Need help with a Superhero idea.

[SonicWaffle]

I think what would be cool is if you did something similar to the Batman story where Gotham suffers an earthquake and all the villains carve out their own territory and fight for supremacy. I forget the name of it which is infuriating, but seeing this guy work his way up the chain of crime lords, ecountering more powerful and more equipped enemies as he goes along, would be alot of fun to watch.

Batman: Cataclysm followed by Batman: No Man's Land

Unfortunately, I think the way you've laid the idea out here has problems. For one, it reads too much like a video game - progressing slowly up the ranks defeating tougher "bosses" until they're all beaten and the hero is king of the city. For another, if this is planned as an ongoing story, then once the hero reaches the top there would need to be a massive overhaul of the plot, because where does he go from there? He'd need to be depowered or toppled from his position and that just undoes all the good that happened previously.

However, I realized I'm missing two more crucial elements. The hero has a civilian name, but he needs a super hero code name, and I haven't thought up a good title for my story yet.

Why does he? Does he have friends, family, loved ones to protect? If not, then there isn't much point in hiding who he is.

How about you start him with a goofy mask and a cheesy codename, only to find out that the people in this war-ravaged, starving world are too cynical to trust a faceless hero who hides his identity from them. After a while the hero would decide that the only way to gain the trust of the people is by showing them the honesty that they aren't getting from their politicians or leaders, and abandon the idea of being a man of mystery. Being open about who he is makes him more relatable.

As it stands, I think your story lacks a bit of drama. What motivates him to fight crime? He wakes up one day in perfect health with superpowers and just decides that the world is a sack of crap, and that only he can fix it? An ordinary person, even one discovering amazing new powers, isn't that socially conscious. How about this instead - the serum gives him superpowers, but it doesn't cure the cancer. He's still dying, and he doesn't know how long he has left. So he decides that, since he's dying anyway, he has nothing to lose by taking to the streets and trying to do some good before he dies. Maybe he's deeply religious but has never been a perfect guy, and he's afraid of going to Hell when he dies, so he wants to do as much good as he can in the time he has left. There are hundreds of possibilities, and the story you have so far seems very (no offence meant) vanilla, the kind of stuff that's been done a hundred times before. He needs weaknesses, motivations, something to make him seem more human than just another superpowered hero doing good for the sake of freedom, truth and mom's apple pie.

Just my two pence, anyway. Feel free to ignore it.

 

[MetaMop]

Yes to everything you just said. Dr. Manhatten of Watchmen fame was similar in his immense power, but it wasn't his powers that defined him; it was his personality. And a deeply religious character would make for good depth if done properly.

 

[SonicWaffle]

Yes to everything you just said. Dr. Manhatten of Watchmen fame was similar in his immense power, but it wasn't his powers that defined him; it was his personality. And a deeply religious character would make for good depth if done properly.

In my opinion, it was entirely the other way around. Dr Manhattan, as a result of his immense power, all but lost his personality. He was practically omnipotent, and in comparison to the humans around him, omniscient too. He lost all ability to relate to them on a human level, his personality withering and dying as he became more of an observer. He was defined entirely by what he was, what he could do, rather than who he was.

 

[RatRace123]

A battle of siblings is a good idea. Especially when they could just spit at each other and cause atomic explosions. That would be epic.
And a message to the creator himself: what kind of world were you planning for this story? If there is a massive war going on involving a world superpower, I'd imagine things were pretty messed up. It would help to focus your character if you knew what the world was and what it has become, and the hero's reaction to it.

Spoiler: Long ass read, explaining the full backstory.

The world is basically a worse version of the one we have today, a worse case scenario, highly implausible, maybe. The story is set just a few years into the future 5 or 6, 10 at the most. The American recession never got better, it just kept plummeting downward.

Money became all important and the rich turned their financial power into a political one, aligning themselves with the federal government, while the poor were left to rot. Faced with little options many people turned to crime, in turn declaring their loyalty to the charasmatic crime lords, who offered protection and shelter in exchange for "favors". Drug trades, robberies, prostitution has been high for years.
Cities like Vegas swiftly became overrun by the mafia that have always been hidden underground, it's a cesspool, but it's a place where anyone can get and do whatever they want.

