Only in DnD/ other systems....: Strange things that have happened in your games

[Dr.Susse]

Last weekend I was DM-ing a group of friends and something very odd happened.

Three Gnolls attacked with a Hyena; Who I added for one of the Gnolls to throw at a player. This happened and left the Hyena on 1hp.
The party killed the three Gnolls and one of them, A ranger, wanted to try and tame the badly hurt Hyena. I made him roll an animal handling, he rolled well.
He then tried to cast cure wounds, his wisdom is -2 (Don't ask) and he rolled a 1. So effectively putting the hyena on 2hp and then killing it with his -2....It was a beautiful moment as it died in his arms.

So has a particularly odd, or memorable, moment come from a game you've been involved in or seen?

EDIT: Ok you caught me it's just a share your funny dnd stories thread.

 

[FalloutJack]

Gary Blight, Gary Blight,
Riding through the night...

Come and see the adventures of Gary Blight, that goblin highwayman and rogue! (And his compatriots.)

Spoiler: The Bear Mission

So! We have a varied group of people. When our group first met, we have a halfling druid, a bard that we didn't know was female until the second or third session, a socially-awkward sorcerer, a fighter with a maul and a Murder The Hypotenuse reaction to things, and me. They received a mission in a town stating that they needed to take on a vicious bear that's killing and eating people...and pushing over outhouses. They were also told that they would be meeting an...unusual partner in this endeavour. So, they go out into the woods, and suddenly from behind...

"Stand and deliv... Oh, you're them, aren't you? This is about a bear or something?"

Gary tried to rob his compatriots, and then realized that they were not only his co-workers...but also too poor to bother with. Anyway, we're all basically mercenaries and Gary is essentially the robbing hood of goblinkind. We found the bear's cave and...it was dead. Oh good! But there's more cave. We go further in and...the bard takes enough necrotic damage to bring her exactly to zero health. So, she basically walked into a chamber and fainted. We dealt with the thing that did it and moved on.

Turns out there are catecombs down here, with skeletons and zombies fighting in places. One room just had them fighting for basically hours on end. Some of them, you could stick a bunch of darts and knives to without them noticing. But the best part was the half-dragon we found who soon became our boss. First, he threatened us, then he ran from us, then he fell over laughing, and then when he recovered...he'd discovered me there with my knife in his chest. This was the bard's doing. She did really well that day.

Let's just say, though, that it's a good thing my character was already bald, because the fire breath would've burnt all his hair off when he ducked.

Spoiler: The Hill Giant

So! We have a varied group of people On the day that we were meeting our cleric, he was running away from a Hill Giant. Apparently, he had done something not-so-good to the giant's daughter (we suspect zombified), and so he was currently running for his life. This was out on the road, on our way to a town, using horse and wagon. I'm on the horse.

Everyone got off the wagon. I remained on the horse because it moves faster than I do. I'm a goblin. I don't have super distance. While they were slowing down and harming the giant, I had decided to get on its back, Shadow of the Colossus style. This did extremely well. That is, I made it on his back. Obviously, no sigil. I had to climb-stab with my knives, and one of them's off-hand.

Still, as we actually manage to beat this thing, he falls over and I manage to flip out of the way to avoid becoming a splat. I've done these kinds of SOTC moves now with the giant, orcs, gargoyles, and lately a big boney snake. However, in none of those instance - except this one - did I immediately break my nose afterwards. I was just going to go get the horse, rolled a one to catch up, tripped on my feet, and snapped my nose into a right-angle from my face.

Spoiler: A Town

I seem to get along with the bard, well enough. I gave her a copy of the Ballad of Gary Blight when we met, so she could sing my praises whenever necessary. This came up, actually, when we approached a town where we could get some useful stuff. Problem: Goblins aren't really allowed in cities. So, I'm there on a horse with my hood up. A guard goes "Isn't that a goblin on that horse?". I just tell him that I'm just an ugly little human performer, and that I'm actually the bard's partner. We ended up singing the Ballad, which is alot like Dennis Moore's theme from Monty Python, but I changed the lyrics a bit.

We did well, and managed to gain entry, where the bard proceeded to sleep with the town blacksmith for a really nice rapier, and the rest of us could get no work done on that front at all. So, some of us decided to rob a potion shop. The store owner has bad eyesight, and I'm in the robes of the cleric. Our cleric is evil, obviously, but he's in full denial to anyone's face. Nevertheless, I'm in his robes, stealing a bunch of potions. He starts asking about poisons and...the lady takes us down to essentially a torture chamber where the victims are the test subjects for her highly-illegal poisons.

