Need advice with my current relationship status.

[breadlord]

(All of this contains to the story as a whole.)
Firstly, my girlfriend of almost 7 months, broke up with me, because, well...

A couple weeks ago, on a Sunday, we got into a quite big fight about....Haircuts and shaving of her legs. The moral gist of this is that she got mad at me and I got mad at her. Then all of a sudden, she starts texting me really differently, like someone else was dicking around on her phone. Of course, she gets madder at me from that and doesn't text me for awhile, say, 3 hours. After that I'm crying my eyes out, then I'm about to go to sleep, and then she calls me. The second line she says is that, "I'm not going to leave you." Hearing this got me completely relieved.

By the end of the night, she asks me two questions that started the snowball to the eventful break up. "Have you ever done something that you don't know you should regret or not?" and "What do you consider cheating?" Then it became completely obivous that she cheated on me (As in, hanging out with other guys and kissing them and whatnot. High school drama.)

On Tuesday, she posts a very depressing Facebook status about how someone lied to her and that's just a picture to burn in a fire. I start tearing up again because i knew it was me. So I get into school and i ask her about it. "It's about someone else." Which i, again, became completely relieved that she wasn't going to dump me. On Wednesday, in the evening, we break up. On Thursday, she starts talking to me again. But she seems really mad. Then she starts talk about how I cheated on her. (Completely not true.) Apparently I went to a football game with this black haired girl and she wanted to kiss me but I didn't let her. Three major problems here. Her Ex said this, and he wants to get back together with her. Ex, as I'll call him, doesn't know who I look like. And, I only went to one football game, only for my school band performance. Just for kicks, Ex doesn't go to the same school as me. Anyways, later in school, she talks to me about what happened in the pass couple of days.

So on Friday, we see each other watching two movies and "cuddling." For the duration of the night she was in an emotional depressed kind of state because Ex was mad at her for playing him, as she calls it. So on Saturday we do the same thing, but she got over the fact that Ex wasn't talking to her after she went to figure skating.

Then on Sunday she tries to make a deal with Ex, but overall chooses to stay with me. 5 days later, she breaks up with me. We're still single today. (Almost 6 days.)

During this two weeks, in Jazz Band, (On Mondays and Thursdays) the girl who sits next to me gets really nice to me, and I took it if she wanted to go out with me. Also with the random looks at me during the Band Class later in the day. She also noticed me the first time I broke up, and I was really depressed. Now I really feel like asking her out but....

She's in the Hospital and had hip surgery 7-8 days ago. Now I already poked her and had two conversations with her in the Facebook Mail client. (Not in IM thingy, the thing labeled Inbox at the top.) Until, Yesterday, my ex, or X, made a Facebook Status about how, "This is a contest to see who can care the less," and adding to the fact someone who "Like"d it had an alternative name of For[Ex's last name here].

My question for you is, what should I do? And how to do it?

 

[webby]

That is quite the convoluted story you have there.

Forget your first ex, move onto the girl from band. Status = hidden, she can ask you about it if she cares. Job done.

 

[comadorcrack]

Bust a move?

Nah seriously. Be like me, don't give a shit, she left you. You're a man god dammit! Hang out with this new girl see if you like her. If not no big loss talk to other lasses. Hell you don't even need to get into a new relationship. Chill with mates. play videogames. DO something creative whatever.

Its called an ex for a reason. Cross the ***** out of your life.

You get Brofists from me for the break up. aaaaaannnddd
Get on with new life.....

NOW!

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

Leave her. she's clearly got either trust problems or doesn't know what she wants, and thats the worst thing in any relationship: When there's no trust and one or both partners don't know if it'd work.

As for hip-girl, I'd give yourself a bit of time to relax and move on before jumping into a relationship, otherwise women might see this as "he just wants a girlfriend".

 

[Zacharine]

Honestly, I would say to get out of the drama with your ex. It is better to put a definitive end to a relatinship that you are uncertain of having any future and clearly brings you no peace of mind. The trust issue is also prevalent, if your ex is willing to accuse you of cheating based on the word of her ex when she herself hasn't exactly been straight and narrow with you.

