My Quote of the Day!

[Kanlic]

I'll make this quick: Freshman in college, got lost in the subway, got kicked out of a couple of bars because I am young, had a tranny buy me beer, realized I was in the ghetto, and then decided to get blacked out. This morning I woke up surrounded by puke and had a message on my phone saying that 6 people like my status update on Facebook. Out of curiosity, I checked the update because i didn't remember writing it. It said:

I poop rainbows

So Escapies, I want to know your goofy quotes, I don't care when, who or where they spoken or written, all I want is funny.

Search-bar approved

 

[Dango]

Not a very good quote, but the only one I can think of at the moment. I was speaking to my friend the other day:

"Oh yeah, on a side note, did you ever watch Angel Beats! like I told you to? I bet you didn't, did you? I'm serious, go watch it, this is a serious matter, a very serious one. Seriously. I'm so serious right now."

Seriously.

Also there's:
"I expel you from my vicinity!"

"I don't trust those pants..."
and
"So, let's say we have a plane full of cows, our job is to deliver them to Africa. What do we do?"
It took us about an hour of discussion to come with the answer "Land the plane".

 

[Ironic Pirate]

"Stop being such a flowery vagina!" Used whenever someone (a woman, typically) calls men pigs.

"My hand... is alive!" from when I discovered the effects of sleep deprivation.

"That mullet kills and eats other mullets for sustenance!" upon watching Dog the Bounty Hunter for the first (and last, hopefully) time.

 

[KaiRai]

A friend of mine who's petrified of spiders.

"I was on the toilet taking a dump, when I looked right and there was a HUGE spider there! Damn lucky I was on the toilet, because I literally shit myself."

Either that or watching CSI and hearing "I'll check if the rear's been forced" and bursting out laughing

 

[Serenegoose]

I'll make this quick: Freshman in college, got lost in the subway, got kicked out of a couple of bars because I am young, had a tranny buy me beer, realized I was in the ghetto, and then decided to get blacked out. This morning I woke up surrounded by puke and had a message on my phone saying that 6 people like my status update on Facebook. Out of curiosity, I checked the update because i didn't remember writing it. It said:

Just so you know, trans people don't much like being called that. It's pretty offensive to us.

As for my quote...

Eh, I can't remember any at the moment. This is annoying, because amongst my friends my rants have become quite renowned, especially when it comes to entirely made up expletives. >>

 

[Outright Villainy]

I'll make this quick: Freshman in college, got lost in the subway, got kicked out of a couple of bars because I am young, had a tranny buy me beer, realized I was in the ghetto, and then decided to get blacked out. This morning I woke up surrounded by puke and had a message on my phone saying that 6 people like my status update on Facebook. Out of curiosity, I checked the update because i didn't remember writing it. It said:

Just so you know, trans people don't much like being called that. It's pretty offensive to us.

As for my quote...

Eh, I can't remember any at the moment. This is annoying, because amongst my friends my rants have become quite renowned, especially when it comes to entirely made up expletives. >>

Ooh, I wanna see a rant!
NOW.

Um, I question your mother's chastity! And um... You smell of elderberries!

[small]Blast, how do you start these codblasting argument things...[/small]

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

The cheese is always twice the fencepost.

 

[GrahamN]

On a night out I was boasting about having drunk more than a mate and came out with this gem:

"Its all about one-upmanship, I will get one up on the ship"

 

[Mariakitten]

"I'm just a old man, pining for all he has lost." -From one awesome game of D&D.
" If I am ever to find myself lost in life then I will wander till I arrive where fate destines for me to be" -Mariakitten warrior poet
"I am Waffles, capten of the USS laundry basket!" -me narrating for my cat

 

[Thunderhorse31]

"You can't jack-off a dead butterfly."

-Children's Hospital

 

[Bobby Newmark]

"My shoes don't fit yours."
-yours truly during the heated shoe debates of '07

 

[PrimoThePro]

"No need for me anymore? Then I make my exit. EXEUNT!!"

 

[Mr. Omega]

I posted this before... et me find the old post and copy/paste... HERE WE ARE!

Omega's greatest quotes:

"Relax, I don't get angry. I hold a grudge."
"Everyone needs something to cope with stress. Some read books, some listen to music, and goddammit, I play videogames."
"Do I judge you when you get drunk when you're angry? No. So don't judge me when I ragequit." (there's a funny story behind that one.)
"Look, there's more to this game than shooting people. Not much more, but there IS more."
"Dude, lazers are the universal solution to everything."
"I'll start caring about your problem when you make it worth my time."
"Look, I've got a lot of stuff to do. I'll get to *insert thing person wants you to do that you don't* between my playthroughs of Half Life 2 Episode 3 and Duke Nukem Forever."

 

[Skorpyo]

Snake? SNAKE! SAAAAKEE.

 

[hortez the champion of the frozen wastes]

So far we've fought fire ninja's, and skeleton ninja's, but no regular ninjas. DND

My chum: I think I play to many games, they're starting to take over my life.
Me: Well you know what the solution is right?
my chum: More games?
Me: *facepalm*
My chum: no?

 

[Zap Rowsdower]

My friend kept a list of all funny things he overheard over the year last year. Here's a few:

"I get black stars when I'm retarded." - My friend Luke

"When I get home my mom has to go to bingo." - Random kid