The problem? Well, she could SMELL me, and she was actually a snake woman in disguise who...umm...was a pretty lousy fighter. I think she ended up stabbing herself, neverminding that I got on her back and stuff. After she was dead, the cleric decided to test some of the poisons on the victims, as in just blatantly killing them. I didn't have to witness the truly horrible death. I was robbing the store's gold, leaving behind just enough to make one think it wasn't a robbery, per se, but poor business.

Spoiler: So, about goblins, then...

You may notice that these non-goblins are working with my goblin. This is because Gary is Lawful Evil, and therefore has standards. He also has amnesia about some traumatic issue in his life, but he knows that it's his driving force to steal and rob for what he calls The Goblin Way. He's their hero, basically. He will not attack goblins. SO! When the town we were going to had been burnt to the ground and we see goblins, I stopped everyone and called out for the head gobbo.

This was the way in which I got story-relevent information about someone involved in quests that are in competition to our quests. However, while it seemed clear that we were getting on, especially since I explained to the goblin leader that I was using the rest of the party to get money and things, and I learn that the goblins are just hirees the orcs were using, our fighter decides to smash the goblin chief.

And I don't mean that he killed him. I mean that he hit him so hard that he flew into the nearest orc and smooched INTO the guy's armor, and was stuck there dead the entire fight. Gary is livid, and the nearby orcs aren't too happy either. They surround him and start beating on him. I have to make a decision here, so I go "Hey, how much to save your life?". Fortunately, he offered all of his remaining gold, so Gary was placated into attacking orcs.

Now, how do I handle the problem of when the actual goblins attack? Simple. First, Gary gets PTSD and remembers that his underground colony was destroyed by vicious heroes. This ends up with him going "You bastards!" toward the others, with an epic chewing-out. Furthermore, Gary keeps warning the goblins they meet in this burning town that the others are really good at killing and that they should run the hell away. I'm doing my part, but I can't save the stupid ones.

I did manage to save Fred, though.

 

[Mr Companion]

Not 2 hours ago I just had my favourite session I've ever DM'd (although I've only DM'd like five or six times)

Context: Four players made and now run a platinum mine for which they hired 10 elite soldiers and 4 Giant Boars (herded by trainers) as a defence. Via mining they uncovered an ancient celestial ruin overrun with eldritch abominations. All 4 players are level 5.

Outcome: CR13 Shoggoth vs their army and themselves within the mine tunnels. Three giant boars are decapitated by the eldritch horror, one is killed by friendly javalyn fire and one soldier is heavily injured by a friendly crossbow fire. Thanks to using a choke point and a one-time Air Elemental summon they bring down the thing. It was an epic battle.

Here's what smart, logistically and tactically mined players managed to bring down over the course of 2 hours.
https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Shoggoth_(5e_Creature)

 

[NerfedFalcon]

Spoiler: The Singing Gun

My GM was not very good at balancing encounters. I blame XCOM. Anyway, he had a campaign that was kind of a crossover between 5th Edition and D20 Modern, in that he had a modern day setting and guns right out of D20M without any modification, but kept everything else the same. Well, not *everything*, but if I went into that, I'd be here all day.

Anyway, at one point after a raid on a museum, we ended up retrieving a gun that used to belong to a Wild West lawman. Apparently some part of said lawman was still in the gun, because every time I fired it (being the only one sufficiently Good-aligned to wield it), it would sing part of a song telling the story of the gun's first owner, and how he defeated an outlaw back in the day.

(Edit: Maybe I should also mention that we weren't told that the gun could, and wound given the chance, sing.)

Also the gun was something like: 7 rounds in the cylinder, +2 to hit, 2d10+4+DEX damage, auto-crit against Chaotic or Evil targets, and auto-crit with maximum damage against CE targets.

He gave us a lot of insane loot, but I don't think anything ever topped the singing gun.

This is the biggest thing I can think of, but if anyone wants to know any other stories, I've got plenty of them, from this game and another that I joined afterwards.

 

[Saelune]

I dont think this is that strange in the context of DnD, hell, one person already mentioned something similar.

One of my few times as a player, brother DMing. 3.5e.

We were sent to take out some orcs held up in some castle. I being an Enchanter Wizard, used my cat familiar to scout out the castle. Then we snuck in, killed the leader Orc in his own room, took over the castle and command of most of the orcs and decided we're gonna do this instead of what the DM had planned for after.

