Old Uncle Escapist's Advice To Young 'Uns on Gaming

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Minic

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Dec 18, 2007
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So, what advice would you have to give to subsequent generations?

For example: don't fall for the hype.
 

Fire Daemon

Quoth the Daemon
Dec 18, 2007
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Don't fall for the hype, If you don't like it don't get it. If other people like it leave them alone, don't flame. Be a nice person, just because your anomynous you don't need to be a dick.
 

Shajinn

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Apr 6, 2008
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Games are arguably art
Art is inarguably subjective
There is no best, only OMG *insert game, console, franchise of choice here* IS TEH ROXXORZ!!!!1111one
...And you don´t want to be one of them, do you?
 

Gigantor

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Dec 26, 2007
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If people around you ever start arguing about Halo, just walk away. No good can come from getting involved.

If Peter Molyneux ever starts talking about an upcoming game, just run away. He cannot be trusted.

The original Xbox controller was a masterpiece of ergonomic design...honest.

The Magnum from Goldeneye is the best gun to ever be featured in a game. Don't argue with your grandfather! Go fetch me my Bovril.
 

Vortigar

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Nov 8, 2007
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Graphics AND gameplay matter. The two should complement each other. Don't get drawn into lengthy debates on the merits of one over the other. Every generation of games has its own base of acceptable and exceptional on both fronts.

Some games age better than others, get over it.

Complex gameplay is not by default better than simple gameplay (disregarding the intial learning curve of course). This one I struggled with for a long time as a Virtua Fighter fan, we do like to tout the 'deep' horn so much.

ps.
Depth in VF means that the number of valid (!!!) options given to both players both in defence and offence is greater than in any other fighter, this doesn't necessarily make it a better game. The fact that the balance between all those options is relatively equal and depends more on the opponent than on the strength of the move itself is the important bit. Unlike, say, MK where there is almost always a best option that simply makes all other moves useless by comparison.
 

Defyant

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Apr 6, 2008
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Vortigar said:
Some games age better than others, get over it.
Like Total Annihilation. Shit graphics but the fucking best gameplay in any rts EVER.

Plus it's Australian, which gives away it's quality - bloody awesome.

Okay that last sentence was just a pile of bullshit. But really, TA is awesome and had great graphics - back then. Now it doesn't appeal to kids ('part from a handful, go old school) because the graphics aren't "omfg roxxorz mah soxxorz."

Now TA's graphics are.. just bad. But the gameplay is mindblowing.(well, not mindblowing, but bloody good) Most fun you'll ever have in an rts - ever. I think.

There's mods out there for it - hell theres even a whole indy game based on it called TA Spring - but it can't replicate it exactly.

Sure, Supreme Commander had some sexy graphics but was it really that good? Me and my dad played about one or two multiplayer games - it fucking sucked in our opinions. I /just/ beat him and he'd beat my ass to a bloody pulp 'till I wore it like a hat. (shameful reference to Yahtzee)

Guys, just give TA a go if your into RTS'. It's a great game.

Did I just go totally off-topic? Damn.

One thing I gotta say - in my opinion, gameplay > graphics. Unless it looks so bad it's not funny, like 8 bit or something. I can handle Street Fighter 2D, but scrawny people walking around like mini mini MINI midgets - not cool.
 

L.B. Jeffries

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Nov 29, 2007
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Everything you need to know about talking on the internet.

http://www.paulgraham.com/disagree.html
 

wilsonscrazybed

thinking about your ugly face
Dec 16, 2007
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Cocaine makes everything more fun, not just Pong.

Don't mess up the arcade quarter queue. Big Robby Wilkins did, and now works at a Burger Slurpee off I-10.

No matter how good you are at Space Invaders (and life), you're going to lose.

You shouldn't throw your controller, but if you must, make sure you destroy something in the process.

"Goddamn it, Diagonal isn't a direction!"

Final Fantasy Adventure on the Gameboy pretty much rocked.

Voice chat is for kids, real men just shout.

You might win one game against that Kid who always plays Ken, but he's going to come back with Guile and sit in the corner throwing "sonic booms" at you the next round.

The best game ever was Oregon Trail. Don't underestimate the power of the monochrome green Ascii bears!

"Get off my lawn you whippersnappers!"

Castlevania 3 was the last good game in the series. Now go be all "Japanemo" elsewhere.

"Don't mess with me, I learned to fight from watching Karate kid. That's right, Wax off motherf*cker."
 

Necrohydra

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Jan 18, 2008
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Fire Daemon said:
Don't fall for the hype, If you don't like it don't get it. If other people like it leave them alone, don't flame. Be a nice person, just because your anomynous you don't need to be a dick.
This should just be applied to the Internet in general.

