Probably The Terminal. If you watch it, you cant help but love the guy because of the situation hes in, but deep down u know its a horrible movie
Movies you know are awful, but you love anyway.
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Steven Segal movies. Yes, the shame of watching a Steven Segal movie is great. But I practise Aikido, he's like Jackie Chan who doesn't give a crap.
I like the one where he is someone with a mysterious past and a normal life. But one day someone took that life from him, and now he doesn't have anything to lose, so he beats the shit out of all the bad guys.
Wait...
I like the one where he is someone with a mysterious past and a normal life. But one day someone took that life from him, and now he doesn't have anything to lose, so he beats the shit out of all the bad guys.
Wait...
Whoever told you Kung Pow was a bad movie needs to be punched. Hard. That movie is hilarious, and has so many quotes that can be recited out of context.MakerOfRoads said:
Do not deny the power of the almighty Tonguey.
Oh man, I have a LOT of these...here's a few...I'll spoiler 'em all so if you want to read the comments on a particular film you don't have to plow through ALL of my long-winded crap.
Return Of The Killer Tomatoes. Product Placement jokes, random cowboy vs ninja vs Muammar Gaddafi (well...sort of) fight, John Astin hamming it up (as usual) as a mad scientist with his assistant Igor (who looks like, and wants to be, a TV news anchor), George Clooney...in full sarcasm-overload mode...in his second big-screen appearance (before anybody knew who the hell George Clooney was), brilliant real-world advice (never put peanut butter and gummi bears on the same pizza), and the ultra-cute Karen Mistal as Tara the tomato. No, I don't mean that as slang, she's really a tomato. Also, a brief appearance by then-Playboy Playmate / soon-after-to-be hardcore pornstar Teri Weigel who somehow manages to keep enough of her clothes on to keep the movie rated PG-13. I can't help it, I LOVE this movie.
Girlfriend From Hell. Basic plot: The devil is being hunted by a sex-obsessed God-employed 'chaser,' and possesses the body of a shy, mousy girl, turning her into a hard-partying, soul-sucking wanton lunatic. Breaks cardinal rule of movies #1, namely basically nothing happens in the first fifteen minutes. But then once the devil takes over, things really start to roll. What've we got here? A 'hero' who looks like Skippy from 'Family Ties' (Dana Ashbrook, who would later go on to be a star in the Twin Peaks series), has an overcoat which seems to contain at least one of everything in the known universe, and keeps coming out with great lines like "Why can't I find a girl who's interested in just ME? And SEX?" and "I've met God. He's shorter in person." Then there's this superlative line from the villainess: "Well, I suppose I should go hunt them down one by one and kill them - God, this is getting so boring!" And its followup: "You hoo... People, it's me! I'm coming to get you so get really, really scared!" A restaurant where the food attacks the customers. And the real selling point...nuns with automatic weapons and rocket launchers!
Trick Or Treat. The 1986 movie, not any other with the same title. This time is really IS Skippy from Family Ties as the 'hero,' but let's face it, you don't watch this for the hero. You watch this for Tony Fields (it could've been...and SHOULD'VE been...Blackie Lawless, but Blackie declined the invitation to audition. Shame too - he would've been perfect) as Sammi Curr, the Satanism-fueled, lightning-throwing, resurrected-by-playing-a-record-backwards metal rocker. Sure, it's an insanely ridiculous 'horror' film that was trying to play off the panic of the moment - namely "satanic heavy metal music is going to destroy our children" - but it also happens to have one of the best damn soundtracks ever if you're a metalhead like me. These days you might find it in a bargain bin and be confused by the fact they market it with big pictures of both Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne on the cover...both of them do make cameos in the film, but neither is on-screen for more than a couple minutes.
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins. Chuin. That is all. Nothing else in this film matters. Sure, Fred Ward does a decent job as the hero. Sure, it's got Wilford "DIABETES" Brimley as a secret agent. Sure, it's got Captain Janeway as an army major. Sure, it's got a ridiculous plot and it's a silly action film. None of that is what makes this movie awesome beyond belief. Joel Grey as Chuin...THAT makes this movie awesome beyond belief. SOOOO many great lines. "You move like pregnant yak!" "I can see the deadly hamburger has done its evil work." "It is called fast food because it speeds you to the grave." "You drive like a monkey in heat." "The trained mind does not need a watch. Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss." And of course..."I reloaded." The comedic timing between Ward and Grey in many of the scenes is simply fantastic.
Student Bodies. "This motion picture is based on an actual incident. Last year, 26 horror films were released...none of them lost money." So says the opening title card, and we're off for a mostly-brilliant (but badly flawed by the bizarre ending) little 1981 film that parodies slasher films in the style of Airplane. What does this film feature? A fantastic 'killer' in The Breather...who seems to always be on the other end of the phone no matter who picks it up and where...who murders teenage victims with such deadly weapons as paper clips, a horsehead bookend, a chalkboard eraser, and an eggplant...and who the audience frequently hears some great commentary from ("Why do they always run away? It's the galoshes, isn't it? Why do I wear them? It isn't even raining!"). The best American football penalty call ever: "Dead bodies on field, ten yard penalty." An on-screen running body count. An amazingly tall, ridiculously skinny, and impossibly-flexible 'slightly off in the head janitor' character played by a guy known only as "The Stick" (for very good reason). And the best justification for an R Rating ever...you'd have to see it to understand. The film completely falls apart in the third act, but for the first hour or so it is fantastic stuff.
