Crystalite said:
Oh, seriously?
He called you a ******?
What about asking him, if he did not have any real insult for you?
Last time I looked, beeing homosexual was not a character fault -.-
Best thing you can do: do not be insulted!
As for considering violence: That is always pathetic. Using physical force to a verbal insult is admiting (and showing) utter defeat.
It's like calling someone a ******... it's the connotation, not the literal meaning.
****** implies more than just a homosexual, but ALL the negative gay stereotypes, just like when those KKK-racist spout the N-word they call on all the negative black connotations, you know them all. And with both of these there is the implied threat of lynching. Certain parts of the united states African Americans have been targeted for murderous attacks by mob, spurred by by dehumanising labels.
It is an all to common patterns around the world, dehumanising labels and insults.
I've heard first hand of lynching of Homosexuals in Cameroon and Nigeria, no idea if they were actual homosexuals, they could be just like the OP - a bit different and given a derogatory label. I wish they hadn't told me what the mob did to them.
It's comforting to rationalise away the insult against the OP as something like:
"I say old chap, I think that you are a practising homosexual, but that's fine because my friends and I thoroughly respect all people of all sexual persuasions"
But that is a fantasy.
No, yelling: "You're a ******!"
Means: "I hate gays, I'm labelling you gay as that's the kind of person that disgusts me the most. I think you're scum, less than a real person, and I have no qualms about hurting you"
Disgust is a FAR more dangerous emotion that anger or fear. It overcomes all careful and reasoned logic, people can get angry at people but it is the disgust element that allows them to act on their anger. That drives entire mobs of people to commit horrendous crimes on nothing but rumour.
I think that is why the OP was able to stay his hand, his anger is great but fleeting and comparatively controllable, it doesn't override empathy or common sense.
Being called a ****** should make anyone angry and fearful, angry at the humiliation of such accusations that are effectively un-answerable (I mean COME ON, The Simpson's has a running joke of Smithers who is inundated with gay-innuendo yet continuously denies it... no one want to look like a Smithers) which is important to any male who values his sexuality. Why should that be brought into question, people don't want to have everyone doubting their true intentions or nature.
And they should be afraid too, open humiliation jeopardises your collective security, people are less likely to stick up for you... more likely to turn against you.
For very good practical - if not Machiavellian - reasons efforts should be made to prevent this incident being repeated or escalating. It will only get worse.
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