Most laughably absurd plot for a movie you've ever heard in your life?

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Lord RPGs

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Citizen.Erased said:
Teeth. Personally never seen the movie (and possibly never want to either), but when my friend went 'yeah, vagina with teeth' I knew it was some serious shit.
That sounds suspiciously like Wicked City.

In other news, the films "Gonad the Barbarian", "Odin" and "X" all have little to no comprehensible plot. I've only seen X, but from what I've heard of the others... Well, who needs common sense? Or a coherent plot? Those don't.
 

whiskey_hicks

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It's weird because the most absurd plot I've ever heard was still a good movie.

It was called "Aachi and Ssipak", it was an animated film from South Korea.

Basically the government rewards people for taking a dump (which is now used as an alternative fuel source) by giving them highly addictive popsicles. Two common thugs (the titular characters) find a starlet whose dump produces several hundreds of popsicles which they then sell for money.

Only now they are running from both the law and a group of crazy blue things in diapers called "The Diaper Gang".

Absurd premise, awesome movie.
 

dwightsteel

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stinkychops said:
dwightsteel said:
stinkychops said:
dwightsteel said:
stinkychops said:
Um, well I think that IronMan had a terrible plot. There wasn't a single part in the movie that could be explained with logic, yet the movie tried so hard.
So, I'm not flaming you, because I don't want to get suspended again, but explain yourself. The fact that you said, and I quote, "There wasn't a single part in the movie that could be explained with logic" feels like a complete cop out. Considering how many people love this movie, I think you owe it to us to explain that statement with some detail, unless you're content to be the schmuck who claims that Iron Man made no sense with absolutely nothing to back up your statement.
Okay buddy,
I'm sorry but I was too tired to go through an hour and a half of bad logic.

To begin with, how did he build a suit with flamethrowers, which was impenetrable to armor-piercing rounds. It then burst open from impact with the ground, leaving him unharmed. The very fact he suffered no injury from the bullets. He then made it home, I forget how. Went and built one, which he flew no problem sraight away. The othe rguy, makes a suit 10x better from the plans of the old one. He crushes ironmans head like it was foil, but then can't crush ironman. Why was the convoy flown into the middle of hostile territory? So that it could then drive out of it? None of it made any sense, come on man.
I hate doing this because it makes me look like a massive nerd, but here goes.
First point: Flamethrowers. He was given a massive stock of munitions to play with to build his missile. Two engineering geniuses (which the movie implied they were) would have no problem building a flame thrower with fuel (which they'd need to power the rocket) and other basic supplies.
Your second point: first suit being impenetrable to armor piercing rounds. Firstly, they never once said or even implied that they were using armor piercing rounds. They lived in a poor country, and it's not like that terrorist cell was well funded. Who's to say they had such bullets? If they did, who's to say that the material used to construct the Mach 1 wasn't outfitted with better alloys to combat that very problem? It's not an unreasonable assumption considering Stark Enterprises was known in the movie to be on the forefront of munitions and they built the suit with those materials.
Your third/fourth point: the suit cracked open upon impact with the ground, and Tony Stark was mysteriously unharmed. High altitude stress upon the armor can easily explain that, but your second part of that point has merit. It is unlikely that he would have survived that fall, especially unharmed, but that is where the term "suspension of disbelief" comes in to play. If Spielberg can reasonably expect an audience to believe Indiana Jones would survive a nuclear explosion in a lead lined refrigerator, then Jon Favreau should be given at least a little latitude on this point. Hey, if Chev Chelios can survive a fall from a helicopter, then I'd say Tony Stark should be able to fall a less perilous fall in the desert with soft sand to cushion his fall. He made it home when a search party found him, not an entirely unlikely scenario.

Third point: his Mach 2 outfit could fly right away. Not necessarily true. There was a sequence where he was testing his flight capabilities before he put them in the suit. In one of said tests, he is quite unsuccessful. With proper navigation software (which he had in the suit), his test flight went relatively successfully. If you're willing to accept that Iron Man could ever fly in this movie, then your whole point is moot. And if not, I point back to my "suspension of disbelief" point. It's a superhero movie, it's not meant to be grounded in absolute logic.

Fourth Point: The Iron Monger armor Obidiah built being better than Starks. The difference here was addressed in the movie and actually quite a strong part of the subtext. Could Stark have built the suit the way that Stane did? Of course he could. He built the mini ARC generator that powered the suit, that Stane needed to steal. But Stark built his suit to fix a problem he felt he created and to help people. It was thus streamlined and built to be as non-lethal as he could, without limiting his ability to incapacitate other war machines. Stane on the other hand built his suit to be the ultimate war weapon. Thus it was bigger with more intense weaponry. This isn't a matter of logic, but philosophy. As for not being able to crush tony, he wasn't trying to. He was toying with him, trying to hurt him before he killed him.

Fifth Point: the Convoy. I don't suppose it occurred to you that Stane was deliberately helping the enemy?

Finally, there isn't a movie made that holds up to absolute logical scrutiny. Especially in the genre of Superhero flicks. Iron Man did WAY better then most. The fact is that most of your points are mere nitpicks, and yet you can amazingly use them to discredit the whole movie, claiming it's illogical. If logic is all your care about (and I'm seriously starting to wonder), then you best be considering the irony of your own statement.
You missed a few of my points but thats fine. I thought the movie was decent, as in better than most, so don't get me wrong.
Thsi thread isn't about wether a movie is good or not, it's about wether it has an absurd plot.
I disagree with most your points but thats fine.