There's Nothing Out There. So, here's the setup: seven teenagers go off to a house by a pond (NOT a camp by a lake, as later emphasized) for spring break. A dangerous alien creature lands nearby and starts picking them off one by one. One of the seven just happens to have seen every single horror film ever made - probably several times over - and knows all the tropes of the genre, consistently telling everybody that they're in danger and trying to tell them how to survive it - but of course no one listens to him. "Oh, a guy who knows all the horror film cliches, now THAT'S original," you're saying, "obviously, these guys are just ripping off Scream!" Yeah, except...this film is from 1992, and Scream didn't come out until four years later. Mike, the aforementioned guy who's seen all the horror films, is the reason to watch this movie - his commentary on the situations at hand is simply hilarious. For example: "We don't know anything about this creature other than it, like everyone else, hates a mouth full of shaving cream." "Is someone paying you to stand by an open window? There are some razor blades in the corner you can play with if you like." "Look, don't you know what just happened? Those kids were born to be murder victims." The traditional 'cat scare' happens, Mike looks up at the ceiling where it dropped in from: "Where did it come from? There's nothing here but ceiling! I love how these animals just fall out of nowhere, right into your hands. What do they do, just hang up there by their claws and wait for people to pass by?"
Lik Wong, a.k.a. Riki-Oh: The Story Of Ricky The original title sounds more like it should be a different sort of film, doesn't it? Absolutely absurd over-the-top gory 'martial arts' film. The backstory, as revealed by flashbacks: Riki's girlfriend is murdered by thugs, so he hunts them down and kills them in revenge. Naturally, this doesn't sit well with the law, so they arrest him and put him in a privatized, corrupted prison, where he proceeds to start to stand up for those who are bullied and abused by the people in power...and this "standing up for them" usually involves him utterly destroying his opponents in blood-soaked mayhem. Without a doubt, one of the greatest moments of cinema has to be when Riki is fighting one of the leaders of the gang who control the prison: the gang leader pulls out a knife, slits open his own abdomen, PULLS OUT HIS OWN INTESTINES, AND TRIES TO STRANGLE RIKI WITH THEM!
Starcrash. Holy crap, where to begin. An Italian Star Wars ripoff with incredibly bad model spaceships that look like they were glued together from various model kits. A robot with a strong Southern drawl. Christopher Plummer somehow managing to give gravitas to the utterly awful lines he's given to say ("Imperial Flagship, halt the flow of time!"). Spaceships firing torpedoes...which do not explode but actually have soldiers inside them who jump out of the torpedoes and start shooting people after they crash through windows (in deep space...amazingly, breaking said windows does not cause explosive decompression). The impossibly-hot Caroline Munro running around the galaxy in ridiculously skimpy outfits. And then totally-unknown David Hasselhoff in his second big-screen role...wielding a lightsaber. It's a Z-lister to be sure, but...Caroline Munro in skimpy outfits + The Hoff wielding a lightsaber = Awesome!
Dunyayı Kurtaran Adam - translated, "The Man Who Saves The World," but better known as "The Turkish Star Wars." Not really because it rips off the plot from Star Wars, but because it uses actual footage from Star Wars in some of its scenes...not to mention it also steals various musical themes from all sorts of movies including Raiders of the Lost Ark and Flash Gordon. It's in Turkish, and I don't have a subtitled version...and I don't want one, because it's way, WAY funnier when you have absolutely no idea what in the hell is going on. A monster made out of carpet with tinsel hanging from its fingertips! A robot that looks like somebody glued a Radio Shack revolving 'police light' to the top of an upside-down trash can! Monsters who look like the cast of Fraggle Rock on crack! "Fire" sound effects made by crinkling cellophane and "nunchuck" sound effects made by some guy actually saying "PSHEW-SHEW-SHEW-SHEW-SHEW!" The greatest action sequence in the history of mankind (small part of said action sequence: hero is being attacked by two mummies. Don't ask, just go with it. One tries to grab him from behind...hero reaches behind his back, grabs the mummy's head and rips it off, but the mummy continues to stagger around, so the hero kicks him in the groin, then hurls the head at the other mummy...and it EXPLODES!) Training montage featuring Stooge-slapping boulders, jumping around with paper-mache...oops, sorry, I mean REALLY HEAVY AND REAL...rocks tied to the ankles, kicking rocks like soccer balls (except the rocks explode on impact. No I don't mean shatter, I mean they EXPLODE), and karate-chopping boulders in half while making an "I'M EXTREMELY CONSTIPATED" face! And amazingly, it's NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A COMEDY!
Agreed, but it's amazing in a "Big Trouble in Little China" kind of way. I.E. the "so bad it's good" kind of way.Triangulon said:Demolition Man is AMAZING!!!AvsJoe said:
[HEADING=2]2 *VERY* guilty pleasures of mine.[/HEADING]
By any chance do you know how to use the seashells?
Edge of Darkness. It fails as a conspiracy thriller so badly, it turns into a comedy. Imagine, if you will, Mel Gibson attempting to kill someone by pouring radioactive milk in their face.
Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.tellmeimaninja said:
Yes.
Every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie that is not Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgement Day, or Predator
Watch one of his movies, any single one of them, and remind yourself This man is the governor of a state .
Watch one of his movies, any single one of them, and remind yourself This man is the governor of a state .
