New Space Hulk Game + Warhammer in general

[Acebars]

Enjoy....

So I completed this new overpriced game in less than a day and have a few things to say about it.

I'll start with the positives, I can think of only 1.

-The heads up camera display you get at the top right of the screen when you click on a Terminator and can see his actions...

...they should have made the main strategy screen a basic computerised radar screen (like the radar screen in Vengeance of the blood angels a very good game) that way you'd only be able to see the real action etc. through the camera/eyes of a terminator while retaining the board game element.


The rest..

-Game is bloody easy. Due to librarians and rerolls and the AI being moronic, I completed the whole game without reloads and without 1 terminator dying, I don't remember having so much luck in the very good teardown.se remake of this game that the arseholes at Games Workshops stopped with their army of lawyers, but you can still find copies online.

-They've just plugged the same old crap from Dawn of War and the Terminators hobble around like invalids. Same rubbish graphics, too much going on for the eye and rubbish audios.


NEW MANDATE

And now my grand fuck off to Warhammer 40k, Space Hulk and Games workshop and my new mandate to my marines.

1) What is the point of Terminator Armour if it is made of cheese and doesn't stop the genestealers claws, simply slowing the user down?

-Terminator armour will no longer be used in Space Hulks, normal or no marine armour will be used giving an extra 2 AP movement. This also frees up resources to use more marines and heavy weapons in missions.

2) Why has the emperor supplied us with faulty weaponry, Flamers with limited ammo, Basic bolters that jam and autocannons that blow up? Even WW2 weapons are more effective?

-These will be sent back to the emperor with a fuck you message attached, we will from now on upgrade our weapons, so they are actually accurate, do not jam and have adequate ammunition for the mission at hand.

The same goes with Terminator armour, when it receives a proper upgrade from cheese status it may be used.

Close quarters weaponry such as claws are useless as well given the Terminator armour is cheese and so is completely disgarded.

3) What the hell is the point of going into a Space Hulk to get a relic with some idiots blood left in a cup thats already dried out after 9000 years of being in a Space Hulk?

-This mission will be hereby cancelled altogether and all similar relics held by the chapter ejected into space.

4) What the hell is the point of going into a Space Hulk releasing poison gas to kill the brood only to escape the hulk later, how pointless?

-None of my marines will be allowed to leave the Space Hulk until it is completely clear, given they had a 0% casualty rate over 12 missions and maybe 500 genestealers killed in combat total, a chapter of 1000 marines should easily take over the Space Hulk in a month or so.

We are here to capture the hulk not pussy out.

5) Why the hell do the marines wear so much jewelry and relics?

-From now on this bullshit stops, the wearing of gangsta chains and other rapper g gold necklaces etc. is over. All relics and stupid flapping seals etc. are banned and discarded. You will dress as soldiers in proper uniform/armour this is not a fancy dress party.

6) You will cease making stupid statements about Honour, the Emperor, Faith, or what you're going to do, for example "I will Hold" only to crap your pants and die instantly. Space Marines are a bunch of prima dona fairies that talk too much and never deliver, so from now on the Bullshit rhetoric stops. There will be no Bull rhetoric only action under my command.

7) Ridiculous Latinised names will be banned, such as Michaelus and Aradiel. Only real Latin & Christian names are permitted. So Larcius, Michael or Tom etc. Michaelus is not a real Latin or Christian birth name it is the name of a butterfly.

8) The Space Hulk and names of other vessels will be changed from ridiculous ones, the Space Hulk we are assaulting is no longer called "the Sin of Damnation" but "HMS Trojan".

9) We hereby renounce our allegiance to the Empire, the Emperor and other forms of bullshit that have held mankind back for centuries. The idea of being a heretic or heresy is annulled.

-This gives us immunity from Chaos or other forms of bullshit because there is no temptation to give into, there is no such thing as heresy or non-heresy. Chaos has no effect on these marines, this is also why the Tau are unaffected by Chaos

10) Given our 0% loss rate in Combat and the new weapons we are arming with, the capture of the HMS Trojan is only a question of time.

11) Once we have re-captured the HMS Trojan, we will use it to free mankind from the Empire, but not through war, we will simply establish a trading federation allowing trade with other aliens (currently banned under the Empire) and one by one worlds will turn over from the fascist & economically stagnated Empire.

-Our duty will be to defend against the obvious Empire counter attack. Given that Space Marines are prima donnas, our new marines have captured the HMS Trojan and have grown some balls this should be no problem.

12) We will seek understanding and alliance with the Eldar and Tau so that a new dawn of civilisation may occur. They have been seeking this also.

13) Once we have captured the HMS Trojan we will go to the nearest inhabited planet with it to repopulate the ship, our Space Marines will mate as well so that we will be able to swell our numbers in the years to come.

14) There is the deep taint of homosexuality within the Chapters of the Space Marines.

-While we have no problems with homosexuality, we do have a problem with marines denying it, if a Space Marine is gay (which many are) the only thing asked of him will be that he has children like the others, other than that he is free to do what he wants with other space Marines.

Denial but actually being gay (as many space marines do/are) will result in being immobilised naked in a room with a Genestealer which has had its arms removed and only its sexual organ intact and functioning... punishment for dishonesty.

15) The gay name of the chapter "Blood Angels" is hereby banned, we are now called "Starship Troopers" until someone else thinks of a better name.