Washington became overrun with riots and death threats, the military and the secret service tried their best but they were outnumbered by the desperate, and the insane.
Now all the political power rests in New York, now a sharply divided city. The politicians and the rich and upper middle class still live in relative comfort and safety around Time Square. But the rest of NY has become a battle ground for the various crime lords and drug dealers waging a war for control.

With military power moved mostly to America, a new terroist cell has silently infiltrated. They've only made small attacks for now, but most figure it's a matter of time before they strike big, in an attack that demonstrates their true power. Many people actually hope for an event like that, a devastating attack that would unite the country once more.

With so many sick and dying, the medical industry has entered a huge boon, more and more funding has been placed in the corporation Syntho-cure (name pending) and their fabled Project Evolution (name also pending). Project Evolution began back in the seventies under the name Project New Blood (you guessed it, name pending) New blood took "volunteers" and administered them with injections that were suspected to create a stronger, better human.

New Blood was recognized as a failure and "officially" shut down in 88 after it yielded no results and many of the subjects were showing signs of a strong, deadly cancerous disease. The disease attacked slowly but within 20 years more than 70 percent of the subjects died. The researchers discovered that though the subjects were slowly dying, the disease was also present in their children, though it was changed somehow. Many proposals were made to reopen New Blood, but they were all rejected until Syntho-cure made a shrewd move and bought out the majority of America's various medical companies. This gave them access to the records of New Blood.

Ufortunately many of the patient records were lost during the attack on September 11. (I may change this if it proves too offensive.) Gene charts were lost, save for a few. The hero was one of those few, and in his mid twenties, it was discovered that he was afflicted with the same cancerous disease.

He lived with the disease for a while, so for a few years he's been reassured in the knowledge that his death will come quickly. He's also never really been exposed to the crime element that much. He spent most of his life in New Hampshire, a state which is still relatively safe. Only recently did he move to NY, and when he did he moved to Queens, again a relatively safe place. He, like all other citizens knows about the criminals and the lingering terror threat, but it's always seemed far away, until he gets super powers and is thrust into the middle of it.

So, whatcha think?

 

[MetaMop]

That's what I meant really. I suppose I didn't go into enough detail.
And if we're gonna discuss great superheroes, then Watchmen is the perfect example.
It's the characers and their psychological profiles that make the story so great.
A story about an immensly powerfull being with deep religious ties in the middle of World War 3 sounds like something I would buy twice. While not a religious person myself, it creates a very good dichotomy in a world of chaos and ambiguity.

 

[MetaMop]

Sounds very good! The idea of the US turning to a fractured crime zone is good for a hero.
And the idea of needing a great destructive event to unite the country is perfect for your hero, considering he could easily do just that. Ambiguity should be your focus - moral choice.
Needs of the many might not outweigh the needs of the few.

 

[RatRace123]

Thanks for all of the ideas, I think I may actually begin writing today. Checking back for new inspiration and the like.
I still can't decide what I want this to be, I think it would work great as a comic, I have an awesome look in mind for the hero. I guess I'll start writing and see if I can find someone who can draw.

 

[MetaMop]

Good luck in your writing, mate. You've got some very good ideas there that I think could really evolve into something great.

 

[MetaMop]

Also, there's a site called fantasy-writers dot org. It's a collection of aspiring writers who gather to talk about their work. They have writing contests, a forum for discussing ideas. I'm on there myself. There's a forum where you can show ideas and get creative help, and you can post stories. It's a nice site. If you want to write a superhero story (or any kind of fantasy story), I think it'd be a good place for you to visit if you'd like some direction with your work.

 

[RatRace123]

Thanks, I may check it out.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well this hero of your's seems alot like Superman, where he is overpowered to godlike levels, and an opposing force to such a hero is rather unthinkable, and any weaknesses then appear as an afterthought when the creators noticed that hero can't really be outmatched.

Why not have him down to earth, a fragile being just like us.
Instead of manipulating every possible energy, why not just have one, like kinetic?
And instead of him having tons of spare energy to throw around, he gets none at all, he can merely absorb and then reuse that energy.
Making him completely normally weak and powerful at the same time, all depending on the situation...

