offended by the word fat?

[Realitycrash]

I'm a woman of normal weight. (according to my body-weight index, anyway)

But I've been called fat all my life, because apparently the society's image of 'fat' means people like me and it's okay to make fun of my weight...

My best friend, on the other hand, is overweight. I wouldn't call him fat, I'd call him overweight (which he clearly is).

If your skin is so thin and your ego is so sensitive that you get hurt when someone describes you as fat, then you probably just need to focus less on your body weight and more on prioritizing your goals in your life and not getting offended by a fucking word.

In my case anyway it's not exactly that I get offended, just depressed that the ideal-body-image for women (and how important their weight is) is what it is in the culture I live in.

Trust me, it's equally depressing for men to see what our ideal-body-image is. It's just that apparently no-one likes to talk about it.
It's seriously angers me when I see all the documentaries and .gifs made about female body-image and the eating-disorders they generate, and they never, ever mention the same issues for men.
Apparently, my disorders aren't important.

 

[Vegosiux]

Why is pointing out someone's flaws considered offensive?

We don't like hearing negative facts about ourselves. Let's say someone called me a loser for not being able to get a job. Yeah, that would offend me for some weird reason. It doesn't take much social skills to see this would offend someone. I am a retard when it comes to social situations. I understand this.

The point is more, what's with this need to point someone's flaws out even when they are in no way related to your life? That old couple down the street that you never talk to and might as well not exist as far as you're concerned? What's the point of going out of your way to point out that they're not really the personification of the modern perception of beauty?

It's a waste of time and effort.

PS: I'm asking rhetorically, I already know most of needless remarks about other people's flaws serves only to stroke one's own ego.

And because I'm tall, I'm told "You're tall" by strangers very often. It's not offensive, but after person number 9001 says it, it does get wearying and annoying.

Yeah. Happens to me too. And one day, one day...one day, I'll raise my arms in the air, jump, and go "Congraaaaatulations, you are the millionth person to tell me this in the span of this decade! Here, have a cookie for your incredible luckiness, you lucky bugger you!"

That'll learn 'em to go Captain Obvious when nobody asked them anything.

 

[cerebreturns]

Skinny is not considered a insult in american society, though twig is. It's still less of one then fat.

We are a society that worships the unhealthy skinny.

It's better to look at it as being called flat chested. it's just a statement, it might be true, it still is very hurtful to most people.


Skinny is not a insult, twig is usually one but even it's not always considered a insult. There are a lot of men and women who like twiggy people.

Fat is a insult.

If I had to equate anything to being called skinny it would be calling a fat person "curvy"

Both skinny and curvy can be used as insults or taken wrongly but are often used as compliments.

 

[kyuzo3567]

I'm fat, I've been fat literally since I was 18 months old. It doesn't even phase me when anyone calls me fat, I don't really care what other people think about me. I do however get angry when employers use weight to discriminate for hiring people for part-time work. I honestly think people get too upset over being called fat. If you're fat, you're fat, suck it up and get your ass to the gym if it bothers you so much.

 

[lechat]

annnnd as i figured this thread devolved into "the media thinks anorexic is sexy" and obviously men don't have to worry about body image

here's a test. go google sexiest/hottest/most desirable women and men. in fact here ill do it for you
women [https://www.google.com.au/search?q=top+10+sexiest+women&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=fSL&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=hnorUYPlNseSkwWD34HQCg&ved=0CAoQ_AUoAQ&biw=1920&bih=910]
men

and since my target audience may be too lazy to click the links heres what you will see
the average women looks about like this

not dangerously underweight. not anorexic but what any doctor will tell you is roughly the ideal weight and what anyone who is overweight should aspire to

also for shits and giggles the average guy looks roughly like this

odds are you won't call that anorexic but with muscle mass and body fat percentages like that you are about one skipped meal away from passing out

 

[DugMachine]

Because you just shouldn't point it out. Refer to a person by their name if you know it, if you don't and need to describe someone then go ahead and call them a 'big gal/big guy' or a 'fat dude/fat chick', whatever. Just don't say it to their face. It's rude and you don't identify people by their physical traits.