16) All fascist or tyrranical dogmas, insignias or regimes, be it Empire of Mankind, German, Japanese, Russian etc. will be banned. You may only wave British, American, Polish-Lithuanian or Austro-Hungarian flags as these have been civilised and democratic cultures in past history.

Our official flag is the British one but you may sport the flag of other civilised cultures.

You may not sport any ridiculous flags or insignias on your armour.

------------------------

I could go on but I'm out of time...

FUCK THE EMPEROR , GAMES WORKSHOP AND WARHAMMER 40K

 

[Racecarlock]

Did the 404 errors get you to double post too?

 

[Soviet Heavy]

Da fuck did I just read? So you want Warhammer 40K, without everything that makes it Warhammer 40k.

 

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

I would like the 30 seconds of my life that it took to scan that back please. As that is impossible, I will have to take it from your life. I shall do so by hunting you down and making you smoke a cigarette.

 

[Acebars]

Yes I got errors, sorry for the double post.

You just read my fuck off to Games Workshop...

 

[SilverStrike]

Why do you even like Warhammer 40k? Basically you want WW2 in space. With possibly lasers.
So.. go play that.
You're disregarding swathes of lore, and clearly show an ignorance for the entire thing.

But, I ain't going into detail. Someone on the internet is wrong.. Oh well. I'll live. Just go play something else, don't call Warhammer 40k shit and try to take away its individuality. That entire script of complaining was just.. completely pointless, unjustified, unnecessary, and.. Yeah. Just go play Company of Heroes or something.

 

[Shockolate]

So...take all the heart and uniqueness on the franchise and replace it with a generic machine with no spirit or creativity?

You must be Adeptus Mechanicus. Fuckin' heathen gear heads.

I knew they were heretics.

 

[TimeLord]

Spoiler

1) What is the point of Terminator Armour if it is made of cheese and doesn't stop the genestealers claws, simply slowing the user down?

-Terminator armour will no longer be used in Space Hulks, normal or no marine armour will be used giving an extra 2 AP movement. This also frees up resources to use more marines and heavy weapons in missions.

2) Why has the emperor supplied us with faulty weaponry, Flamers with limited ammo, Basic bolters that jam and autocannons that blow up? Even WW2 weapons are more effective?

-These will be sent back to the emperor with a fuck you message attached, we will from now on upgrade our weapons, so they are actually accurate, do not jam and have adequate ammunition for the mission at hand.

The same goes with Terminator armour, when it receives a proper upgrade from cheese status it may be used.

Close quarters weaponry such as claws are useless as well given the Terminator armour is cheese and so is completely disgarded.

You complain about the game being easy then ask why things are put in to make it harder exist?

3) What the hell is the point of going into a Space Hulk to get a relic with some idiots blood left in a cup thats already dried out after 9000 years of being in a Space Hulk?

-This mission will be hereby cancelled altogether and all similar relics held by the chapter ejected into space.

5) Why the hell do the marines wear so much jewelry and relics?

-From now on this bullshit stops, the wearing of gangsta chains and other rapper g gold necklaces etc. is over. All relics and stupid flapping seals etc. are banned and discarded. You will dress as soldiers in proper uniform/armour this is not a fancy dress party.

6) You will cease making stupid statements about Honour, the Emperor, Faith, or what you're going to do, for example "I will Hold" only to crap your pants and die instantly. Space Marines are a bunch of prima dona fairies that talk too much and never deliver, so from now on the Bullshit rhetoric stops. There will be no Bull rhetoric only action under my command.

7) Ridiculous Latinised names will be banned, such as Michaelus and Aradiel. Only real Latin & Christian names are permitted. So Larcius, Michael or Tom etc. Michaelus is not a real Latin or Christian birth name it is the name of a butterfly.

8) The Space Hulk and names of other vessels will be changed from ridiculous ones, the Space Hulk we are assaulting is no longer called "the Sin of Damnation" but "HMS Trojan".

9) We hereby renounce our allegiance to the Empire, the Emperor and other forms of bullshit that have held mankind back for centuries. The idea of being a heretic or heresy is annulled.

-This gives us immunity from Chaos or other forms of bullshit because there is no temptation to give into, there is no such thing as heresy or non-heresy. Chaos has no effect on these marines, this is also why the Tau are unaffected by Chaos

12) We will seek understanding and alliance with the Eldar and Tau so that a new dawn of civilisation may occur. They have been seeking this also.

13) Once we have captured the HMS Trojan we will go to the nearest inhabited planet with it to repopulate the ship, our Space Marines will mate as well so that we will be able to swell our numbers in the years to come.

14) There is the deep taint of homosexuality within the Chapters of the Space Marines.

-While we have no problems with homosexuality, we do have a problem with marines denying it, if a Space Marine is gay (which many are) the only thing asked of him will be that he has children like the others, other than that he is free to do what he wants with other space Marines.

Denial but actually being gay (as many space marines do/are) will result in being immobilised naked in a room with a Genestealer which has had its arms removed and only its sexual organ intact and functioning... punishment for dishonesty.

15) The gay name of the chapter "Blood Angels" is hereby banned, we are now called "Starship Troopers" until someone else thinks of a better name.

16) All fascist or tyrranical dogmas, insignias or regimes, be it Empire of Mankind, German, Japanese, Russian etc. will be banned. You may only wave British, American, Polish-Lithuanian or Austro-Hungarian flags as these have been civilised and democratic cultures in past history.

