NERD JOKES! 8D

[WOPR]

Come on people, we all know them! the nerdier the better!
I'll kick it off!

Spoiler: What did the Vampire say to the whiny emo chick?

Go ahead be negative. You'll be just my type...

Spoiler: A neutron walked into a bar and asked for a drink and the bar keep said...

For you? No charge!

Spoiler: What did the Black Knight say to the Justin Beiber fan

I like my weapons like I like my music... HEAVY and METAL!.. Not weak and poorly crafted

Spoiler: Why do nerds always get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

Spoiler: Two Hydrogen atoms were walking down the street. One atom trips and falls and says, Ohh Noo... I think I lost an electron! The other atom replies, are you sure? The first atoms exclaims...

"I'm Positive!"

Cpatcha = (Griswold eiablo

creepy... and makes me wanna play Diablo 2 lol

 

[Esotera]

From the original portal, in the final boss fight with Glados:

Spoiler

2+2 = 10. I'm right in base-4!

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

Schrodingers cat walks into a bar and doesnt.

 

[Dr Snakeman]

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him, "Hey, Rene, you wanna Scotch?"

Descartes replies, "No, I think not."

And then he vanishes.


or...


Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

 

[rabidmidget]

That Christmas/Halloween made me giggle.

Here's a fairly common but good one: "There's 10 kinds of people in the world, those who know binary and those who don't."

 

[Blue Hero]

Why should Kingdom Hearts 2 be considered pornographic?

Spoiler

Because you just X X X to score!

Ha haaaaaaa, that was terrible...

 

[Insanity72]

2 men walk into a bar the 1st one says

"I'll have some H20"

The second man says

"Yeah i'll have some H20 too"

The second man died

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

Spoiler: What do you call a lasgun with a torch attached?

What do you call a lasgun with a torch attached?

Twin linked!

Spoiler: Jesus saves...

Jesus saves...

The rest of you take full damage.

 

[Tautology]

Here's the best I could think of:

Spoiler: A turtle and a chicken walk into a bar. After sitting down, the turtle asks Would you like to hear a joke? Sure, replies the chicken. The turtle takes a deep breath and begins

Spoiler: A turtle and a chicken walk into a bar. After sitting down, the turtle asks Would you like to hear a joke? Sure, replies the chicken. The turtle takes a deep breath and begins

Spoiler: A turtle and a chicken walk into a bar. After sitting down, the turtle asks Would you like to hear a joke? Sure, replies the chicken. The turtle takes a deep breath and begins

Spoiler: A turtle and a chicken walk into a bar. After sitting down, the turtle asks Would you like to hear a joke? Sure, replies the chicken. The turtle takes a deep breath and begins

Spoiler: A turtle and a chicken walk into a bar. After sitting down, the turtle asks Would you like to hear a joke? Sure, replies the chicken. The turtle takes a deep breath and begins

Spoiler: A turtle and a chicken walk into a bar. After sitting down, the turtle asks Would you like to hear a joke? Sure, replies the chicken. The turtle takes a deep breath and begins

Spoiler: A turtle and a chicken walk into a bar. After sitting down, the turtle asks Would you like to hear a joke? Sure, replies the chicken. The turtle takes a deep breath and begins

Spoiler: A turtle and a chicken walk into a bar. After sitting down, the turtle asks Would you like to hear a joke? Sure, replies the chicken. The turtle takes a deep breath and begins

Spoiler: A turtle and a chicken walk into a bar. After sitting down, the turtle asks Would you like to hear a joke? Sure, replies the chicken. The turtle takes a deep breath and begins

Spoiler: A turtle and a chicken walk into a bar. After sitting down, the turtle asks Would you like to hear a joke? Sure, replies the chicken. The turtle takes a deep breath and begins

Continues into infinity. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

 

[HiC]

Come on people, we all know them! the nerdier the better!
I'll kick it off!

Spoiler: What did the Vampire say to the whiny emo chick?

Go ahead be negative. You'll be just my type...

I'm guessing someone plays league of legends

 

[HiC]

double post, move along

 

[WolfThomas]

Spoiler: Argon walks into a Bar, the Bartender says "Oy! We don't serve Noble Gases here!"

Argon doesn't react

 

[Tesral]

N^x and e^x are at a party, where N^x is having a good time and mingling with all the guests, but e^x is sitting it the corner by himself with a drink.
N^x: "Theres a great party going on and you're missing it! Come on, integrate yourself!"
e^x: "It won't make any difference!"

 

[Riku'sTwilight]

Not really 'jokes' but pick up lines:

http://hawtymcbloggy.com/2007/08/06/top-10-halo-pick-up-lines/

http://hawtymcbloggy.com/2008/05/07/ten-more-halo-pick-up-lines/

I've seen a machinma with these in, but I can't find it anywhere.. sad times

 

[DEAD34345]

Spoiler: There's 10 kinds of people in this world...

There's 10 kinds of people in this world...

Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

That one just got sighs and groans even in a room full of computing students.

 

[Knusper]

Spoiler: Why do nerds always get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

I've never got this one. I understand it's meant to be in base 10 and base 8, but surely the base 8 equivalent to 25 in base 10 is 20? Care to explain?

I would post one about binary, bit it seems to be taken?

 

[No_Remainders]

N^x and e^x are at a party, where N^x is having a good time and mingling with all the guests, but e^x is sitting it the corner by himself with a drink.
N^x: "Theres a great party going on and you're missing it! Come on, integrate yourself!"
e^x: "It won't make any difference!"

This one is the best thing EVER

Well done for making me actually LOL.

Spoiler: There's 10 kinds of people in this world...

There's 10 kinds of people in this world...

Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

That one just got sighs and groans even in a room full of computing students.

I quite like the xkcd one...

 

[Zantos]

Six quarks, three neutrinos, three leptons, a photon, three bosons and a gluon walk into a bar. Barman says "That's a big group, how did you get here?", top quark says "We drove down.", barman says "Wow, it must have been a massive car." Top says "Nah, just the standard model."

Spoiler: Why do nerds always get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

I've never got this one. I understand it's meant to be in base 10 and base 8, but surely the base 8 equivalent to 25 in base 10 is 20? Care to explain?

I would post one about binary, bit it seems to be taken?

Base 8 31 is 25 in base 10 ((3*8)+1). Also, base 8 25 is 21 in base 10.

 

[ExileNZ]

Schrodingers cat walks into a bar and doesnt.

Oh man, you just won the internets.

Okay, some linguistic nerdiness from me, particularly since this came from a real conversation at university:

A: If you meet a nice girl in Latin you could always invite her to conjugate.

B: But what if I get declined?

 

[Creator002]

Bit of a programmer one. Made me giggle when I first heard it.

Two strings walk into a bar. First string says, "Hi, I'd like a beer, thanks." Second string says, "Hey, I'd also like a beer.h<ajs+#a´qbs#äösaßt[0s znmüs0ß}s äö,ßns...
First string says, "Don't mind him. He isn't null termniated."