Good job, most people would have simply sworn at me.
If I missed any points, then sorry. I tried to go down your list as best as possible. You laid a claim that says nothing in that movie could be explained with logic. I don't honestly know which points I missed, but for most of what I said, it isn't opinion. Your whole point is dictated by the level of absurdity and the absence of logic, but the problem is that while I found one point in your list that was legitimately completely absent of logic, the rest of them to a degree could fit well into the parameters of logical progression based on the standard of logic they set up at the beginning of the movie. If we were talking about the same sets of logic as it applies to reality, then just about every action movie ever made would be equally if not more illogical, but at least I'd be in more agreement with you. I'm mostly just curious why you chose to say that this movie was absurd and illogical after claiming that you at least thought it was decent. If you would have merely disliked the movie, I would have had nothing to argue with you about, because personal opinions aren't debatable. Regardless, most of your points are based either in assumptive conclusions with no foundations or a lack of knowledge of the events of the movie.
 

DeAvatar

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an Usurper rises a lich, and both take over the kingdom. The sole heir escapes after watching his family killed, and grows up to become a warrior.
and he has a sword...
that shoots shards of itself.
the movie? The Sword and the Sorcerer
 

Hippobatman

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Jun 18, 2008
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carnkhan4 said:
Any film that can be described in less than 3 words.
Snakes and plane. There, done, complete summary.

I mean, come on. Our target's on a plane. Let's kill him with snakes!
 

TwistedEllipses

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Chapper said:
carnkhan4 said:
Any film that can be described in less than 3 words.
Snakes and plane. There, done, complete summary.

I mean, come on. Our target's on a plane. Let's kill him with snakes!
"That way it'll look like suicide!" - why not just blow up the plane or get someone to hijack it and crash it?
 

FranzTyphid

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Two geeks, one makes a time machine goes back in time to see jesus meet him
kill him by accident
pretend to be him
half way through meet Brian
What's that mr. Pegg an oscar for me!
 

Nmil-ek

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Ok guys picture this, we have these college kids only there not normal college kids there walking cliches. And we have this bad game license so we spurce scenes from 90s graphics into the movie, and everytime someone dies we have this annoying GAME OVER man! effect awsome huh? BUT WAIT the kids are going to the ultimate rave party only its not in a city like youd expect no, no we dont need logic its on a deserted island wooooo! Oh and to get to the island they hitch a ride from a guy called captain kirk *get it nudge* though hes also a weapon smuggaler for eh, no reason. Then we have a house full of zombies! Oh god im a genious and lots of slow mo and a fog machine and some ugly chick getting her funbags out TWICE!

It will be a masterpiece in the making.
 

new_age_reject

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Korolev said:
Turkish star wars..... I'm not sure what the real name of it is, but google "turkish star wars" and you should be able to watch the whole thing on Google Video...... does it have a plot? I mean, even though I couldn't understand the language, there's no way that film had a coherent plot.

Runner up would be Eraserhead, but that film doesn't count because I think it doesn't really have a "plot".
Eraserhead is legend!
It has a plot... it just follows it very loosely :p
I'd say Rabbits is more crazy anyway.
 

Fallingwater

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Fanusc101 said:
The crank series. I'm not really sure how a man can survive a fall from a helicopter and then get his heart replaced by a battery.
Crank, like Shoot'em up and several others, is a movie that requires you to set your realism/sense expectations all the way down. In my book this makes them half-decent, the type of movie you see when you'd rather not flip the power switch to the higher areas of your brain.

I'll go with Matrix Revolutions. The plot (which was perfect in the first movie) had already started to creak with Reloaded, but the third movie really made a mess of the whole thing.

Edit: oh wait, forgot about The house of flying daggers. It's an unending series of WTF moments, ending in one of the most ridiculous scenes I've ever seen, in which seasons change while the main characters fight.
 

Fallingwater

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pdgeorge said:
Doom, the movie.

"Ok... we're making a movie about a video game. This game is about scientists who accidently open up a portal to hell and demons break free into our dimension and one soldier fights his way through hell and kills satan"
"what was that? I wasn't listening. All I heard was something about genetic modification that could be affected by a genome that determines if your good or evil"

What... the.... hell...
To tell you the truth, I never liked the whole hell thing in the Doom franchise. Genetic screwups turn my crank a lot more than mystical demons.
That said, the movie did suck.
 

Utarefson

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Apr 15, 2009
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tharwen said:
300

Spartans go to persia. Spartans kill persians. Spartan woman has sex. Spartans die. More Spartans come. End.
Spartan woman has sex?More Spartans come?
So the Halo movie will be the sequel?
 

Mikaze

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Fanboy said:
'Wanted' was a terrible movie, with probably the worst plot-to-budget ratio I can think of: A secret guild of assassins, who can break the laws of physics, kill people because a loom tells them to. Really? A loom?
But it's a magical loom...ok, can't keep straight face any more. Agreed though, that premise was fucked up, and they didn't even do that much physics-breaking in the film, I was disappointed.

~Mikaze~
 

aww yea

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stinkychops said:
Um, well I think that IronMan had a terrible plot. There wasn't a single part in the movie that could be explained with logic, yet the movie tried so hard.
iron man was amazing! your not a true believer

aye

anyone thats ever seen the wind that blows the barely knows what a bad movie is

nothing can compare.
 

Zombie_Fish

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Tattaglia said:
Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus.

...

Wait, that's full of win! A massive shark eating a plane in midair is gold, Jerry! Pure gold! *fires guns into the air*
That looks so awesome!

Anyway, I'd have to say Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Crystal Skull. Blaming it all on aliens just seemed so half assed as if they couldn't think of anything else.