Our official flag is the British one but you may sport the flag of other civilised cultures.

You may not sport any ridiculous flags or insignias on your armour.

------------------------

I could go on but I'm out of time...

FUCK THE EMPEROR , GAMES WORKSHOP AND WARHAMMER 40K

Either you don't understand what makes 40k what it is or my sarcasm meter just went nuclear.

If those are legitimate grievances about the 40k universe then I suggest you find a different universe that doesn't annoy you so much, is more generic and less awesome.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well I don't know how you got mislead in this when it was made very clear, also in every review I've come across, that this is a 1 to 1 translation of the board game.
Yes the setup is all sorts of silly but that was always the setup, you just saved about $250 they will charge you for the table top game.

And far more to the point if you don't like Warhammer 40k why are you playing this at all...

 

[fish iron4]

It's quite clear that you really shouldn't be playing a 40k game if your mad at the idea of people with pieces of paper attached to their armour. Don't blame the franchise, but it really isn't your cup of tea which seems to be the case with quite a few people, it really is hit and miss on whether you will 'click' with it.

 

[Cecilo]

Enjoy....

So I completed this new overpriced game in less than a day and have a few things to say about it.

I'll start with the positives, I can think of only 1.

-The heads up camera display you get at the top right of the screen when you click on a Terminator and can see his actions...

...they should have made the main strategy screen a basic computerised radar screen (like the radar screen in Vengeance of the blood angels a very good game) that way you'd only be able to see the real action etc. through the camera/eyes of a terminator while retaining the board game element.


The rest..

-Game is bloody easy. Due to librarians and rerolls and the AI being moronic, I completed the whole game without reloads and without 1 terminator dying, I don't remember having so much luck in the very good teardown.se remake of this game that the arseholes at Games Workshops stopped with their army of lawyers, but you can still find copies online.

-They've just plugged the same old crap from Dawn of War and the Terminators hobble around like invalids. Same rubbish graphics, too much going on for the eye and rubbish audios.


NEW MANDATE

And now my grand fuck off to Warhammer 40k, Space Hulk and Games workshop and my new mandate to my marines.

1) What is the point of Terminator Armour if it is made of cheese and doesn't stop the genestealers claws, simply slowing the user down?

-Terminator armour will no longer be used in Space Hulks, normal or no marine armour will be used giving an extra 2 AP movement. This also frees up resources to use more marines and heavy weapons in missions.

2) Why has the emperor supplied us with faulty weaponry, Flamers with limited ammo, Basic bolters that jam and autocannons that blow up? Even WW2 weapons are more effective?

-These will be sent back to the emperor with a fuck you message attached, we will from now on upgrade our weapons, so they are actually accurate, do not jam and have adequate ammunition for the mission at hand.

The same goes with Terminator armour, when it receives a proper upgrade from cheese status it may be used.

Close quarters weaponry such as claws are useless as well given the Terminator armour is cheese and so is completely disgarded.

3) What the hell is the point of going into a Space Hulk to get a relic with some idiots blood left in a cup thats already dried out after 9000 years of being in a Space Hulk?

-This mission will be hereby cancelled altogether and all similar relics held by the chapter ejected into space.

4) What the hell is the point of going into a Space Hulk releasing poison gas to kill the brood only to escape the hulk later, how pointless?

-None of my marines will be allowed to leave the Space Hulk until it is completely clear, given they had a 0% casualty rate over 12 missions and maybe 500 genestealers killed in combat total, a chapter of 1000 marines should easily take over the Space Hulk in a month or so.

We are here to capture the hulk not pussy out.

5) Why the hell do the marines wear so much jewelry and relics?

-From now on this bullshit stops, the wearing of gangsta chains and other rapper g gold necklaces etc. is over. All relics and stupid flapping seals etc. are banned and discarded. You will dress as soldiers in proper uniform/armour this is not a fancy dress party.

6) You will cease making stupid statements about Honour, the Emperor, Faith, or what you're going to do, for example "I will Hold" only to crap your pants and die instantly. Space Marines are a bunch of prima dona fairies that talk too much and never deliver, so from now on the Bullshit rhetoric stops. There will be no Bull rhetoric only action under my command.

7) Ridiculous Latinised names will be banned, such as Michaelus and Aradiel. Only real Latin & Christian names are permitted. So Larcius, Michael or Tom etc. Michaelus is not a real Latin or Christian birth name it is the name of a butterfly.

8) The Space Hulk and names of other vessels will be changed from ridiculous ones, the Space Hulk we are assaulting is no longer called "the Sin of Damnation" but "HMS Trojan".

9) We hereby renounce our allegiance to the Empire, the Emperor and other forms of bullshit that have held mankind back for centuries. The idea of being a heretic or heresy is annulled.

-This gives us immunity from Chaos or other forms of bullshit because there is no temptation to give into, there is no such thing as heresy or non-heresy. Chaos has no effect on these marines, this is also why the Tau are unaffected by Chaos

10) Given our 0% loss rate in Combat and the new weapons we are arming with, the capture of the HMS Trojan is only a question of time.

11) Once we have re-captured the HMS Trojan, we will use it to free mankind from the Empire, but not through war, we will simply establish a trading federation allowing trade with other aliens (currently banned under the Empire) and one by one worlds will turn over from the fascist & economically stagnated Empire.