We ended up uniting the orcs and some ogres and some other stuff and were either gonna be a huge band of mercenaries...or try to take over the whole land. We stopped there, dont remember why. Both the players and the DM had fun with it though, so I think something else got in the way.


Another, though less detailed, was my very first game I ever played. Still 3.5. I dont remember much of the context, but our introduction to one of the other PCs was either they were captured, or we captured them. Then when arguing what to do with him, ended up in a Mexican stand-off. The greater details are kinda lost, but we regularly say to him "Remember that time you got us all to almost kill eachother while you were just tied up to a chair?"

 

[Souplex]

So we'd been doing a bit too well up to that point, and so the GM decided to throw a situation at us that would certainly kill us if we hit it straight on.
None of us were higher than level 9, we were a Bard, (Me) Barbarian, Cleric, ranger, and rogue.
We stealth in under the cover of our ranger's Pass Without a Trace.
We encounter Fire Giants, (Cr 9 each) and 4 Hill Giants. (Cr 5 each)
We know we'll get liquefied by this battle, so I come up with a stupid plan.
I Greater Invisibility the Cleric, and we have him skulk over into range and begin casting Geas on the lead Fire Giant.
Thanks to Pass Without A Trace, Greater Invisibility, and some luck, he stays hidden for the minute necessary to cast Geas.
He tells the lead Fire Giant to "Obey all my commands" as you can totally wish for more wishes with Geas.
We order the Giant to order his minions to huddle up.
I then cast Confusion on them, breaking my concentration on the Invisibility, revealing our presence, but incapacitating the enemies.
From there we fight.

 

[DarklordKyo]

My weekend group and I were playing a run of Cloak and Shadows, and I was using my Cleric. Other than one of our teammates, used to being our group's untouchable, always accurate cannon, getting us captured when we were framed, everything was going smoothly (we talked our way out of it, and I was able to use my character's noble background to get us deputized).

We got to the fortune teller, and, among other things, said teammate lost his character (soul was stolen by a demon), my Cleric was leveled out of the adventure & lost all his stuff in exchange for a powerful magic item, my Barbarian that we used to substitute was also outleveled on top of getting a level 4 lackey, and, due to the fact that we had a hard time limit IRL, I had to make a new character, this Druid I wanted to make, while the rest of the team were proceeding through the adventure (I was able to speed through the creation process, so I could still play).

The doods that actually did the deed were eco terrorists, talking cat and living pumpkin eco terrorists to be exact. We wiped in the last encounter, and the eco terrorist cats and pumpkins were victorious in destroying the town (their motive was that the eco terrorist cats were hungry, and the humans have been driving away the fish).

 

[PurplePonyArcade]

I should really sit down a do a proper tabletop game with someone who knows what they are doing. Apologies for no real stories to share. Reading yours is fascinating.

 

[Saelune]

So we'd been doing a bit too well up to that point, and so the GM decided to throw a situation at us that would certainly kill us if we hit it straight on.
None of us were higher than level 9, we were a Bard, (Me) Barbarian, Cleric, ranger, and rogue.
We stealth in under the cover of our ranger's Pass Without a Trace.
We encounter Fire Giants, (Cr 9 each) and 4 Hill Giants. (Cr 5 each)
We know we'll get liquefied by this battle, so I come up with a stupid plan.
I Greater Invisibility the Cleric, and we have him skulk over into range and begin casting Geas on the lead Fire Giant.
Thanks to Pass Without A Trace, Greater Invisibility, and some luck, he stays hidden for the minute necessary to cast Geas.
He tells the lead Fire Giant to "Obey all my commands" as you can totally wish for more wishes with Geas.
We order the Giant to order his minions to huddle up.
I then cast Confusion on them, breaking my concentration on the Invisibility, revealing our presence, but incapacitating the enemies.
From there we fight.

This made me look up Geas...now, I have a first print of the book, so I hope they have fixed it, but it is terribly worded. "it takes 5d10 psychic damage each time it acts in a manner counter to your command, but no more than once each day"....What!?

 

[NerfedFalcon]

This made me look up Geas...now, I have a first print of the book, so I hope they have fixed it, but it is terribly worded. "it takes 5d10 psychic damage each time it acts in a manner counter to your command, but no more than once each day"....What!?

For a lot of things, 5d10 damage is enough to debilitate it pretty hard, hard enough that most intelligent creatures would want to avoid a shock like that lest they get caught with their metaphorical pants down.

