"Your fad it burned out long before, the stretching ever did..." - Kidnapped Elton John on the Death of My Broken Stretch Armstrong
Today a beloved Stretch Armstrong doll died of internal bleeding of starch as it leaked all over my desk, creating a sticky crime scene. The killer is unknown, most likely the Grim Reaper, who is believed to be responsible for 100% of deaths, the most notorious serial killer who ever lived.
Mourning consisted of placing Mr. Stretch Armstrong's body in a garbage bag to be disposed of in an environmentally conscious manner. The widowner of the Stretch Armstrong, NewGeekPhilosopher, is said to be "pretty bloody devastated" that his "beloved childhood plaything from the 1990s" has passed away in such a violent fashion. He hopes a candlelight vigil will be held for the deceased 90s fad toy from 11pm to 12am Sydney time.
Today a beloved Stretch Armstrong doll died of internal bleeding of starch as it leaked all over my desk, creating a sticky crime scene. The killer is unknown, most likely the Grim Reaper, who is believed to be responsible for 100% of deaths, the most notorious serial killer who ever lived.
Mourning consisted of placing Mr. Stretch Armstrong's body in a garbage bag to be disposed of in an environmentally conscious manner. The widowner of the Stretch Armstrong, NewGeekPhilosopher, is said to be "pretty bloody devastated" that his "beloved childhood plaything from the 1990s" has passed away in such a violent fashion. He hopes a candlelight vigil will be held for the deceased 90s fad toy from 11pm to 12am Sydney time.
i forgot what happened to him