If you had a huge mole on your face I wouldn't call you moleface. This is a touchy topic for me as I used to be quite overweight. I'm not anymore and am finally in shape but I will always be hurt when my past is brought up and rubbed in my face. It's just flesh, they know they're fat. No need to bring it up.

 

[DoPo]

If you feel offended being called fat, then you should try and become "normal" weight range so that people wont point to your weight.

I suspect that when you get right down to it, the offense is less at which word was used and more at who had their head shoved so far up their own ass that they felt obligated to tell you how you don't measure up to their ideals.

Yeah, that's about the easiest explanation there is. It's even worse when somebody launches into a tirade how fat they are when 1. you yourself outweigh them 2. they are average.

 

[Lieju]

Trust me, it's equally depressing for men to see what our ideal-body-image is. It's just that apparently no-one likes to talk about it.
It's seriously angers me when I see all the documentaries and .gifs made about female body-image and the eating-disorders they generate, and they never, ever mention the same issues for men.
Apparently, my disorders aren't important.

Then talk about them. Saying 'it happens to men too' doesn't make it okay for women.
My comment was about the body image of women because I happen to be one, and have had people like my driving instructor make fun of my weight, and seen how in media there's much more diversity in the 'acceptable' body-shapes for men than there are for women.

Not to say men don't face this as well, but the issues they face are different.

What kind of pressure do you feel from the idealised male body-image, and how it affects your life?

 

[SaetonChapelle]

Society terms the word "fat' as being negative, and thus we have become accustomed to be hateful towards said word. If you are "fat", you are "unhealthy", "Unappealing", "unattractive", and "unwanted".

I personally am terrified of being called "fat". I have a weight issue, and I realize it, but as soon as I hear the word "fat" I become afraid. I don't want these social stigmas on myself.

People dont want their ego or their sense of self worth and confidence reduced.

 

[SaetonChapelle]

annnnd as i figured this thread devolved into "the media thinks anorexic is sexy" and obviously men don't have to worry about body image

here's a test. go google sexiest/hottest/most desirable women and men. in fact here ill do it for you
women [https://www.google.com.au/search?q=top+10+sexiest+women&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=fSL&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=hnorUYPlNseSkwWD34HQCg&ved=0CAoQ_AUoAQ&biw=1920&bih=910]
men

and since my target audience may be too lazy to click the links heres what you will see
the average women looks about like this

not dangerously underweight. not anorexic but what any doctor will tell you is roughly the ideal weight and what anyone who is overweight should aspire to

also for shits and giggles the average guy looks roughly like this

odds are you won't call that anorexic but with muscle mass and body fat percentages like that you are about one skipped meal away from passing out

Now, first you state "sexiest/hottest/most desirable women and men" with said images, but then you state that doctors expect those to be the average weight.

Now for one thing this is false. Your correct weight depends on many factors, each of which are different for every person. Size, Height, muscle mass, bone structure. One person who is the same height as another might be heavier, but that due to them being more tone and having more muscle. That doesn't mean they're over weight.

The image above you posted was highly photo-shopped. If you're ever curious about the process of model photo techniques, just do a youtube search. Neck elongated, ribs featured, waist reduced, tone increased. The women above is not a real image. Neither is the male. Their counterparts are close, but this is not what one would see as the "average" or necessarily "healthy" in weight.

 

[EtherealBeaver]

Because most people think of fatness as something very negative and it is akin to going over to a person and telling them directly that they are stupid, ugly, smelly, revolting or what ever else you think is negative.

Im fat myself and trying to lose weight but despite living very healthy and on a strict diet with 4+ hours of exercise per day, it is extremely slow. I dont need people to tell me what is pretty damn obvious just like most handicapped people dont need other people to tell them that they are handicapped for instance

The reason I refer to myself as fat is because it works as a sort of social shock absorber - when someone pointed out what everyone can see, people rarely need to continue pointing it out so the least painful way to be reminded of my genetical condition constantly is if I do it myself.

