"See, I'm in charge here! I drop this stick, and they pick your friend here up with a sponge! Are you ready to die, friend? "
"You got the wrong guy. I don't even have a brother. That's just a picture of me in a suit. You could've got that off the internet. I saw a picture of Bill Gates with three titties on the net."
"Chocolate, what's this fuckin' receipt from Gold Foods Market for $254?" - "snacks"
"You are my shiny lunch box. "
"I ought to let you freeze to death. I might anyway."
"I'm fed up saving your ass. I'm amazed you ever got past puberty."
"Peace isn't merely the absence of conflict, but the presence of justice. "
"... Bit me right in the buttocks. They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money 'cause I still haven't seen a nickel of that million dollars."
"Now, a question of etiquette - as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch"
"I was a stone cold aerial hunter. Death from above."
"Fact is, all lies, all evil deeds, they stink. You can cover them up for a while, but they don't go away."
"Bottomless breadsticks only keep you at the Olive Garden for so long, until at some point you look up and say 'Why the hell am I at the Olive Garden with all these fat people?"
"They somehow managed to get every creep and freak in the universe onto this one plane. And then somehow managed to let them take it over. And then somehow managed to stick us right smack in the middle. "
"Honey, I don't know what you are. For all I know you could be some big fat dude sitting in a stem chair with his dick hanging out."
"When somebody asks me a question, I tell them the answer. "
"We're having too good a time today. We ain't thinking about tomorrow."
This is what having to much sleep last night, and being incredibly bored will bring you. a large compilation of quotes

have fun