NERD JOKES! 8D

[Shoqiyqa]

e and PI are arguing. e tells PI to be rational. PI snaps back: "Get real!"

 

[doomspore98]

A thermometer walks up to a graduated cylinder and says you may have graduated but I have the degrees

 

[Bobic]

Heisenburg is speeding down the motorway one day and is pulled over by a cop

'Do you know how fast you were going?' The cop asks

Spoiler

'No' says Heisenburg 'But I can tell you precisely where I am'

 

[Quaxar]

Let's do something different here...

Gentlemen, I put it to you that this equation is not only mathematically valid but also a Limmerick.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/f/4/d/f4dac1a3f420578b1e3aeadac152f580.png

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

 

[Mr.Numbers]

Is the element Silicone the same in Spanish?
Si!
What about Sodium?
Na...

 

[MrLlamaLlama]

I'd share a chemistry joke with you all, but all the good ones argon.

 

[Spectral Dragon]

I once told a chemistry joke, but there was no reaction.

Your mother's so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceed 3*10^8 m/s

Hmm... I think that's it for now, but more are sure to follow.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

Let's do something different here...

Gentlemen, I put it to you that this equation is not only mathematically valid but also a Limmerick.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/f/4/d/f4dac1a3f420578b1e3aeadac152f580.png

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

lol splendid. i got the 2nd and 3rd line, but the other ones i wasn't sure on.


OT: unfortunately all my nerd jokes that i know have been said already.


the only one i can think of was from my chem professor a few weeks ago, when we were talking about MRI's and how it's supposed to have "N" for nuclear in it.

he said however, that they took it out so people wouldn't freak out about the word nuclear in it, that was why it didn't have the N in it.

He went on to explain that every scientist agreed that anytime someone heard the word nuclear they went atomic on you about it.

 

[M-E-D The Poet]

I'd share a chemistry joke with you all, but all the good ones argon.

OHOOH

I lol'd

 

[Shoqiyqa]

Let's do something different here...

Gentlemen, I put it to you that this equation is not only mathematically valid but also a Limmerick.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/f/4/d/f4dac1a3f420578b1e3aeadac152f580.png

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

I guessed all of it except the last few words, but, er ...

Spoiler: ...

(12+144+20+3(4^0.5))/7+(5*11)

= (176+3(2))/7+66

= 182/7 + 66

= 26 + 66

= 92

think it should have been (4x11) not (5x11).

 

[KefkaCultist]

Let's do something different here...

Gentlemen, I put it to you that this equation is not only mathematically valid but also a Limmerick.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/f/4/d/f4dac1a3f420578b1e3aeadac152f580.png

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

I guessed all of it except the last few words, but, er ...

Spoiler: ...

(12+144+20+3(4^0.5))/7+(5*11)

= (176+3(2))/7+66

= 182/7 + 66

= 26 + 66

= 92

think it should have been (4x11) not (5x11).

Err, (5x11) is 55 not 66 so it would come out to equal 81 which is 9^2

OT:

Spoiler: Why wasn't the lichen well liked by his peers?

Why wasn't the lichen well liked by his peers?

Because he's not a completely fungi

 

[GameChanger]

Let's do something different here...

Gentlemen, I put it to you that this equation is not only mathematically valid but also a Limmerick.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/f/4/d/f4dac1a3f420578b1e3aeadac152f580.png

A dozen, a gross, and a score
Plus three times the square root of four
Divided by seven
Plus five times eleven
Is nine squared and not a bit more.

I guessed all of it except the last few words, but, er ...

Spoiler: ...

(12+144+20+3(4^0.5))/7+(5*11)

= (176+3(2))/7+66

= 182/7 + 66

= 26 + 66

= 92

think it should have been (4x11) not (5x11).

Wasn't it 5*11 = 55 instead of 66?


EDIT: Ninja'd, feel free to remove blatantly unnecessary post.

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve Noble Gases here".

Argon doesn't react.

 

[MrJKapowey]

Spoiler: What do you call a lasgun with a torch attached?

What do you call a lasgun with a torch attached?

Twin linked!

Aaannd, why can't Las-Guns go full-auto?

The enemy might be epileptic.

 

[WOPR]

Come on people, we all know them! the nerdier the better!
I'll kick it off!

Spoiler: What did the Vampire say to the whiny emo chick?

Go ahead be negative. You'll be just my type...

I'm guessing someone plays league of legends

Maybe... and maybe I just bought riven with my 6300...

oh, and you have a bit of a double post there, you might wanna fix it before someone gets report happy

 

[WOPR]

Spoiler: Why do nerds always get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

I've never got this one. I understand it's meant to be in base 10 and base 8, but surely the base 8 equivalent to 25 in base 10 is 20? Care to explain?

I would post one about binary, bit it seems to be taken?

31 in octal (OCT) is the same as 25 in decimal (DEC)

kinda like how 10 in binary = 2 in numerical

 

[Tharwen]

Spoiler: What does a Java pirate say?

What does a Java pirate say?

"Aaarrrgs[]!"

 

[Shoqiyqa]

Err, (5x11) is 55 not 66 so it would come out to equal 81 which is 9^2

Wasn't it 5*11 = 55 instead of 66?

WTF?

I am having a bad week for reading numbers.

A few days ago, I checked a list that said I needed 22 of an object, coutned up the ones I had, got to 20, counted again, got to 20, checked the list again, saw 22, went and got two more, used up 20 of them, had two left, checked the list again and saw that it only said 20.

You know that game that tries to convince you you're going as mad as your character? I'd like to stop playing that now, please.

 

[Gxas]

A photon goes to a hotel.
The guy at the desk says, "Can I take your bags?"
The photon responds, "No. I'm travelling light."