Y'see, what Yahtzee doesn't realise is that he and I are Karmic opposites. Where he is negative, I am positive, and vice versa. I am the yin to his yang. We are the natural and inevitable consequence of Newton's second law.
(Plus, if we ever met, we'd destroy the world, Timecop-style.)
Whereas Yahtzee has fostered the Eeyore-like mentality that the world is composed almost entirely of "f--kwits", I prefer to share my belief that every single person is a unique and beautiful snowflake. One would think that Yahtzee would be perpetually astounded, and myself perpetually disappointed, by the respective highs and lows that humanity can reach.
But NO! A lifetime of looking for the best in people has left me optimistic and happy about human nature in general, no matter how many times individual human beings may fail to live up to such high expectations. For to me, such failure is a simple misstep on the path of life, rectified with relative ease by a simple change of course.
Whereas to Yahtzee, who has spent years ignoring the best achievements of humanity while celebrating in its most depraved and pernicious acts, a life of "realism" has paradoxically left a bitter cold stone in the place of a heart. Having spent a lifetime wilfully blind to man's greatness, he now finds himself unable to take comfort in the simplest of human pleasures - the laughter of a child, the warm glow that surrounds the face of a pretty girl who smiles at him. To him these things - things that would warm the heart of anyone whose very mind and body had not become warped, Gollum-style, through years of neglect of his kin - instead of being the source of a thousand little pleasurable emotions, have rather become daggers through the armour of stunted self-pity that is the mask that Yahtzee wears every day to hide his true, ugly self.
It's an interesting question... can a nature as wholly vile and repulsive as Yahtzee's ever truly redeem itself? And for him to do so, since we are Karmic opposites, would this mean that I would have to fall? I guess time will tell - for in the end, it is time that makes equals of us all, be we kings or beggars.
(Also, if Yahtzee dies, I cease to exist. Yeah, it's the Newtonian thing again.)
Now everyone get on TF2, I want to MURDER me some motherf--kers.
Peace and love!
(PS - Yahtzee - I'm really, really, really, really sorry.)