I dont see any reason to call people fat though - not any more reason than telling a crying person they are sad or telling a guy with glasses that he has poor vision at least. Its pretty redundant because its so apparant and chances are that people dont excatly like being reminded about it, at least not if they are actively trying to do something about it.

My sympathy for fat people feeling bad about their weight ends at fat people eating chunks of full fat cheese measured in kilos while bound the the wheel chair because of their weight though. I still dont see a reason people need to remind them constantly however.

 

[DkLnBr]

Because people always like to think of themselves in a positive light, so no one likes it if someone reminds them that they aren't perfect.
I was going to say more, but I don't really need to

 

[Spinozaad]

I like my women to have some fat around the bones, makes for some nice curves. As for guys, you don't need to be ripped. You too can look like you're a gourmand. I'm one myself. Healthy weight, but you can easily see I enjoy a pint/glass of wine (or two, or four) with good food (if it's delicious, I will have seconds). Nothing wrong with that.

If you're fat, you're ugly and I cannot and will not take you seriously.

Of course, there might be a medical reason for your condition. But you know, I don't really care and I'm not willing to assume all fat people have a medical condition, because most just need to eat less and exercise more.

It's that simple, really.

Oh, and this coming from someone who has been fat for most of his life. Yes, I know, I subscribe to the stereotype of the converted fundamentalist.

 

[Realitycrash]

What kind of pressure do you feel from the idealised male body-image, and how it affects your life?

I've been bullied for being fat my entire life, which has caused some rather horrid body-dysmorfia. I am just recently recovering from it. I work out four days a week and have a pretty solid build of muscle not (even the much desired six-pack), yet I still can't look myself in the mirror. Should I miss one or two work-outs, I get increasingly uncomfortable with myself.
Every time I see an image of an 'ideal man', you know what my first thought it? "Oh god, I'm disgusting. I need to go work out".
Should anyone compliment me, I get uncomfortable and try to just nod and quickly change the subject. If they continue, I either leave or just stay silent and stare at the floor until they stop.
I have an increasing issue with finding a partner as well. Not because they don't find me attractive, but because I can't handle fat in myself, nor my partners. Even if they have a healthy or average weight, I get turned off. If they aren't extremely fit, I get slightly disgusted. I know there isn't anything wrong with them, or that they are bad people, I just can't...Touch..Them. Touching any form of flab gives me a major case of shudder.

 

[MrPhyntch]

To argue that calling someone fat is okay because it's a true fact is incredibly naïve.

Being fat is widely considered a negative trait, so calling someone fat, even if it's true, is making a negative statement about them. After all, that person likely has many other attributes you could be pointing out instead but you're choosing to reflect on one that's hurtful.
Even if the person doesn't feel bad about their size, the act of calling them that is almost certainly disingenuous and mean-spirited. So even if being called fat doesn't bother you, the fact that a person would be willing to try and insult you should.

But sugar-coating it is even worse, because it makes you look like a pansy who can't man up to using real terms. Political correctness is born of this attitude, and it's one of the worst things I hate about the world.

I am around 370 pounds. I am fat. There is no getting around that fact. It's personal choice, nothing is "wrong" with me.

The only time I take offense to it is when there is intentional malice there. And even then, I take offence to the malice, not the statement.

 

[emeraldrafael]

because the world is PC. youre not supposed to call people short (its supposed to be vertically challenged). I dont really believe it, and especialy when youre fat because then thats just laziness to not change. unless youre in a situation like the guy in seven there is no reason you cant be skinnier. and being called fat isnt inherently bad, because some people like that ina partner.

however I probably dont help when I tell someone they're a bowling ball.

 

[dfphetteplace]

I get pissed at how everyone seems to judge bariatric patients. There are so many health conditions that can cause people to appear fat, and chances are you have no idea why someone is that way. Do they have a massive hernia? Cushing's Syndrome? Interstitial fluid retention? Renal failure? Medication complications? Do they suffer from mental deficit that causes them to be unable to understand nutrition (Down's syndrome, autism, ect)?

I have seen a lot of patients that appear fat at a distance, but once I preform a full assessment, I can see more underlying issues.