normal to be in love but still roused by guys that talk to you? (never cheat but have bodyreactions)

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polly95

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Feb 15, 2014
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i feel in love with my husband 100% but i still have really strong feelings down there when guys are talking with me including neighbours and servicemen. i changed to a female massage therapist since married to be safe from this. i think its just my body anyway not my mind. does it happen to you after marriage too?
 

DudeistBelieve

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Sep 9, 2010
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I think physical attraction is independent from love, and it is that very thing- Love- that keeps someone from cheating. Maybe a sense of loyalty too. Actually I'd say loyalty and Love are the to biggest things. If neither of those matter to you, ya know, right on. Should probably let the bloke know.

However, both of those qualities, to me are vital to my identity. Even if I was in the most unworkable marriage, I couldn't cheat behind someones back. Just ain't right, dishonest.

all that said, physical attraction? Whats the harm so long as you don't act on it. Puritans will tell you if your cheating in your mind it's still cheating but thats plain unreasonable.
 

Ratty

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Jan 21, 2014
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We have an old expression in the states pertaining to people who are married being attracted to others. "I'm married, not dead." Looking but not touching is a time honored tradition. Getting married doesn't change your biology.
 

Caiphus

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Mar 31, 2010
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Ratty said:
"I'm married, not dead."
Indeed. That ring on your finger won't stop your junk from working. Hormones and all. Especially if the number in the OP's username is an indication that she was born in 1995, and not just a product of RNG.

You and your husband should probably come up with ground rules for what is and isn't acceptable in terms of, you know, this kind of stuff. If you can't, then it probably doesn't bode well for your relationship, methinks. :/
 

polly95

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Feb 15, 2014
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thanks for the answers! i will happily read+reply in a few more hours but parents are here for now. catch you later :)
 

polly95

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SaneAmongInsane said:
I think physical attraction is independent from love, and it is that very thing- Love- that keeps someone from cheating. Maybe a sense of loyalty too. Actually I'd say loyalty and Love are the to biggest things. If neither of those matter to you, ya know, right on. Should probably let the bloke know.

However, both of those qualities, to me are vital to my identity. Even if I was in the most unworkable marriage, I couldn't cheat behind someones back. Just ain't right, dishonest.

all that said, physical attraction? Whats the harm so long as you don't act on it. Puritans will tell you if your cheating in your mind it's still cheating but thats plain unreasonable.
i agree love is loyalty. i was just afraid that because my legs have that feeling i might not stop some1 if he touches there (it happened before i was married -my friend's bf touched underneath my dress!). at that time hubby (my bf back then) had only just quit teaching at my school. so we were not officially a couple i guess but were kissing.

Ratty said:
We have an old expression in the states pertaining to people who are married being attracted to others. "I'm married, not dead." Looking but not touching is a time honored tradition. Getting married doesn't change your biology.
i agree my mind says "go away" and my pants say "oh la la".
 

polly95

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Feb 15, 2014
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Caiphus said:
Ratty said:
"I'm married, not dead."
Indeed. That ring on your finger won't stop your junk from working. Hormones and all. Especially if the number in the OP's username is an indication that she was born in 1995, and not just a product of RNG.

You and your husband should probably come up with ground rules for what is and isn't acceptable in terms of, you know, this kind of stuff. If you can't, then it probably doesn't bode well for your relationship, methinks. :/
good idea to makes rules. its hard to tell because my husband has shown my underwear to his friends. or not showed but he touched my legs so my skirt was up, so maybe he is relaxed about other guys a bit sometimes. do hormones stop growing stronger soon? mine have been more needy since 15 and now more at 19. but maybe because my husband is into physical always so he unlocks me more. i started staring at him when i was 16.
 

Caiphus

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polly95 said:
good idea to makes rules. its hard to tell because my husband has shown my underwear to his friends. or not showed but he touched my legs so my skirt was up
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. And were you okay with him doing that?
polly95 said:
, so maybe he is relaxed about other guys a bit sometimes. do hormones stop growing stronger soon? mine have been more needy since 15 and now more at 19. but maybe because my husband is into physical always so he unlocks me more.
I have no idea, you would need to ask a woman. A cursory google search of "female sex drive" suggests that it varies between women (naturally) but can increase as you get older[footnote]http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2007422,00.html[/footnote]. From my experience, however, sexuality can be confusing during the late teenage years, so there's a chance that you're just inexperienced with regards to sexual arousal? I'm really very likely talking out of my arse at this point.

In any case, although your libido may not decrease, you should hopefully find yourself more comfortable with your sexuality as you age, is what I'm trying to say.
 

polly95

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Feb 15, 2014
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Caiphus said:
polly95 said:
good idea to makes rules. its hard to tell because my husband has shown my underwear to his friends. or not showed but he touched my legs so my skirt was up
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh. And were you okay with him doing that?
polly95 said:
, so maybe he is relaxed about other guys a bit sometimes. do hormones stop growing stronger soon? mine have been more needy since 15 and now more at 19. but maybe because my husband is into physical always so he unlocks me more.
I have no idea, you would need to ask a woman. A cursory google search of "female sex drive" suggests that it varies between women (naturally) but can increase as you get older[footnote]http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2007422,00.html[/footnote]. From my experience, however, sexuality can be confusing during the late teenage years, so there's a chance that you're just inexperienced with regards to sexual arousal? I'm really very likely talking out of my arse at this point.

