Need some advice.

[Motiv_]

Well, this would be my first thread in quite some time, apologize if it's "Low in discussion value" or something of that nature.

My wife has a friend of hers, and apparently they've been good friends for some time. I trust my wife and her decisions, but now I'm losing my patience. This "Friend" of hers constantly berates me when she's over here, both behind my back and to my face, most of the stuff is not true, and my wife knows this, it's annoying her too, but she puts up with it for friendship's sake.

Now, my wife and I are that adorable little couple that refuses to go anywhere without each other. Yeah, cute, I know. But said friend of hers refuses to go anywhere I'm going, and has actually told me to "Fuck off" several times.

Now, note, I have done nothing to this woman, ever. She's been on this crusade of hate ever since we met, and I'm really started to get irritated. I'm starting to think it's racially motivated, there really is no other reason for it. I have a problem with my temper, I've began to get control of it recently, but I'm still worried that one day she'll say the wrong thing and I'll go off on her. I don't want to damage my wife's friendship, but I also don't exactly love some woman telling my wife lies behind my back, one day she may begin to believe her, ect ect.

So, Escapists, what do I do?

Disclaimer: Murder, rape, and telling her to "Get back in the kitchen" are not valid answers. If you're going to try to be a wiseass, at least throw in a "In all seriousness" at the end.

 

[Marter]

I think you and your wife should sit down with her friend and talk this out amongst yourselves. That's really the mature way to handle it, and is the best way in my opinion. It can then go two ways. Either you guys make up, or your wife has to pick between the friend and you. She'll pick you, and then you can be a lot happier.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

 

[dsmops2003]

Talk to her and ask calmly what you have done to draw her ire?

 

[super_smash_jesus]

well....is this a problem with your wife not realizing what is going on? because if I had a friend that didn't get along with my wife, I wouldn't have that friend for much longer.

In all honesty, I have no idea how you can fix this little social conundrum other than going right out and saying to you wife "find new friends"

good luck sir.

 

[DarthFennec]

Sounds like she's a bit jealous, don't you think? ^_^ In all seriousness, I'd talk to your wife about it, make sure she gets your point of view, and ask her to help you think of something that would help.

 

[delet]

Discuss it with your wife and have her confront her friend about it if you can't confront her on your own.

 

[DividedUnity]

You sure your wifes friend isnt a lesbian looking to get some with your wife?

On a serious note theres really nothing you can do. As long as your wife knows how you feel about it.

 

[Banana Phone Man]

I would most definately talk with your wife about this. Seeing as your wife is also weary of this behavior of the woman maybe your wife can talk to her. They are friends so they should be able to sort it out. If your wifes friend refuses even if your wife asks it then maybe she isn't that great of a friend.

You could try to talk to this woman youself but if you only get "fuck off" then don't bother. She won't listen to you and you will only get angry.

I know it's not much but it's all I could think of. I hope this ends well for you.

[small]You could always slap he with a wet fish. Ok I had to add a little nonsence in there. I can't be all serious.[/small]

 

[wkrepelin]

I agree that you should discuss this with your wife. It's really not likely to help if you confront her friend on your own. Express to your wife how much this upsets you. Ask her to handle it on her own if possible. If she expresses to her friend that this is a problem for the both of you then they will either stop and continue the friendship or it may be time for your wife to consider terminating that relationship. The important thing is to not force anything on your partner and let her handle the proactive side of things while trying to make the decision as a couple.

I hope it works out. Good luck friend.

 

[vento 231]

Kill the *****!!!
Just because of the disclaimer all say something "in all seriousness" you should probably have a discussion with her, while your wifes present, if that doesn't work, encourage your wife to spend time with her other friends.

 

[trueluigi7]

All I can say is just give a compliment that isn't...even on the lines of flirtatious, just something that shows you respect her even if you don't, but other than that have a mature discussion with her and your wife.

 

[zombiesinc]

I can understand your wife wanting to keep this friendship, so she ignores her friend's comments (especially if she knows that they're untrue), and previously, while you were okay with ignoring it yourself, it was okay. The problem is that you're no longer okay with it, you're getting irritated by it, and you don't think you can tolerate it much longer. That being the case, I think it's time your wife has a talk to this friend about her attitude. If she can't hold her tongue and respect your marriage, she isn't a true friend, and needs to go.

 

[Forgetitnow344]

Does she berate all men or just you? This is extremely important to evaluating exactly what kind of ***** you are dealing with.

If you sit down and talk with the "irrational and lonely best friend," she'll think you're ganging up on her to take her out or something stupid like that. She's irrational.

And slightly schizophrenic.

 

[evilninja60]

she told you to "fuck off" and you didn't go off on her? you sir are a bigger man than I.

seriously if shes that much of a ***** you need to confront her and work it out. if that doesn't work tell her to fuck off.

 

[Motiv_]

Does she berate all men or just you? This is extremely important to evaluating exactly what kind of ***** you are dealing with.

If you sit down and talk with the "irrational and lonely best friend," she'll think you're ganging up on her to take her out or something stupid like that. She's irrational.

And slightly schizophrenic.

I'd be the only man to catch her ire that I know of. As I said, I'm starting to get the feeling that it might be racially motivated, because there is literally no other reason why she's randomly annoyed with me, with the exception of she doesn't like my cologne or something.

Thanks everyone else, even the smartarses. I guess that's what I'll do.

 

[Blackjack 222]

Suck it up, just something you need to deal with.
Every girl i ever went out with had a friend like that, asking her to stop sends her into this "Men are all sexist pigs" rage, or gets your girlfriend pissed. And confronting your wife/Girlfriend about it never works trust me.
But if shes not just hatin on men, shes jealous you took her place at center of attention

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I'm sorry, man, but if I had a friend who acted that way toward my boyfriend/husband without some serious reason, I would kick her to the curb. (Granted, my bff did this to my ex-husband, but he was abusive, and she helped me get away from him.)

I'd talk to your wife, first of all. Tell her how you feel. If this friend is truly a friend, your wife should be able to tell her "Hey, that's my husband, and you cannot treat him like this. It's disrespectful to him and to me."

 

[The_Healer]

Well I'm always up for a good old confrontation.

Pick your moment and the next time she says 'fuck off' or something of similar gravity, feel free to get angry. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that.

 

[Magic Cheese]

Punch that ***** in the face.

No, but in all seriousness... punch that ***** in the face.

 

[Gigaguy64]

Talk to your wife.

Tell her how you fell and talk to her about how while you respect her friendships you don't appreciate her not doing anything about her friends dislike of you.

If that woman really is a friend of your wife then she should also respect you as the husband of her friend.