-Our duty will be to defend against the obvious Empire counter attack. Given that Space Marines are prima donnas, our new marines have captured the HMS Trojan and have grown some balls this should be no problem.

12) We will seek understanding and alliance with the Eldar and Tau so that a new dawn of civilisation may occur. They have been seeking this also.

13) Once we have captured the HMS Trojan we will go to the nearest inhabited planet with it to repopulate the ship, our Space Marines will mate as well so that we will be able to swell our numbers in the years to come.

14) There is the deep taint of homosexuality within the Chapters of the Space Marines.

-While we have no problems with homosexuality, we do have a problem with marines denying it, if a Space Marine is gay (which many are) the only thing asked of him will be that he has children like the others, other than that he is free to do what he wants with other space Marines.

Denial but actually being gay (as many space marines do/are) will result in being immobilised naked in a room with a Genestealer which has had its arms removed and only its sexual organ intact and functioning... punishment for dishonesty.

15) The gay name of the chapter "Blood Angels" is hereby banned, we are now called "Starship Troopers" until someone else thinks of a better name.

16) All fascist or tyrranical dogmas, insignias or regimes, be it Empire of Mankind, German, Japanese, Russian etc. will be banned. You may only wave British, American, Polish-Lithuanian or Austro-Hungarian flags as these have been civilised and democratic cultures in past history.

Our official flag is the British one but you may sport the flag of other civilised cultures.

You may not sport any ridiculous flags or insignias on your armour.

------------------------

I could go on but I'm out of time...

FUCK THE EMPEROR , GAMES WORKSHOP AND WARHAMMER 40K

I'll give it the old college try.

1) Space Hulks can have a whole variety of horrors aboard their ships, ranging from Daemons, to Cultists, to Insane Imperial Personal who now belong to chaos but don't worship chaos, to Tyranids (which include genestealers). It is hard to predict what will be aboard, Genestealers unfortunately have things called Rending Claws which makes them get a +3 to attacks against Terminator Armor.

Had it been Cultists, Daemons or other things, they would have been more than efficient. Why they wouldn't just swap out the gear, Space Marines with terminator honours don't typically switch back to old gear, their Terminator Armor is their armor. It's as intimate to them as a soldier's weapon.

2) Flamers have limited Ammo because you are in a giant Space Hulk, miles away from a resupply, I am sorry that other games have spoiled you, but ammo doesn't just pop out of thin air, and Flamer fuel isn't as compact as Bolter Rounds.

Further, the guns jam, because you are firing rapidly, constantly, coupled with the fact that the Imperium Barely even knows how ANYTHING works anymore, things break down. They do their best with what they have, but the Imperium is in decline until the Emperor dies and is reborn, or dies and the Imperium dies with him.

3) If the Blood Angels are going back to the Space Hulk, there are several possible reasons, recovery of gene seed which is required to make more Space Marines, it could be to stop Genestealers from infecting a nearby planet, or it could be a piece of technology which they can give to their tech priests to reverse engineer, or it could just be because. None of the Races in Warhammer 40k make much sense. Their reasons are their own.

4) I don't know what you are talking about here, as I haven't played the 2013 game yet. But no, you don't capture space hulks, the Warp has already claimed them, you cannot retrieve them, they will just re-enter the warp with any crew you have aboard, which without any psykers or astropaths, or functioning tech, will let the Daemons of the Warp eat you alive, or corrupt you, or enter your body and control you. Not the best of ideas.

5) Space Marines for the most part do not wear any jewelry, the relics such as the Chapter Banner, Iron Halo, Holy Relic, Adamantite Mantle, and Sacred Standard give benefits to the wearer, The Mantle would protect a Terminator from a Genestealer attack, The Chapter Banner instills loyalty and gives Morale to the squad, Holy Relic does the same thing but you won't usually find one with the Space Marines, it is more for Imperial Guard, The Iron Halo gives the wearer what basically equates to a Force Field, a very weak one, it interfaces with the power armor. And the Sacred Standard is a symbol of faith.

As for the gold you will find that many Space Marines have gold, silver, whatever else have you, to distinguish themselves as higher rank. You know, like medals on a 5 star general.

6) Has nothing to do with lore, Lets just make all our characters in all games grunt, no voice acting ever again.

7) This is how things are in the lore, if you don't like the lore of Warhammer 40k why are you playing it? Further, why would we use pure Christian names, the Imperial Faith is not Christianity, though it is implied that the Emperor might have started pretty much every religion in Earth's history to try to unite humanity, Christianity isn't what is worshiped now.

8) Again, this is how things are in the lore, if you wanted silly go play Saint's Row, if you wanted Psuedo Serious go play Halo, Warhammer is Warhammer.

9) You sound like a Heretic, The Emperor alone has kept humanity from being engulfed by chaos, further without the Emperor, mankind is doomed, without him no one holds the beacon for Warp Travel, meaning each and every system in the Imperium is stuck, in it's own solar system until someone can figure out a new form of FTL. Which will take a long time.

Further, not believing in the Emperor will not make you immune to the powers of the warp. The only people in the Imperium who are immune to the powers of the warp have a special gene called the Pariah Gene, the same gene that makes you susceptible to being turned into a Necron Pariah. Nulls are completely blank to the Warp, and the Imperium USED To have a entire force made up of Nulls, They died out in the Chaos Rebellion known as the Horus Heresy.

