My Bad jokes reserve is running low,

[Dawn Patrol]

What's worse than a broken nail? Two broken nails.

What's worse than two broken nails? 9/11.

What's worse than 9/11. Three broken nails.

 

[Dawn Patrol]

A pirate walks into a bar.

He says, "بيرة من فضلك."

 

[lacktheknack]

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Germans are efficient and not very funny.

German comedy is no laughing matter.

...

They laughed at me when I said I was going to be a comedian.
Well who's laughing now?!

Just you, sadly.

Well done there. You took any subtlety that joke had and threw it away. Good job.

I wanted him to know that I caught the joke and that someone loves him! D:

 

[Dawn Patrol]

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Germans are efficient and not very funny.

German comedy is no laughing matter.

...

They laughed at me when I said I was going to be a comedian.
Well who's laughing now?!

Just you, sadly.

Well done there. You took any subtlety that joke had and threw it away. Good job.

I wanted him to know that I caught the joke and that someone loves him! D:

You show your fondness for jokes by explaining them?

"A man walks into a bar. Ow."

"It is funny because the word bar is a homonym. You expect the joke to be about a man entering a drinking facility but he is actually talking about hurting himself by walking into the other kind of bar."

You must be a hoot at parties. I see you take the Mike Myers approach to joke telling.

 

[Colour Scientist]

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Germans are efficient and not very funny.

German comedy is no laughing matter.

...

They laughed at me when I said I was going to be a comedian.
Well who's laughing now?!

Probably not the Germans.

 

[Exmigrant]

Then they are. Simple.

Jokes can offend. It doesn't mean they shouldn't be told. If boundaries aren't getting pushed then we're left with the same old crap.

Anyone could find any joke offensive. "Why did the chicken cross the road." "Not cool man, my chicken got hit by a bus yesterday." If we don't tell a joke because it might offend someone, we'll eventually have no jokes left. And who the hell would want to live in that world?

Theres truth there, but there are also boundaries to that truth, for i too know some jokes that even i feel bad telling. They make certain friends laugh and others just glare at me as if disgusted. So kinda like you said it all depends on the audience. here however, not knowing the audience i feel the ground rules about no dead babies and limited racism, or atleast a disclaimer warning would be appreciated

 

[Purple Shrimp]

what's brown and sounds like a bell?

dunngggggggg

 

[lacktheknack]

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Germans are efficient and not very funny.

German comedy is no laughing matter.

...

They laughed at me when I said I was going to be a comedian.
Well who's laughing now?!

Just you, sadly.

Well done there. You took any subtlety that joke had and threw it away. Good job.

I wanted him to know that I caught the joke and that someone loves him! D:

You show your fondness for jokes by explaining them?

"A man walks into a bar. Ow."

"It is funny because the word bar is a homonym. You expect the joke to be about a man entering a drinking facility but he is actually talking about hurting himself by walking into the other kind of bar."

You must be a hoot at parties. I see you take the Mike Myers approach to joke telling.

Wat. Most people wouldn't see that I explained the joke unless they looked close (and probably already got it).

Deadpan, man. Deadpan.

Anyways, this is kinda silly to get into a jab war over anyways.

 

[Odbarc]

Did you guys hear about the earthquake in mexico?
It caused $3 million worth of improvements.

I like this. I'm stealing it.

 

[Dawn Patrol]

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Germans are efficient and not very funny.

German comedy is no laughing matter.

...

They laughed at me when I said I was going to be a comedian.
Well who's laughing now?!

Just you, sadly.

Well done there. You took any subtlety that joke had and threw it away. Good job.

I wanted him to know that I caught the joke and that someone loves him! D:

You show your fondness for jokes by explaining them?

"A man walks into a bar. Ow."

"It is funny because the word bar is a homonym. You expect the joke to be about a man entering a drinking facility but he is actually talking about hurting himself by walking into the other kind of bar."

You must be a hoot at parties. I see you take the Mike Myers approach to joke telling.

Wat. Most people wouldn't see that I explained the joke unless they looked close (and probably already got it).

Deadpan, man. Deadpan.

Anyways, this is kinda silly to get into a jab war over anyways.

There was no need to explain the joke in the first place though. If anything you made it less funny.

Surely you know explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. Nobody's that interested and it dies as a result.

 

[LarenzoAOG]

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Germans are efficient and not very funny.

I want to give you a medal so badly right now, I tip my hat to you.

 

[Exmigrant]

snip

"It is funny because the word bar is a homonym. You expect the joke to be about a man entering a drinking facility but he is actually talking about hurting himself by walking into the other kind of bar."

You must be a hoot at parties. I see you take the Mike Myers approach to joke telling.

Ease up a bit man, I created this forum to get a few laughs, not to have others ridiculed. So just read a few and laugh, if you dont find them funny, no one is forcing you to stay here.

 

[Shirokurou]

An Englishman, a German and a Frenchmen walk into bar...

The Bartender: Is this some kind of joke?

 

[bruggs]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

 

[Fbuh]

What do you call a million Asians jumping off a cliff?

Spoiler

Clean Up Australia Day

-_- Not funny...and I'm not even an Asian person living in Australia


What's the difference between a Republican and a Democrat?

Spoiler

They are two different political groups, both of which represent varying ideals for the betterment of the United States of America.

 

[Dawn Patrol]

snip

"It is funny because the word bar is a homonym. You expect the joke to be about a man entering a drinking facility but he is actually talking about hurting himself by walking into the other kind of bar."

You must be a hoot at parties. I see you take the Mike Myers approach to joke telling.

Ease up a bit man, I created this forum to get a few laughs, not to have others ridiculed. So just read a few and laugh, if you dont find them funny, no one is forcing you to stay here.

I'm only pointing out why he shouldn't do what he's doing.

And I don't mean to sound patronizing (that means acting superior by the way) but it's a thread not a forum.

 

[badgersprite]

Your mother is so fat she has to wear large clothing.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

A troll walks into a bar. The bar goes owch.

 

[willsham45]

A Scotsman, Welshman and Englishman get caught behind enemy lines all get commended to death but allowed one last request before they get shot.
The Scotsman asks for a 100 man pipe band to play law of the high lands before he is shot.
The Welshman asks for a 100 man choir to sing bread of heaven before he is shot.
The Englishman cries out for love of god shoot me first.