire plot be the sun is going out lets send a spaceship out to relight it...wackiness ensues.
The movie starts with a profound misunderstanding or complete disregard for any science having anything to do with space or the sun, and ends with a romance/horror thing where the sun is basically the Jason of our solar system.
The movie starts with a profound misunderstanding or complete disregard for any science having anything to do with space or the sun, and ends with a romance/horror thing where the sun is basically the Jason of our solar system.
This. That plot was one of the most absurd and ridiculous plots I have ever seen. A loom telling people to kill other people in order to keep the world revolving. God, that movie was so bad....so, so so so bad.Fanboy said:
The One - The whole movie is based on the idea of multiple dimensions and was basically set up so Jet Li could fight Jet Li. Anyway Jet Li 1 (I forgot the characters name) has gone to all the different dimensions killing all the other Jet Lis (I thought there were infinite dimensions) and the more he kills the more powerfull he gets. The only Jet Li left is Jet Li 2 who lives in our dimension so Jet Li 1 tries to kill him so he can be invincible.
EDIT: Heres the plot summary from wikipedia, it makes even less sense than mine
A superhuman criminal named Yu-Law (Jet Li), once a member of the organization policing interdimensional travel (via detecting wormhole openings, which can be predicted like the weather), seeks to hunt down and kill variations of himself in alternate universes to absorb a common life force (which possibly has to do something with the string theory as it was mentioned in the movie by Evan Funsch) that connects them all. By killing his other selves, (becoming the last version of himself) and absorbing their power, he thinks he will become a god.
The only one who can stop him is the last of his alternate selves (MVC: MultiVerse Counterpart), Gabriel Law, who works in the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department in a near-image of our own universe (George W. Bush remained President, but had some policy differences such as a "Universal Health Care Plan") and, before the events of the movie, was unaware of the multiverse. In the attempt to kill Law, Yu-Law starts a fight where he is hiding in an airshaft. After shooting where they believed he was hiding, the Sheriff's Department attempts to move in, but Yu-Law busts through the metal and takes out the entire team, single handedly. He then has to flee on foot when more troops move in. He is seen "Doing fifty!" running down the streets from the police. In the end, Law was the only one who could keep up with him, not to mention barely jumping the tall fence. Law then sees Yu-Law who is identical to him in appearance, and Yu-Law says "The good news is, you're not crazy." Law is assisted by a member of the Multiverse Authority that Yu-Law once worked for, with the concern that if only one version of Yu-Law is left there will be catastrophic results for the entire multiverse.
EDIT: Heres the plot summary from wikipedia, it makes even less sense than mine
A superhuman criminal named Yu-Law (Jet Li), once a member of the organization policing interdimensional travel (via detecting wormhole openings, which can be predicted like the weather), seeks to hunt down and kill variations of himself in alternate universes to absorb a common life force (which possibly has to do something with the string theory as it was mentioned in the movie by Evan Funsch) that connects them all. By killing his other selves, (becoming the last version of himself) and absorbing their power, he thinks he will become a god.
The only one who can stop him is the last of his alternate selves (MVC: MultiVerse Counterpart), Gabriel Law, who works in the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department in a near-image of our own universe (George W. Bush remained President, but had some policy differences such as a "Universal Health Care Plan") and, before the events of the movie, was unaware of the multiverse. In the attempt to kill Law, Yu-Law starts a fight where he is hiding in an airshaft. After shooting where they believed he was hiding, the Sheriff's Department attempts to move in, but Yu-Law busts through the metal and takes out the entire team, single handedly. He then has to flee on foot when more troops move in. He is seen "Doing fifty!" running down the streets from the police. In the end, Law was the only one who could keep up with him, not to mention barely jumping the tall fence. Law then sees Yu-Law who is identical to him in appearance, and Yu-Law says "The good news is, you're not crazy." Law is assisted by a member of the Multiverse Authority that Yu-Law once worked for, with the concern that if only one version of Yu-Law is left there will be catastrophic results for the entire multiverse.
I figured it was only a matter of time before someone made a joke like that.Thanatos34 said:What did the Thespians do? A song and dance number?Anachronism said:
It's either Thespians or Thesbians; I couldn't remember which. Not that it makes much difference.