This is not the Dark Ages where inquisitors burned people alive for no good reason other than faith, in Warhammer 40k and Warhammer Fantasy, believing in the Chaos Gods will turn you into a cultist, with a very real connection to the dark gods, with very real powers.

10) No it isn't, it will disappear back into the warp with any troops you have aboard it. Congrats, you just lost 90% of your Chapter to Chaos, Thanks for empowering the dark gods.

11) See Number 9 and 10,

12) The Tau would welcome you, but you'd be treated little better than slaves, same with the Eldar who believe everyone is below them, further you aren't Imperial Guard, if you were you might do that, Space Marines are fiercely loyal to the Emperor. There have only been cases of Space Marines falling to Chaos, and one breaking off, sadly those Space Marines broke off from the Imperium during a Dark Crusade by the Forces of chaos, and thus there was no time to be peaceful and were promptly killed. You are one chapter of 1000 marines, you are going to lose. Sorry.

13) Space Marines can't mate, you are sterile.

14) See 14, Space Marines have no urges sexually. Any bond they have between their battle brothers comes from having to work with them, the rest of however long they live, which could be forever if you are good enough.

15) I think you are just trolling at this point, The Blood Angels are a founding chapter, from the first founding, they wouldn't change their name, especially not just for their Chapter Master. Their Primarch gave them the name, it stays. Forever.

16) All those names don't exist anymore, they were wiped out during the Dark Age of Technology and the following Warp Storm that separated Earth from the rest of colonies of humanity. If you are going to criticize the lore, please at least actually have some interest in the lore. It isn't nor should it be, COD, Halo, Modern Warfare, Gears of War, or whatever game you think it should be. If you have interest in Warhammer, play it, if not please kindly go back to whatever game you are trying to make it into.

Edit - Space Marines Can HAVE Sex, yes, but they are castrated chemically, they cannot produce sperm due to the heavy genetic manipulation required.

 

[Acebars]

Well I don't know how you got mislead in this when it was made very clear, also in every review I've come across, that this is a 1 to 1 translation of the board game.
Yes the setup is all sorts of silly but that was always the setup, you just saved about $250 they will charge you for the table top game.

It's actually a revised edition i.e. I remember flamers killing in one shot and not rolling, also don't remember a CP reroll ever, and I don't believe the actual physical board game has been on sale for many years now, in any case the issues I've raised that defeat sane logic & defy reason remain.

You complain about the game being easy then ask why things are put in to make it harder exist?

No I complain because I'm an insanely good commander and the AI is moronic (to debate this is to not have played the teardown.se version which has very good AI), but the Emperor and his bunch of moron zealots don't make it easy by giving us crap weaponry etc.

Cecilo it seems the deep Taint of Space Marine homosexuality lives deep within you, let's break down everything you've written and some of my points you've carefully omitted.

1) Space Hulks can have a whole variety of horrors aboard their ships, ranging from Daemons, to Cultists, to Insane Imperial Personal who now belong to chaos but don't worship chaos, to Tyranids (which include genestealers). It is hard to predict what will be aboard, Genestealers unfortunately have things called Rending Claws which makes them get a +3 to attacks against Terminator Armor.

Had it been Cultists, Daemons or other things, they would have been more than efficient. Why they wouldn't just swap out the gear, Space Marines with terminator honours don't typically switch back to old gear, their Terminator Armor is their armor. It's as intimate to them as a soldier's weapon.

Well that's a load of bollocks, if you play Vengeance of the Blood Angels (now renamed vengeance of the Starship Troopers) you will know that a basic Chaos Space Marine is much better at killing a Terminator with his bolter than a Genestealer is and that the Terminator is worse than the basic Chaos marine. Terminator armour is made of cheese.

If these rending claws are so great given my team have killed hundreds of thousands of Genestealers, we will now weld the rending claws to our terminator armour thus making us impervious to them. So that bullshit is sorted.

2) Flamers have limited Ammo because you are in a giant Space Hulk, miles away from a resupply, I am sorry that other games have spoiled you, but ammo doesn't just pop out of thin air, and Flamer fuel isn't as compact as Bolter Rounds.

Well this is completely invalid because even the most rudimentary basic flamethrower in WW2 had at least 20 bursts.

Given that ammo doesn't pop out of thin air how are my bolters firing maybe thousands of rounds and still being unlimited in capacity?

Also why supply us with an Autocannon that blows up when you use it?

Further, the guns jam, because you are firing rapidly constantly

We have come to the point in modern armaments that very few guns if ever jam. Considering this is advanced technology Millenia ahead why the hell are the guns jamming so much? = because they are made of bullshit. I could supply 1 terminator with for example a minigun usually attached to the side of Huey Helicopter and he could complete all the missions on his own.

coupled with the fact that the Imperium Barely even knows how ANYTHING works anymore, things break down. They do their best with what they have, but the Imperium is in decline until the Emperor dies and is reborn, or dies and the Imperium dies with him.

This is precisely because of the Bullshit empire and its Inquisatorial Ordos and Adeptus Mechanicus whose monopolies have literally stagnated technological progress and sent humans down the path of religious fascistic ignorance. My marines are banned from believing their weapons have "machine spirits" or that the emperor somehow guides their weapon unjamming. Any human advancement is either deemed a Heresy or patented and locked behind closed doors by the Adeptus Mechanicus.

