On Attraction

[mechashiva77]

It's actually more than "fairly" true, it's pretty much entirely true. In fact, scratch the "pretty much".

Also, OP: What about Marcus Patrick? I find him to be rather sexy, and he's black enough to be considered black in the U.S.

...Wow. He's really attractive looking, but I still can't see myself in bed with him, realistically or otherwise.

 

[Hagi]

...Wow. He's really attractive looking, but I still can't see myself in bed with him, realistically or otherwise.

I'll make a few assumptions here so feel free to correct me as I'm most likely wrong.

But it sounds to me that you're somehow associating black skin colour with some negative trait that you find undesirable in your partners. You find them attractive but there's something else that prevents you from seeing them as sexual partners.

I wouldn't call that racism as it's not a belief of inferiority. But if I'm right then it would be a generalization. I'm not sure what trait it would be if I'm right (which I'm probably not), but if it bothers you you might want to identify which trait it is and intentionally seek out black men who lack this trait.

Association is the most natural thing there is. If all black men you know share a similar trait then subconsciously you'll generalize this to all black men period, that's generally how some parts of our brains work. But if you intentionally spend time with black men who don't share that trait then you give yourself room to get rid of that subconscious assumption.

As I said, I could easily be wrong here. I don't know the specifics of your situation, but it might be worth thinking about. You could just be missing out on a great black guy because your brain is somehow associating something with him. But on the other hand, there's plenty of other partners around.