Online Dating?

[SilverUchiha]

I could say a long winded story as to why I'm turning to online dating (or at least being more willing to give it a shot), but I won't because that would, indeed, probably set up a Great Wall of Text for you to endure. But I do want to try it, despite my cynical attitude about it, just to see if the results for getting a good, long-term relationship will be different than my previous experiences of offline dating.

So does anyone here have any recommendations as to sites that are decent and (preferably) free? By decent, I mean with a relatively good male:female ratio so I'm not stuck on a site with a bunch of guys (because that would just be a waste of time).

Also, if any single women between the ages of 20-26 see this and are even slightly interested, lemme know and that'll save me the trouble of joining a new website (worst case scenario, I just make a new friend then).

 

[Ziadaine_v1legacy]

Its shit, I will tell you this straght up. I stupidly tried it upon my friends request for being single for 2 years, the only women interested were gold-diggers and women who dropped their standards so low just to have sex. long story short, and I dont wanna sound sexist but from PERSONAL EXPERIENCE, women on these sites are 10x more pickier then in real life. In life they can see first hand what type of person you are. Online they go off a photo, your career and what you write is ALL you are, thus thinknig they can just pick thru men like its a catalogue.

 

[kloiberin_time]

I met my girlfriend on okcupid.com

It is free and I have had success with it. Before her I went on several dates with different people on the site. Just don't be afraid to contact people.

 

[SilverUchiha]

I'm not sure whether to continue being skeptical... or not... But I'll look into that okcupid thing.

And thanks for the heads up Zia. I'll just have to be careful when I'm on the site and meeting people.

 

[lemiel14n3]

Now I now this may sound a little cynical of me, but bear with me.

TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER

not forever, you obviously enjoy your time on the internet, but turn it off for now and go outside. Alright you've probably heard this from everyone else you've talked to about this subject, but has it ever occurred to you that the best way to meet women is to go out and meet women. Go to a park, a book store, go to school, go to a bar if you're old enough. The thing is, you're not going to get anywhere unless you try.

Barring that, one thing a forum is great for is talking to people, that's very close to its express purpose. And on a forum, you're guaranteed that the other person will share at least some of your interests. A topic like this is a good start, I'd be lying if I said you didn't come off as a little desperate, but at least you're trying, and I certainly won't fault you for that.

I think you should try it and see for yourself. I will say that the majority of people who try it can't handle it though. Mostly because of the distance, security issues and lack of a physical aspect. Those who make it work and final;l;y meet up have my respect because that is a TOUGH road to drive on. I tried this once, but it didn't work out for me (the person I was 'with' wasn't real in the end, bummer) which is another thing you should be aware of: some profiles you see will be fake. On sites like OKCupid or eHarmony or anywhere I imagine, you will see some pretenders. Just be careful who you become involved with, is my advice!

Yeah, long distance relationships can be kind of a *****, my last girlfriend and I broke up for that reason.

What do you mean he wasn't real? was it one of those twisted people who gets their kicks stringing people along? Or did you fall in love with a robot in some sort of twisted Turing test. And does that mean you're single now?

 

[Untamed_Skies]

My mother met her husband whom she's completely in love with on I believe couples.com At any rate you could potentially meet someone you love online, but if you want it to go anywhere you ought to be realistic. Look for women who live in your state and whom you could realistically visit. The point of online dating isn't to sit back and type at each other, it's too meet someone who shares your interests, and then meet in a crowded public place like Starbucks or something and have a date. If things click, then have another.

If you date someone across the country it works out sometimes but it's harder then it's usually worth. And like anything else it depends heavily on how you handle yourself and the luck of the draw.

 

[Kortney]

To be honest, it's something I'd never do. I believe meeting someone you plan to love online is rather strange. But that's just me being weird and old fashioned like I am.

I say go for it - but don't exclude "real life" too. Keep your options open. Get out of the house, meet people, socialise and have fun.

 

[shreedder]

It is an odd new thing to try I will probably try it at some point. I've known a few people who have gotten married to people they met online. The problem is it just feels weird signing up for a site to try to get into a relationship

 

[Stasisesque]

Try http://www.plentyoffish.com/

OkCupid is much more structured, with the questionnaires and the match-making facilities, you'll actually be prevented from seeing people who share differing opinions if they've set their profile up as such. But there's no harm in trying out more than one dating site, do try and use the same profile photo for all, though.

If you're looking to date online as in online only, I would personally advise against using any dating site. They are mostly stocked with people who wish to have real world relationships. Online-only dating, I have to admit has always weirded me out, and I would suggest it isn't something easily actively sought. Treat dating sites as "safe" bar crawls, or singles parties etc. and you'll be fine.

Try to make any profile you create stand out, don't just list your likes and dislikes in bullet form, but make it attractive to the eye (linguistically, not personally). And absolutely do not send anyone a message that simply says "Hey". Small talk doesn't work on the internet, make yourself exciting!

 

[SilverUchiha]

Actually, that last bit isn't a bad idea. A lot of users on the Escapist date eachother.

I figured it was worth a shot. Nothing better than a girlfriend who'd be willing to play games with me (D&D, PC, console, etc).

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Honestly, I'm just as cynical as you guys (former more so than the latter). But my run of luck with women in real-life hasn't been anything short of really insignificant victories and massive failures. The only reason this idea piques my curiosity is because it opens me to more options rather than taking time out of my rather impenetrable schedule to wander around aimlessly at bars or other random hangouts. If anything, this is more of a social experiment to see if results on a website will differ from the rather shitty ones I've had in real-life this far. Will it work? My money is on the "zombie's chance in front of a shotgun" option, but perhaps I'll be proven wrong, and that would be nice.

 

[Nimcha]

I've tried online dating a few years ago but gave up when it seemed nobody on that site seemed even remotely interested in the sort of relationship I want. I don't have commitment issues but I don't want to be smothered. And it just felt like every girl that came up immediately wanted to set up ground rules and obligations and such. It felt... desperate. Everybody knows what you're on there for, so everybody seems to have certain expectations. Also I specifically stated I was only interested in girls but still half the messages I got were from guys. That will probably be less of a problem for you but still.

Then I met someone on a random forum while I wasn't looking for anything, we just got talking and it all went on from there. Sadly it was long distance and we couldn't meet often but at least we made a connection based on actual personality and interaction rather than an arbitrary checklist. And without expectation.

I don't know if any of these ramblings are helpful, but you never know so meh.