It will hurt, but either you will need to really resolve this with your ex or put an end to it and wait for you both to mature a bit. Or just move on.

As for the new possible girlfriend - Take care. It might or might not be a good idea, but one thing you do not want to do is use her as a rebound, prove something to your ex or to just prop yourself. If you genuinely think there might be something, go for it. But don't lord it over your ex in the facebook if you do - the mature thing here would be to either stay faithful to your ex and once you both cool down a little resolve it, or put an end to the guesswork and just call it quits and leave your ex alone.

Thats my 2 cents. Take for what it's worth.

 

[binvjoh]

Move on, the drama isn't worth it.

 

[TaboriHK]

First off, you're not going to take my advice but I'll give it anyway - get away. You are WAAAAAAAY too dependent. If you can't have an honest conversation with someone, you're not really in a relationship. This is all high school bullshit, so none of it will matter anyway, and trust me, you're going to be embarrassed that you actually went through all this later. She ain't worth it, and you are in bad need of some time as a single person. This "world revolves around whether or not she'll leave me" nonsense is frankly more than a little pathetic and not at all where you want to be as far as life and self-esteem goes. Just punch out.

 

[tthor]

Forget your ex. She seems way to emotionally unstable, and even tho you might be able to work through that emotional instability by talking to her and getting her to open up to you, since she's already broken up with you its really not worth it.

and about the band girl; get to know her and become friend, But, i wouldn't recommend just jumping into a relationship with someone you may not know well, especially right after ending a relationship of 7 months. try to give it a couple weeks,(or even 2 months or so) before you start dating again. after a breakup, you will crave to be in a relationship as soon as possible, just simply because you don't want to be alone and miss that feeling of being with someone. but if you rush into a new relationship, it'll just become a rebound relationship, which are unhealthy, and rarely work out, because you will wind up carrying all that baggage from your previous relationship into this one.

you maybe can even tell the girl that you like her but aren't ready to date just yet and would like to just get to know her first

a lot of people are too dependent on relationships, and rush into relationships for the wrong reasons. One thing I've come to realize in the recent days is that, you don't necessarily need a relationship to be happy. Someone had told me that a year ago when i was feeling really lonely, and I just wrote it off as patronizing bullshit. but after I ended a 7 month long relationship recent, i came to realize that that person was right, as long as you feel happy with yourself, you don't need a relationship for happiness.

 

[captain_Bubblebum]

Bust a move?

Nah seriously. Be like me, don't give a shit, she left you. You're a man god dammit! Hang out with this new girl see if you like her. If not no big loss talk to other lasses. Hell you don't even need to get into a new relationship. Chill with mates. play videogames. DO something creative whatever.

Its called an ex for a reason. Cross the ***** out of your life.

You get Brofists from me for the break up. aaaaaannnddd
Get on with new life.....

NOW!

Nothing more to add to this....it's the exact solution!


How great is that though, that you get dumped and some new girl is there already? It's like you just had a long day at work, come home, and there's a hot meal all cooked and prepared for you

......This "world revolves around whether or not she'll leave me" nonsense is frankly more than a little pathetic and not at all where you want to be as far as life and self-esteem goes. Just punch out.

Don't take any notice of this - it's not pathetic cos you're still a kid and there's still hormones that'll screw with your head over girls. Truth is, confusion will happen alot but you just gotta remember girls are really dumb and will do dumb things. Hell, they bleed every month? FAIL. Just have fun and enjoy all the crazyness of it all. Why fight the current? You're arms are only gonna get tired from it, you'll probably end up gulping down water as you gasp for air, which will most likely result in you spewing, depending on what's in the water. As far as i can see you should just let yourself float down stream, maybe pretend your an otter and smash clams off your tummy? fuck knows where i was going with this metaphore.....bottom line: Hook up with the new girl and throw shit at the X.

Hope it goes well

Btw when i read you said you had already poked her i was like "SCORE!!" but then i saw you were talking about facebook....oh and it is totally okay to date a cripple, just so you know - it will mean you're a good person and you'll probably get karma points for it.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

It doesn't look as though you're on stable ground. Your former girlfriend looks as though she doesn't trust you anymore.

My suggestion: Move on, but what you do next is not our decision.

