Most laughably absurd plot for a movie you've ever heard in your life?

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Vigormortis

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You...may have a point there. That film was fan-fucking-tastic. Easily one of the best films I've seen a l-o-n-g time.
 

P.Tsunami

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Vigormortis said:
You...may have a point there. That film was fan-fucking-tastic. Easily one of the best films I've seen a l-o-n-g time.
I agree. I haven't been that astounded after leaving a cinema in eleven years (The Matrix, American Beauty).

But this thread is not about good movies! I therefore present North. A successful child from a successful, if disfynctional family petitions a court to legally emancipate him and succeeds. Then he goes around the world, meeting tons of embarassing and offensive stereotypes, surviving attempted assassinations ordered by a ten-year-old media mogul, and finally realizes that he's better off at home.
 

Fraught

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P.Tsunami said:
Fraught said:
Only that the movie's budget was 20,000,000$, and the gross revenue it garnered was 34,816,824$. That seems like a success for the infamous duo Friedberg & Seltzer (though a lot smaller than their previous movies, yeah).
Well, while I wouldn't call that bombing, and while I realize this sounds absurd, an income shy of fifteen million dollars is very modest for Hollywood standards. For comparison, the other movies in the same "series" regularly draws in $50-60 million dollars, when the budget has been subtracted. Keep in mind that it's not about breaking even, or making a bit of money. It's about making more money than the movie they passed on to do Disaster Movie. Compared to what it should've been, the movie did perform unsuccessfully. Movie revenues are very much relative.
Well, look at the "Best and Worst movies with Angelina Jolie" on MetaCritic. She's a well-known actress, but look at the profits (or should I say losses) that her movies have got.

Either way, getting only $15 million in profit for one movie won't put these guys out of work. All their other movies have gotten $50 million in profits etc, though it seems that their profits have decreased and decreased over time, so maybe they've reconsidered?

And by the way, have they even announced a new movie?
 

P.Tsunami

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Fraught said:
Well, look at the "Best and Worst movies with Angelina Jolie" on MetaCritic. She's a well-known actress, but look at the profits (or should I say losses) that her movies have got.

Either way, getting only $15 million in profit for one movie won't put these guys out of work. All their other movies have gotten $50 million in profits etc, though it seems that their profits have decreased and decreased over time, so maybe they've reconsidered?

And by the way, have they even announced a new movie?
I agree that it's not a career ender by any means. I'm not going to make that claim, cause that would be absurd. Hollywood is a bit more forgiving than you'd think. M. Night Shyamalan is still making movies, even though he brings in less and less over the years. It fluctuates a bit, but there's a very clear downward trend: The Sixth Sense made 630 million. His next three made between 140-300 million. Lady in the Water -lost- 2 million. Avatar:TLA has yet to recuperate its budget. Currently, it's at a negative 128 million. -That- is a showstopper, and I wouldn't be surprised if M. Night may have trouble finding work after this. The Disaster Movie guys are probably fine, although if they continue releasing films that perform poorly by Hollywood standards, Tinseltown might very well find some other guys to release their dumbed down parody movies.

As for upcoming films, their new film is called Vampires Suck; stunning creativity in the naming department, for their standards. It opens in August.


Edit: I checked out the Metacritic page you recommended. Interesting reading, but all it really tells us it that a single actress, no matter her star power, can rarely make or break a movie on her own. It means Jolie has made some bad casting calls, but probably no more.
 

Ironic Pirate

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Queen Michael said:
Kpt._Rob said:
Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Remember, Michael Myers, the killer in all the Halloween movies? Well he isn't in Halloween III. Why? Well they killed him off in 2, only to bring him back in 4, so what'd you get with Season of the Witch? Pure bad plot gold. To give a brief summary, a guy who looks like he's attended one too many Magnum P.I. conventions teams up with some girl he hasn't ever met before, and they set off to solve the mystery of the girl's father's death. Turns out that an Irish toy company staffed by androids stole part of stonehenge, this was hooked up to a computer and used to produce cursed Halloween masks. Then on Halloween they're going to broadcast a special signal on the air, and any kid who is wearing their mask while the signal goes out will have their head melted, and snakes and bugs will come out of the ooze.

... You can't make this kind of shit up.
Except the writers clearly did...
Two writers, I think. Mr Cannabis and Mr Shroom.
 

Fraught

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P.Tsunami said:
As for upcoming films, their new film is called Vampires Suck; stunning creativity in the naming department, for their standards. It opens in August.
Pffthahhahah. Vampires Suck? Oh God...

...anyway, the tagline is so ironic. "From the Guys Who Couldn't Sit Through Another Vampire Movie". Ironic considering I cannot sit through their dismal shit.

Vigormortis said:
Anything by Uwe Boll, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, or just about 95% of all the films to come out in the past 3 decades. Seriously, where the hell did good writing, original concepts, lovable characters, and artistic/directorial skill go?

'and my friends wonder why I love watching old films so much....
Past 3 decades? Where did they go? You're incredibly delusional. A lot of the best movies of all time have been made in the last 3 decades.
 

P.Tsunami

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Fraught said:
P.Tsunami said:
As for upcoming films, their new film is called Vampires Suck; stunning creativity in the naming department, for their standards. It opens in August.
Pffthahhahah. Vampires Sucks? Oh God...

...anyway, the Tagline is so ironic. "From the Guys Who Couldn't Sit Through Another Vampire Movie". Ironic considering I cannot sit through their dismal shit.
I'm quite satisfied to say I haven't watched a single of their movies since ... since... wait, they didn't direct Scary Movie? Then I haven't watched a single of their movies. Somehow I suspect I'm not missing out.
 

TheAceTheOne

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Avatar. I know people say it's amazing, and it sure does look good, but the story really just didn't do it for me. Good looks don't really make a movie good. Some older movies seem to me to be better than newer ones because their story, not because their special effects and graphics and eye candy.
 

Sronpop

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Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, best plot ever, one of my fav movies of all time. The plot is just Hunter S. Thompson and his 'attorney' are in Vegas to cover a race, but that's only about 10 mins of the film. The real plot is that they just brought a suitcase of every drug imaginable and then go wild. Its amazing. There is barely a conclusion. Its amazing, its just experience with drug after drug, until they basically just take them all.

Best film ever.
 

Alex Cowan

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A film called Six String Samurai - completely real, but sounds crazy....listen...

There was a nuclear holocaust, and now Elvis Presley is King of Las Vegas. But when he dies, only a mysterious badass who looks suspiciously like Buddy Holly can go to Vegas and take his crown, by playing rockabilly music and using a Samurai sword stashed inside his guitar. Yeah. But wait, there's more. He is being stalked on his mission by Death, who looks suspiciously like Slash, who is trying to complete his collection of guitar picks.

Yeah.


That actually got made.
 

Nannernade

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Awesome nobody has said it yet, the worst plot for the movie was Knowing, they just sliced things together here's a few spoilers just incase some people haven't seen the movie but want to.

After they get the paper with all of the numbers written on it he just walks by it and goes hmm... picks it up and out of all of the numbers he finds the 9/11 ones out of all of the numbers? Who would have guessed? And then the plane scene where he is looking at the paper then he just randomly looks at his GPS and goes ahaa! I knew it the remaining numbers are coordinates!

God that was a terrible movie...