In any case, although your libido may not decrease, you should hopefully find yourself more comfortable with your sexuality as you age, is what I'm trying to say.
i hope so. i guess hubby is not that much better with age lol still cannot stop bursting. but i guess he feels less guilt than me :)
 

DudeistBelieve

TellEmSteveDave.com
Sep 9, 2010
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polly95 said:
SaneAmongInsane said:
I think physical attraction is independent from love, and it is that very thing- Love- that keeps someone from cheating. Maybe a sense of loyalty too. Actually I'd say loyalty and Love are the to biggest things. If neither of those matter to you, ya know, right on. Should probably let the bloke know.

However, both of those qualities, to me are vital to my identity. Even if I was in the most unworkable marriage, I couldn't cheat behind someones back. Just ain't right, dishonest.

all that said, physical attraction? Whats the harm so long as you don't act on it. Puritans will tell you if your cheating in your mind it's still cheating but thats plain unreasonable.
i agree love is loyalty. i was just afraid that because my legs have that feeling i might not stop some1 if he touches there (it happened before i was married -my friend's bf touched underneath my dress!). at that time hubby (my bf back then) had only just quit teaching at my school. so we were not officially a couple i guess but were kissing.

Ratty said:
We have an old expression in the states pertaining to people who are married being attracted to others. "I'm married, not dead." Looking but not touching is a time honored tradition. Getting married doesn't change your biology.
i agree my mind says "go away" and my pants say "oh la la".
polly95 said:
Caiphus said:
Ratty said:
"I'm married, not dead."
Indeed. That ring on your finger won't stop your junk from working. Hormones and all. Especially if the number in the OP's username is an indication that she was born in 1995, and not just a product of RNG.

You and your husband should probably come up with ground rules for what is and isn't acceptable in terms of, you know, this kind of stuff. If you can't, then it probably doesn't bode well for your relationship, methinks. :/
good idea to makes rules. its hard to tell because my husband has shown my underwear to his friends. or not showed but he touched my legs so my skirt was up, so maybe he is relaxed about other guys a bit sometimes. do hormones stop growing stronger soon? mine have been more needy since 15 and now more at 19. but maybe because my husband is into physical always so he unlocks me more. i started staring at him when i was 16.
...Okay, I'm calling it. Joke topic. Between this and the avatar.

Because clearly what you've implied in this topic is that your alleged hubby was your teacher, that you've been staring at since you were underage. Well played.
 

polly95

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Feb 15, 2014
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i thought online it would be ok to be honest instead of hiding us like always but no.
 

Padwolf

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Hey, I've seen your other thread and I have to ask, what brought you to this particular website to ask your questions? There are plenty of forum websites around, some that are dedicated to relationship advice and whatnot. What in particular brought you to a gaming website?
 

polly95

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Padwolf said:
Hey, I've seen your other thread and I have to ask, what brought you to this particular website to ask your questions? There are plenty of forum websites around, some that are dedicated to relationship advice and whatnot. What in particular brought you to a gaming website?
i like off-topic in case i think of a topic like a tv show or sports. nice to have all my questions in the one place:)
 

Fox12

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Jun 6, 2013
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SaneAmongInsane said:
polly95 said:
SaneAmongInsane said:
i agree my mind says "go away" and my pants say "oh la la".
...Okay, I'm calling it. Joke topic. Between this and the avatar.

Because clearly what you've implied in this topic is that your alleged hubby was your teacher, that you've been staring at since you were underage. Well played.
Yeah, I wasn't sure if she was being serious before, but it seems pretty clear now...

Poes law at work I suppose.
 

IceForce

Is this memes?
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Dec 11, 2012
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I'm pretty sure this is a Poe.

Between this thread and the other one, it's clear someone is just having a joke at our expense.
 

Reincarnatedwolfgod

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Jan 17, 2011
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polly95 said:
good idea to makes rules. its hard to tell because my husband has shown my underwear to his friends. or not showed but he touched my legs so my skirt was up, so maybe he is relaxed about other guys a bit sometimes. do hormones stop growing stronger soon? mine have been more needy since 15 and now more at 19. but maybe because my husband is into physical always so he unlocks me more. i started staring at him when i was 16.
... wut
between seeing last thread and this one I have no clue how to respond. I am half convinced this all a joke but it seems quite probable that you could be completely serious.
If you're completely serious then I wish we luck in your future.

polly95 said:
i thought online it would be ok to be honest instead of hiding us like always but no.
half the problem is that it's hard to tell if you're being serious or if this a one big joke.