 

[General_Potatoes]

Wow a lot of break ups there. It's kind of like my friend and his ex so just leave her (I told him the same thing and it worked)

 

[dmase]

-_- do what i should have done, when they do the idk if i wanna be with you thing where its you or another guy just end it.

This is where i become a dick, because i have personal experience with the same thing, i'm still with the girl btw but the issues that arose because of this are too numerous to count. Make it a point to point out your flaws then say but your ex did this this and this, and thats only the stuff i know about i'm sure you can think of more. We had a fight about something minor but why go back to him? Then when she tries explaining stop her mid sentence and say i'm sorry i don't wanna hear this, if your not sure enough about me then why should i stay with you? That will give her a couple silent seconds afterwards where you walk away. The entire time melancholy, the way you sound that won't be too hard, but you want melancholy not anger.

She might come crying back to you after that then you can decide if you wanna be with her. If she decides the other guy it won't last, i'll place my bets based on high school relationships and how you describe it, also because the entire time she is gonna be thinking about what you said. The guy needs to be a much better bf than you to get over that wall you created. This all depends on how you feel about this girl and if your willing to do that, i wasn't but i also was mislead by emotions, i won't make the same mistake again, if it happens again.

Btw a fight over hair and shaving legs? Your not gonna last long with women if that bothers you. Most women I know are self conscious when they don't look 100%(so they'll keep their legs shaved and hair in a way that their bf likes) but when they bring it up just laugh and say idc. I honestly don't, I never think i'm at a 100% so why should i expect them to be?

 

[Zaik]

She's been openly cheating on you and rubbing your face in it and you've been taking it. Forget that slut and date whoever else.

 

[BonsaiK]

What should I do? And how to do it?

Arguments about shaving her legs and haircuts...? Asking someone else to alter their personal grooming because you happen to prefer certain things is in the same ballpark as her saying to you "you play computer games and I don't, therefore it's games or me". You have to learn to accept other people for who they are, not for who you want them to be. You killed any chances of a healthy relationship with your ex permanently right there.

The rest of your post is just drama-stuff, don't pay it any mind. No more more-than-friends behaviour with your ex from now on, even if she practically jumps on you. It'll just lead to more frustration. The damage is done, so move on. Date the band girl if you want, proceed slowly, make sure she's what you want, don't be too clingy, and don't make the same mistake next time.

 

[quiet_samurai]

It's easy....

What do you want to do?
Okay, interesting, interesting.
Now go do it.

I'll have the receptoninst bill you on the way out.

 

[Jedoro]

My question for you is, what should I do? And how to do it?

Well it's awfully complicated and wrought with difficulty and potential to backfire but...

Spoiler: This is what you must do...

Do a barrel roll.

Sorry I couldn't miss out on it, plus I have no idea, PLUS this should be in the relationship advice thread or whatever, I'm sure somebody will link you to it.

Ninja'd

Seriously, forget about your ex and go after band chick if you're legitimately interested in her.

 

[TaboriHK]

Arguments about shaving her legs and haircuts...? Asking someone else to alter their personal grooming because you happen to prefer certain things is in the same ballpark as her saying to you "you play computer games and I don't, therefore it's games or me". You have to learn to accept other people for who they are, not for who you want them to be. You killed any chances of a healthy relationship with your ex permanently right there.

That's nonsense. Asking a girl to shave her legs is not comparable to being uninterested in her personality. It's a dumb argument to be sure, but you're going way too far the other way with doomsaying. If you can't be honest with your partner, THAT is what kills it.

 

[TaboriHK]

Don't take any notice of this - it's not pathetic cos you're still a kid and there's still hormones that'll screw with your head over girls.

We're both right - it is pathetic but it's also fine. The teens are for screwing up like this. I was in the exact same boat at that age. It's not bad to be pathetic as a kid - and realizing it later on as you get older is healthy and good. But it is what it is. Which is to say, embarrassing.

 

[Halceon]

Is it over?

Yes? Forget it, move on to the next girl. Keep in mind to take it slow, so that you don't lie to yourself whether you like her or just don't wish to be alone.

No? Make it over, return to the start. Totally not worth it.