My mom wants to take away my internet for what?!

[Dags90]

I dont know how your family works and I dont have any kids myself, or at least none that I know of, so I cant be sure that what Im about to say will be helpful or not.

I have many friends that are in this kind of situation. What I mean is kids growing into their teenage years or into their early 20s and social networking becomes a big part of their life. Many of the parents/guardians see facebook as something that can be dangerous to the kid/teenager/young adult so they take steps to watch those facebook accounts. Its not out of a sense to invade privacy or make the person uncomfortable but out of a sense of duty to protect them. I think thats also whats going on here

From my point of view I think you should add her as a friend and let her see enough so that she feels she can protect you. If there are things you can say on your facebook that you cant say to her then I think there are likely problems in your family relationship that need to be resolved

With the added information (which should be added to the OP) that his mom is a Facebook regular with over 600 friends and a bejeweled hobby, I find that reasoning unlikely. It sounds more like she's a "friend collector" and really wants her son as a +1 to her friend count.

Ask her how taking your internet will solve your relationship problems...because it's not like you'd be able to add her without an internet connection. Your mom sounds pretty batty though, has she always been a bit off her rocker or just with Facebook?

 

[DuctTapeJedi]

so long story short me and my mother got into an argument because i have not added her as a friend on facebook and because of this she wants to take away my internet. She argues that i dont love her anymore and that i shouldn't say anything on facebook i dont want her to see, i counter with i do love you and i am allowed to speak freely with out fear of punishment i went on to ask her if she had ever kept a secret from me she replied by staring at me and then walking out of the room. So escapist do you think i should allow her on my facebook? or should i be allowed to speak freely with out fear of punishment?
oh and i am 16

I had to have the "Facebook Talk" with my mom, too. Just explain to her that Facebook is essentially a place where you can hang out with friends. Then ask her if she'd have wanted her parents hanging around with her in a similar situation when she was a kid. It worked with my mom, and she's insane.

 

[rokkolpo]

I think it would be for the best if you killed her.

seriously...what is wrong with her.
getting mad because you don't want to friend her.

At the very least she sounds mentally unstable.

 

[doomboy29]

Parents + Facebook = Bad

 

[Not-here-anymore]

As far as I am aware though, if you must add her, put her in a group or something, you can group your friends ie work friends, school friends etc. But you can change the permissions for what each of the groups can actually see. So if you don't want your mom looking at pics of you or getting your status update in her feed then she wont.

You don't have to use groups at all - with the current privacy settings, you can change what individual people can see on your page. My Dad added me, and since I don't see him much, I accepted. And then changed the settings to match what my brother gets - no photos or videos featuring me at all, apart from my profile picture.
But you can stop people seeing your wall, your pictures, your statuses... pretty much everything apart from your name and profile picture.

 

[Merkavar]

if she pays for your internet then she can take it away. but taking the internet away isnt just taking face book its taking all those educational site you visit alot *wink wink* your always on those educational sites arent you? and removing the internet will make your grades at school slip.

 

[Staskala]

Today's youth sure has terrible problems to deal with...

Just imagine how life will be when even someone's grandma uses the latest social network fad.
Makes me glad to have avoided "internet parents" by a few years.

 

[Reaper195]

Simply ask your mother why the hell she thinks that you need to add her as a friend on Facebook to prove you love her.

My answer: get a job, move out, get your own internet.

Oh fuck the hell yes. Best advice.

 

[ZehGeek]

With the added information (which should be added to the OP) that his mom is a Facebook regular with over 600 friends and a bejeweled hobby, I find that reasoning unlikely. It sounds more like she's a "friend collector" and really wants her son as a +1 to her friend count.

That makes sense. Which also means she might be the "I'd like my child to be my friend friend" type of parent insted of being a actual parent.
OT: I'd pretty much say what's been said before. "How can I add you if you take away my internet?" If she's gonna be a idiot, I'd get a part-time job and pay for my own internet. Though there could be the other side of the card, and she's just attempting to try and have a relationship with you. Then I'd probably add, and do the grouping. Maybe have her be able to read your status and play the occasional game here and there.
Depends on the situation eaither way.

 

[FallenTraveler]

so long story short me and my mother got into an argument because i have not added her as a friend on facebook and because of this she wants to take away my internet. She argues that i dont love her anymore and that i shouldn't say anything on facebook i dont want her to see, i counter with i do love you and i am allowed to speak freely with out fear of punishment i went on to ask her if she had ever kept a secret from me she replied by staring at me and then walking out of the room. So escapist do you think i should allow her on my facebook? or should i be allowed to speak freely with out fear of punishment?
oh and i am 16

you should add her and change the settings for what she can view... I did that for my mom and she's none the wiser, and my gf's parents... they would stalk me

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

you really shouldn't put things on facebook you don't want others to see. .

This.

If you're putting stuff on Facebook that you don't want your mom to see, chances are it's stuff you don't want a future employer, your school, or any other adult to see. Just don't post it in the first place, and you'll be fine. Facebook, by it's very nature, is not private, and anyone who knows what they're doing and has a reason can find out what they need to know. As for adding her, just do it and save yourself the trouble. My mom is on my friends list, and the good has by far outweighed the bad. Granted, I didn't add her until after I moved out, but then my little sister is friends with her too, and again, it's not a problem. Facebook is a cross between e-mail and a message board, not some special method to hang out with your friends. Your mom is only the first in a long line of authority figures who are likely to want to check your profile, so you may as well clean it up now.

 

[Skobvs]

I've literally made a 2nd "family" fb account for just such a need. IE, only family members and relatives.

 

[Thedarkness77]

I dont understand why moms get so affended by the slightest things their kids say.

 

[Death God]

It is a nice thing to do but that is a bit extreme dude. Not only is it only facebook, but it is not your friend. She needs to chill down a knot or too.

 

[Dags90]

My answer: get a job, move out, get your own internet.

Oh fuck the hell yes. Best advice.

Yes, running away from this problem is the best way to deal with this. Totally. Maybe if his mom were hitting him or something, but even then it'd be better to call child services.

Seriously, people who post "get a job and move out" to every disagreement someone might have with their parents either lack perspective or don't know about conflict resolution.

 

[F-I-D-O]

My answer: get a job, move out, get your own internet.

OLD PERSON ANSWER! SHE FOUND YOU ON THE ESCAPIST, RUN!

Don't do that again. I like staying in my chair.
OT: Limited access on facebook. Put her in a group, and just change the settings so you have privacy. Not that hard.
Or get her Peggle.
There's also other ways of getting online away from home. The local libary, or, if you have a laptop, a free WiFi provider.
Last piece of advice: My old S.S. teacher had a saying - if you do X (write notes, doodle, etc.) then do it so that you can show your mother/grandmother without shame.
This can apply to Facebook as well. It's not really all that private when it's on the internet. Don't post things you don't want seen. Send an email to friends, or use a different chat thing. Go back to MySpace. It should be pretty empty now. /sarcasm on last two sentences

 

[katsumoto03]

Isn't this the plot of that one South Park episode?

 

[UltraParanoia]

I'm lucky, my mother doesn't give two shits about the stuff I post on FB.

Add her, if she bitches about anything, remind her that she forced you to add her in the first fucking place.

 

[Why do I care]

I... This is completely absurd.
Facebook. Facebook.

I cannot even form any sort of coherant opinon.

Exactly what I was thinking.