Truly the age of ignorance, which we will of course change by capturing the Space hulk.

But no, you don't capture space hulks, the Warp has already claimed them, you cannot retrieve them, they will just re-enter the warp with any crew you have aboard, which without any psykers or astropaths, or functioning tech, will let the Daemons of the Warp eat you alive, or corrupt you, or enter your body and control you. Not the best of ideas.

Bullshit Humans built the Space Hulks, and the wimps Blood Angels lost it. Due to the fact we no longer accept the Bullshit dogma of heresy, we like the Tau will have no problems capturing the Space Hulk to save humanity from bullshit. "Resistance is Persistance" and without trying to resist, the Chaos bullshit is has no power, the Tau and Eldar know this well.

5) Space Marines for the most part do not wear any jewelry, the relics such as the Chapter Banner, Iron Halo, Holy Relic, Adamantite Mantle, and Sacred Standard give benefits to the wearer, The Mantle would protect a Terminator from a Genestealer attack, The Chapter Banner instills loyalty and gives Morale to the squad, Holy Relic does the same thing but you won't usually find one with the Space Marines, it is more for Imperial Guard, The Iron Halo gives the wearer what basically equates to a Force Field, a very weak one, it interfaces with the power armor. And the Sacred Standard is a symbol of faith.

As for the gold you will find that many Space Marines have gold, silver, whatever else have you, to distinguish themselves as higher rank. You know, like medals on a 5 star general.

No it's because they are wanabe gangstas they want to have bitches and wear chains, but they are in fact a load of prima donna fags, as soon as I kicked my marines up the ass and told them to take that crap off they began performing much better in battle.

6) Has nothing to do with lore, Lets just make all our characters in all games grunt, no voice acting ever again.

No crap voice acting, vengeance of the starship troopers had good voice acting.

7) This is how things are in the lore, if you don't like the lore of Warhammer 40k why are you playing it? Further, why would we use pure Christian names, the Imperial Faith is not Christianity, though it is implied that the Emperor might have started pretty much every religion in Earth's history to try to unite humanity, Christianity isn't what is worshiped now.

My marines are banned from talking crap.

Errr as for names? They are using latinised names? Nothing to do with religion. Adding -us and -um at the end of a word does NOT make them into a legitimate name. Bullshitus, arsholius, fagotron need I go?

9) You sound like a Heretic, The Emperor alone has kept humanity from being engulfed by chaos, further without the Emperor, mankind is doomed, without him no one holds the beacon for Warp Travel, meaning each and every system in the Imperium is stuck, in it's own solar system until someone can figure out a new form of FTL. Which will take a long time.

Further, not believing in the Emperor will not make you immune to the powers of the warp. The only people in the Imperium who are immune to the powers of the warp have a special gene called the Pariah Gene, the same gene that makes you susceptible to being turned into a Necron Pariah. Nulls are completely blank to the Warp, and the Imperium USED To have a entire force made up of Nulls, They died out in the Chaos Rebellion known as the Horus Heresy.

This is not the Dark Ages where inquisitors burned people alive for no good reason other than faith, in Warhammer 40k and Warhammer Fantasy, believing in the Chaos Gods will turn you into a cultist, with a very real connection to the dark gods, with very real powers.

Blah blah blah, bullshit. You sound like a Space Marine with the Chaos taint of rabid homosexuality. You will be raped by a de-limbed Genestealer accordingly..

I know what the Horus Heresy is, more Chaos bullshit. Again like Tau once you don't believe in Bullshit it ceases to affect you, goodbye chaos bullshit.

10) No it isn't, it will disappear back into the warp with any troops you have aboard it. Congrats, you just lost 90% of your Chapter to Chaos, Thanks for empowering the dark gods.

Err no thats because every chapter has been too pussy to follow through. My new marines have no problem taking over the ship and with the command deck back in our control with no inquisitor or adeptus mechanicus arseholes to interfere we will set a new course.

The Tau would welcome you, but you'd be treated little better than slaves, same with the Eldar who believe everyone is below them, further you aren't Imperial Guard, if you were you might do that, Space Marines are fiercely loyal to the Emperor. There have only been cases of Space Marines falling to Chaos, and one breaking off, sadly those Space Marines broke off from the Imperium during a Dark Crusade by the Forces of chaos, and thus there was no time to be peaceful and were promptly killed. You are one chapter of 1000 marines, you are going to lose. Sorry.

The eldar being very advanced just hate ignorant morons thats all, and the Imperium of man is just that. As soon as they meet with a sane group of humans who are intelligent and now can work for the greater good they will of course join, as will Billions of human worlds freed from the Emperors bullshit. With our Space Hulk HMS Trojan back online fully populated, repaired and systems functioning we will have no problems defeating any of what the Empire will throw at us.

The Tau do not enslave people, that is Imperial propaganda, they do not use servitors and slaves, the Empire does that. We are all working for the greater good.

---------------------------

So basically fuck the Empire and Games Workshop. May the Imperial clergy tremble with fear the reformation to save humanity has come, and I the former leader of the Blood Angels now temporarily renamed the Starship troopers am leading it.

Such great models, such a crap universe.

Remember...

Denial but actually being gay (as many space marines do/are) will result in being immobilised naked in a room with a Genestealer which has had its arms removed and only its sexual organ intact and functioning... punishment for dishonesty.