Expanding on that for gaming:

So you like Game, Genre, Console, or Developer X and *Jim likes Game, Genre, Console, or Developer Y. This does not automatically mean you are some sort of sophisticated super being and Jim is a slightly evolved primate. It also does not automatically mean that Jim is horribly sheltered, mislead, or a slew of other things. Everyone has opinions, and there's a good chance they'll differ from yours. Unless they prove otherwise, respect that.
 

The Reverend

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Jan 28, 2008
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L.B. Jeffries said:
Everything you need to know about talking on the internet.

http://www.paulgraham.com/disagree.html
I Disagree. Ho Ho.

Don't Trust EA. If you find yourself contemplating buying one, ask yourself if you have a Screwdriver lodged in your frontal lobe. If the answer is yes, go ahead and buy it. If the answer is no, buy a truly innovative game, like Psychonauts.
 

wilsonscrazybed

thinking about your ugly face
Dec 16, 2007
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Khell_Sennet said:
Without EA there would be no Battlefield or C&C titles,
DICE and Westwood to be specific. As to whether there would be none, that's debatable.
 

stevesan

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Oct 31, 2006
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I'd say, spend your time wisely. There are a lot of great games out there. Unfortunately, a lot of these great games tend to bury their greatness under hours and hours of dull nonsense. Is it worth your time to plow/grind through all that just to experience the awesome parts that are scattered here and there (and believe me, there are some awesome parts)? Well, that's up to you to decide. But something to keep in mind.

A rule of thumb that I use: If I'm not having much fun within an hour, I quit the game. Life's too short to waste time on fluff. You may miss out on some great gaming experiences, but remember - this is just a rule of thumb.
 

Scolar Visari

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Jan 8, 2008
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If were playing a team based game and you don't feel like being a team player the GTFO because I don't want you. Don't argue with the host because I can and will give you a one way trip to Italy. Don't trust reviews, if you like it buy it, if your unsure rent it.
 

WhiteFangofWhoa

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Jan 11, 2008
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One thing to remember, kids: GRAPHICS ARE NOTHING!

Okay, that's not entirely true but in today's gaming world they are looked upon as the be-all end-all of a game's rating. There are freaking SNES and Game Boy games that I find 10 times more enjoyable than Halo. I laughed at the Mad Magazine article where they were mentioning the downsides of the next generation of consoles, and included a scene where some guys were buying a curling game due to the photo-realistic graphics. The means to tell your story and present your world have vastly improved since the days of Atari, and will continue to improve. Doesn't mean a thing if the story and world aren't worth presenting.
 

qbert4ever

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Dec 14, 2007
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Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it meanly.

If you compare somebody to a nazi in anything other then jest, then you lose the argument. Unless they commit genocide. Then it is acceptable.

Take the red pill if you want to be a superhero, but in the end have your girlfriend die. Take the blue pill if you hate Alice in wonderland.

Always type "SPOILER ALERT" before revealing any plot twists.

And the most important one, disagree with grandpa, and the last thing you'll hear is "Statement: You should have taken out the trash, tiny meatbag".
 

Chilango2

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Oct 3, 2007
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Stealing from <a href="http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/Nothing_is_like_the_Nazis
">here with minor gamer related edits:

Nothing is like the Nazis.

Seriously. Those people who don't agree with your gaming choices? They are not like the Nazis. Those people who don't agree with your politics? That mod who banned you? That person who corrected the spelling in your post? None of them are even remotely like the Nazis in any way, shape, or form. Nothing is like the Nazis. Even those guys who hang out at the mall in black leather with shaved heads and swastika bling are not like the Nazis - they're only trying to be because they think it makes them rebels, when in fact it merely makes them badly-dressed idiots who will never get laid because if they ever took their clothes off in front of another human being they would find themselves in the incredibly unenviable position of having to convince that other human being that their tattoos are 'just kidding'.

Should you find yourself tempted to compare somebody to the Nazis, follow these steps:

1. Stop typing.
2. Log off and shut down your computer.
3. Visit the nearest bookshop or library. Get yourself a nice cup of coffee and find a book on the Holocaust. Read the book from cover to cover.
4. Spend 24 hours thinking about what was in the book.
5. Get back online and re-read the post that made you angry.
6. If you still feel like comparing something to the Nazis, repeat from step one.
7. Once you have gained some perspective, then and only then may you post your reply.
 

ShadeOfRed

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Jan 20, 2008
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So many winners here. Something new to add...
-It's only a survival game is there is a fair chance of you dying without delibrately trying to get yourself killed.
-Strategies in Starcraft are more than just unit spamming. (Saw someone accuse Starcraft of that on GameFAQS.)
-Not eveyone who kills you in Halo is gay, sucks, or has a mom you slept with.
-Using LOL, OMG or any other internet acronym in voice chat is unacceptable.

That's all so far.