 

[SonicWaffle]

Well this hero of your's seems alot like Superman, where he is overpowered to godlike levels, and an opposing force to such a hero is rather unthinkable, and any weaknesses then appear as an afterthought when the creators noticed that hero can't really be outmatched.

Unlike Superman, though, this hero's powers are not natural. He gained them as the result of a drug trial, and nobody ever does a drug trial with just one subject. Not to mention that in the origin story, he is part of the second generation of the trial, meaning that there will be some older superpowered types from the previous generation, presumably quite a lot from his generation, and as time goes by more heroes/villains can be added from a third stage of drug trials. The advantage of this is that the same drug is being used each time, with slight variations between generations - gen1 could be a little less powerful than the protagonist, but everyone from gen2 would be of similar or equal power levels, with the eventual third generation being even more powerful. It neatly avoids the Superman problem by making it easy for anyone to gain the same/similar powers.

 

[SonicWaffle]

Thanks for all of the ideas, I think I may actually begin writing today. Checking back for new inspiration and the like.

Good luck in your writing, mate. You've got some very good ideas there that I think could really evolve into something great.

Just as a heads-up guys, it's easier to quote people's posts than just to post after them. That way we get shiny mails in our inboxes telling us that you've replied, and don't have to use the forum search to try and find the thread again ;-)

But yeah, good luck!

 

[2xDouble]

All due respect to your creativity, this character is starting to look a little familiar.

Check out Marvel Comics' Penance [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robbie_Baldwin](not Speedball). You should make sure your guy is distinct from him in more than just name and small details.

 

[RatRace123]

All due respect to your creativity, this character is starting to look a little familiar.

Check out Marvel Comics' Penance [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robbie_Baldwin](not Speedball). You should make sure your guy is distinct from him in more than just name and small details.

Damn, I had a feeling I subconsciously stole the powers from somewhere. I'll just have to write carefully to avoid making my hero a copy of Penance.
Then again, Marvel and DC copy each other all the time, so there might not be a problem if I just use a different name and costume.

Still, going to have to be careful.

 

[2xDouble]

All due respect to your creativity, this character is starting to look a little familiar.

Check out Marvel Comics' Penance [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robbie_Baldwin](not Speedball). You should make sure your guy is distinct from him in more than just name and small details.

Damn, I had a feeling I subconsciously stole the powers from somewhere. I'll just have to write carefully to avoid making my hero a copy of Penance.
Then again, Marvel and DC copy each other all the time, so there might not be a problem if I just use a different name and costume.

Still, going to have to be careful.

Actually, I created a similar character many years ago (copyrights pending, heh) by the name of Vector. He was also a PK (like Jean Grey or Magneto (yes he is)), but had to touch whatever he was moving, or was limited to moving in a single direction directly away from himself. The catch is, he can only impart kinetic energy, his powers couldn't damage anything unless they slammed it into something else...

The point is, you can always tweak abilities with quirky limits or change how they function to create something more unique.

As far as coming up with names, I'll give you my best writing advice: use a Thesaurus. Pick a word related to what you want, look it up in the thesaurus and pick any words you like, or look that word up until you do. I've written entire short stories around a single word I liked.

PS. If you use or modify my character, please give me Created By credit and a small share of any profits, ty. lol

 

[3aqua]

For hero's there are basically 2 tiers of powers
Tier 1: Energy projection or active
this is the ability to influence the world around without contact this includes Flight, fire balls ,laser beams , ice, changing of weather and telekinesis
Tier 2: physical or passive
this is basically the ones were you are either receiving passive: like x-ray vision,telepathy,or thermal vision or super hearing or passive: where it only effects you like invulnerability teleportation or invisibility or great athletic skills or gliding
Considering your characters origin and feel I'd advise Tier 2 powers

My old hero was called Jake who had the ability to control momentum so he could take it out of a bullet and watch it drop and he also could increase his own to make himself practically fly, his weapon of choice was his bouncy ball

 

[MetaMop]

How broken is US society at this point? Are we talking martial law?

 

[Souplex]

The war should be WWIII with the new Axis Powers consisting of Australia, Canada, and India.

 

[AngelicSven]

Take a lesson from the old comic DC/Marvel sales fight of Superman and Spiderman back in the day.

Character development beats out overpowered superclown every time.