 

[Cecilo]

Well I don't know how you got mislead in this when it was made very clear, also in every review I've come across, that this is a 1 to 1 translation of the board game.
Yes the setup is all sorts of silly but that was always the setup, you just saved about $250 they will charge you for the table top game.

It's actually a revised edition i.e. I remember flamers killing in one shot and not rolling, also don't remember a CP reroll ever, and I don't believe the actual physical board game has been on sale for many years now, in any case the issues I've raised that defeat sane logic & defy reason remain.

You complain about the game being easy then ask why things are put in to make it harder exist?

No I complain because I'm an insanely good commander and the AI is moronic (to debate this is to not have played the teardown.se version which has very good AI), but the Emperor and his bunch of moron zealots don't make it easy by giving us crap weaponry etc.

Cecilo it seems the deep Taint of Space Marine homosexuality lives deep within you, let's break down everything you've written and some of my points you've carefully omitted.

1) Space Hulks can have a whole variety of horrors aboard their ships, ranging from Daemons, to Cultists, to Insane Imperial Personal who now belong to chaos but don't worship chaos, to Tyranids (which include genestealers). It is hard to predict what will be aboard, Genestealers unfortunately have things called Rending Claws which makes them get a +3 to attacks against Terminator Armor.

Had it been Cultists, Daemons or other things, they would have been more than efficient. Why they wouldn't just swap out the gear, Space Marines with terminator honours don't typically switch back to old gear, their Terminator Armor is their armor. It's as intimate to them as a soldier's weapon.

Well that's a load of bollocks, if you play Vengeance of the Blood Angels (now renamed vengeance of the Starship Troopers) you will know that a basic Chaos Space Marine is much better at killing a Terminator with his bolter than a Genestealer is and that the Terminator is worse than the basic Chaos marine. Terminator armour is made of cheese.

If these rending claws are so great given my team have killed hundreds of thousands of Genestealers, we will now weld the rending claws to our terminator armour thus making us impervious to them. So that bullshit is sorted.

2) Flamers have limited Ammo because you are in a giant Space Hulk, miles away from a resupply, I am sorry that other games have spoiled you, but ammo doesn't just pop out of thin air, and Flamer fuel isn't as compact as Bolter Rounds.

Well this is completely invalid because even the most rudimentary basic flamethrower in WW2 had at least 20 bursts.

Given that ammo doesn't pop out of thin air how are my bolters firing maybe thousands of rounds and still being unlimited in capacity?

Also why supply us with an Autocannon that blows up when you use it?

Further, the guns jam, because you are firing rapidly constantly

We have come to the point in modern armaments that very few guns if ever jam. Considering this is advanced technology Millenia ahead why the hell are the guns jamming so much? = because they are made of bullshit. I could supply 1 terminator with for example a minigun usually attached to the side of Huey Helicopter and he could complete all the missions on his own.

coupled with the fact that the Imperium Barely even knows how ANYTHING works anymore, things break down. They do their best with what they have, but the Imperium is in decline until the Emperor dies and is reborn, or dies and the Imperium dies with him.

This is precisely because of the Bullshit empire and its Inquisatorial Ordos and Adeptus Mechanicus whose monopolies have literally stagnated technological progress and sent humans down the path of religious fascistic ignorance. My marines are banned from believing their weapons have "machine spirits" or that the emperor somehow guides their weapon unjamming. Any human advancement is either deemed a Heresy or patented and locked behind closed doors by the Adeptus Mechanicus.

Truly the age of ignorance, which we will of course change by capturing the Space hulk.

But no, you don't capture space hulks, the Warp has already claimed them, you cannot retrieve them, they will just re-enter the warp with any crew you have aboard, which without any psykers or astropaths, or functioning tech, will let the Daemons of the Warp eat you alive, or corrupt you, or enter your body and control you. Not the best of ideas.

Bullshit Humans built the Space Hulks, and the wimps Blood Angels lost it. Due to the fact we no longer accept the Bullshit dogma of heresy, we like the Tau will have no problems capturing the Space Hulk to save humanity from bullshit. "Resistance is Persistance" and without trying to resist, the Chaos bullshit is has no power, the Tau and Eldar know this well.

5) Space Marines for the most part do not wear any jewelry, the relics such as the Chapter Banner, Iron Halo, Holy Relic, Adamantite Mantle, and Sacred Standard give benefits to the wearer, The Mantle would protect a Terminator from a Genestealer attack, The Chapter Banner instills loyalty and gives Morale to the squad, Holy Relic does the same thing but you won't usually find one with the Space Marines, it is more for Imperial Guard, The Iron Halo gives the wearer what basically equates to a Force Field, a very weak one, it interfaces with the power armor. And the Sacred Standard is a symbol of faith.

As for the gold you will find that many Space Marines have gold, silver, whatever else have you, to distinguish themselves as higher rank. You know, like medals on a 5 star general.

No it's because they are wanabe gangstas they want to have bitches and wear chains, but they are in fact a load of prima donna fags, as soon as I kicked my marines up the ass and told them to take that crap off they began performing much better in battle.

6) Has nothing to do with lore, Lets just make all our characters in all games grunt, no voice acting ever again.

No crap voice acting, vengeance of the starship troopers had good voice acting.

