I over think things quite often as well, and that has contributed to some bouts of distress I've been dealing with for nearly 2 years (especially the last year) regarding my sexuality and, more recently, my gender. Despite me having a very open, understanding view of the subject, I still tend to suffer from insecurity. It's hard not to sometimes, because I have constantly have to deal with the expectations and judgments of others. Am I really bisexual if I catch myself finding particular things unattractive? Am I a girl if I enjoy crossdressing? Or is that just a kink? But what if at times it feels like it's more then a kink? And what if some days I just go out with a pair of gym shorts, some old shitty t-shirt, with filthy looking hair stubble all over my face and enjoy shouting obscenities at my friends while cramming myself full with pizza?poppabaggins said:
Eventually I realized those are stupid fucking questions, and that I should just do whatever I want (as long as it doesn't infringe on the rights of others, like you said). Sure, it's interesting to analyze the complicated nature of sexuality, but it's also important to know that your findings don't necessarily apply to your own sexuality or others', because despite all of the studies, we still really have no idea why people like who they like. It's a complex relationship between biology, culture, symbolism, emotion and an endless slew of other things. The only labels that I can seem to find that embrace the open-ended, evolving nature of sexuality seem to be pansexual and genderqueer, so for now I just use those to describe myself. They are ambiguous terms, and that's why I like them.