7) This is how things are in the lore, if you don't like the lore of Warhammer 40k why are you playing it? Further, why would we use pure Christian names, the Imperial Faith is not Christianity, though it is implied that the Emperor might have started pretty much every religion in Earth's history to try to unite humanity, Christianity isn't what is worshiped now.

My marines are banned from talking crap.

Errr as for names? They are using latinised names? Nothing to do with religion. Adding -us and -um at the end of a word does NOT make them into a legitimate name. Bullshitus, arsholius, fagotron need I go?

9) You sound like a Heretic, The Emperor alone has kept humanity from being engulfed by chaos, further without the Emperor, mankind is doomed, without him no one holds the beacon for Warp Travel, meaning each and every system in the Imperium is stuck, in it's own solar system until someone can figure out a new form of FTL. Which will take a long time.

Further, not believing in the Emperor will not make you immune to the powers of the warp. The only people in the Imperium who are immune to the powers of the warp have a special gene called the Pariah Gene, the same gene that makes you susceptible to being turned into a Necron Pariah. Nulls are completely blank to the Warp, and the Imperium USED To have a entire force made up of Nulls, They died out in the Chaos Rebellion known as the Horus Heresy.

This is not the Dark Ages where inquisitors burned people alive for no good reason other than faith, in Warhammer 40k and Warhammer Fantasy, believing in the Chaos Gods will turn you into a cultist, with a very real connection to the dark gods, with very real powers.

Blah blah blah, bullshit. You sound like a Space Marine with the Chaos taint of rabid homosexuality. You will be raped by a de-limbed Genestealer accordingly..

I know what the Horus Heresy is, more Chaos bullshit. Again like Tau once you don't believe in Bullshit it ceases to affect you, goodbye chaos bullshit.

10) No it isn't, it will disappear back into the warp with any troops you have aboard it. Congrats, you just lost 90% of your Chapter to Chaos, Thanks for empowering the dark gods.

Err no thats because every chapter has been too pussy to follow through. My new marines have no problem taking over the ship and with the command deck back in our control with no inquisitor or adeptus mechanicus arseholes to interfere we will set a new course.

The Tau would welcome you, but you'd be treated little better than slaves, same with the Eldar who believe everyone is below them, further you aren't Imperial Guard, if you were you might do that, Space Marines are fiercely loyal to the Emperor. There have only been cases of Space Marines falling to Chaos, and one breaking off, sadly those Space Marines broke off from the Imperium during a Dark Crusade by the Forces of chaos, and thus there was no time to be peaceful and were promptly killed. You are one chapter of 1000 marines, you are going to lose. Sorry.

The eldar being very advanced just hate ignorant morons thats all, and the Imperium of man is just that. As soon as they meet with a sane group of humans who are intelligent and now can work for the greater good they will of course join, as will Billions of human worlds freed from the Emperors bullshit. With our Space Hulk HMS Trojan back online fully populated, repaired and systems functioning we will have no problems defeating any of what the Empire will throw at us.

The Tau do not enslave people, that is Imperial propaganda, they do not use servitors and slaves, the Empire does that. We are all working for the greater good.

---------------------------

So basically fuck the Empire and Games Workshop. May the Imperial clergy tremble with fear the reformation to save humanity has come, and I the former leader of the Blood Angels now temporarily renamed the Starship troopers am leading it.

Such great models, such a crap universe.

Remember...

Denial but actually being gay (as many space marines do/are) will result in being immobilised naked in a room with a Genestealer which has had its arms removed and only its sexual organ intact and functioning... punishment for dishonesty.

Just for kicks, and in the interest of trying to get you to see that the Tau and Eldar aren't perfect.

The Eldar almost destroyed our galaxy because of the amount of hedonism they displayed, creating the Chaos God Slaanesh. 90% of their race now live in "The Eye", who then have to kill, rape, torture, or otherwise just do unspeakable acts of horror to slaves, or to each other, because if they don't Slaanesh will claim their souls.

The last 10% Of their race is willing to sacrifice billions of innocent human lives, ork lives, Tau, pretty much everyone other than Eldar (Except Dark Eldar) if it means saving a single craft world, because if they let a craft world and their soul conduit be destroyed, it means they get to suffer for eternity in Slaanesh's realm, or stomach, or slave pits.

The Tau act so goody goody because the Ethereal caste basically enslaves the rest of the Tau. They emit a pheromone which forces anyone that is not of the Ethereal Caste to obey. It is why any Tau strike force requires an Ethereal with them, if they don't have one they are likely to rebel. It is also why the Tau have recruited the Kroot and Vespid Mercenaries, it is easier to use them as cannon fodder than risk losing Tau and by extension their Ethereals.

In fact there has been a Tau Force that rebelled from the "Greater Good" Funny how it happened after their Ethereal died hmm? His name was Shas'O Vior'la Shovah Kais Mont'yr, also known as Farsight.

And Again, no, the Tau aren't afflicted by Chaos because it doesn't effect them, not because they don't believe, but because they are for all intents and purposes Nulls. Nulls CAN'T be effected by Chaos, At all, in any shape or form. Speculation on the issue is that the Eldar decided to muck with Tau DNA in their infancy. Which is all well and good, except it means that the Tau are basically giant walking potential Necrons. As good as they are for fighting the Forces of Chaos, it means that if the Necrons get anywhere near them, we will have a even worse threat on our hands, which is Necrons. Who want to exterminate all life in the galaxy, just like everything else.