 

[Kyrian007]

In a high level campaign our GM decided that instead of one or a handful of high level enemies like we had been facing... the big bad would throw an army of lower level enemies at us first, making us use up all of our high level aoe spells. We did; murdering hundreds of kobolds with meteor swarms, fireballs, chain lightning, etc. Then, in the twist we didn't see coming, when the kobolds were dead an army of gnolls took the field. We realized we were kind of screwed and that was the point. No matter that we were high level, sheer numbers dictated that enough of them would crit, ensuring damage even though they couldn't otherwise hit us... that we were in real danger.

But, our cleric still had Control Weather. And we had 10 or so minutes, and we had high winds. So he began conjuring up a storm... which our GM took exception to. Yes, the area of effect was the entire battlefield... and the whole county... but no lightning. After all there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

But a friend playing the rogue said, "what about all the clouds of burnt kobold smoke?" Eventually our gm admitted he couldn't find a rule saying smoke isn't actually clouds (which we knew, but were grasping at straws.) So he gave us a chance. A very hard to hit. With his casting our cleric had to throw a d20, only hitting on 19 or 20. And for the rest, just making the Gnolls save or fall down in very high winds with no lightning or rain or damage of any kind.

He criticaled, a natural. And just giving up and going along with it, our gm started describing an even further darkening of the sky. A sharp increase of the smell of burning flesh and hair which had permeated the battlefield. And a single gnoll warrior looking to the sky in horror just in time to be crushed to the ground by a falling, burning screaming kobold. Which became a downpour of the little dudes; screaming, on-fire, and falling out of the sky. Our party listening to them thump into the stone tower we had taken refuge in as outside high winds and burning kobold touched off a wildfire burning the entire gnoll army to death. Our main enemies actually fled the flames... and us. After all we had just wiped out 2 entire armies with only our tank bottlenecking the tower door and everyone else using ranged weapons.

 

[Dr.Susse]

These are great.
I love the mental back flips the DM would have to go through dealing with some of these.

I had a 1 in 100 chance happen in another game.

The party had been pretty badly hurt and were taken to a temple to heal.
A Player who missed the week before said he spent the time he was missing drinking in a tavern.
I use a D100 carousing table that I wrote up for stuff like this and he rolled....

47. You awake still holding a beer with a holy symbol in your other hand. Looking around you see that you are sitting in the prayer room of a temple, you have no clue how long you?ve been there.

It was way too convenient.

 

[Grouchy Imp_v1legacy]

A player in one of our campaigns a few years ago decided that he would try his hand at playing a magic user, despite never having played a magic user before. Fair enough, you learn by doing after all, but he decided that since he didn't really know how to play a magic user that his character shouldn't really know how to wield magic either - in game terms this was reflected by our DM deciding that, in place of a spellbook, this character should instead have a magical staff ... specifically a Rod of Wonder.

Where to even begin? He turned our Ranger blue, petrified our Cleric, got my Dwarven Defender turned into a pincushion by Slowing my charge across open ground towards a cluster of Gnoll archers, got our now blue Ranger killed by blinding her with a cloud of butterflies as we were fighting a band of Hill Giants, caused untold saving throws due to errant Fireballs and Lightning Bolts, shrunk himself down to 5 inches high and eventually got flattened by an Ogre after he became convinced that he had just become Invisible (he hadn't).

We haven't let him play a magic user since.

 

[Kajin]

DM is using a nonstandard alchemy system. While we were killing Orcs an Orc Wizard dropped a strange potion. After taking it to an alchemist to have it identified he claimed it was Potion of Dragon Soul which grants the breath of a dragon. I was only sort of half paying attention and I missed the part where the alchemist said it was a one breath per potion thing.

After drawing straws between the melee characters it was determined I'd get it. Thinking this granted you a permanent breath ability, I downed it immediately right in the middle of town and the alchemist's shop.

 

[vashthblackseed]

Was Dming a Bard themed campaign. On the first night, the players had set up camp and were just about to start the first watch when a lone Kobold carrying a dagger started yelling at them to "Go away!". A yelling match ensued, both sides demanding the other leave, and with each demand spoken my players get more and more nervous. Suddenly the Kobold turns around and runs away. This freaks my players out, assuming that the Kobold is rushing off to get a hoard of it's brethren. They hurriedly gather their gear and flee the area, leaving two medium tents behind. About two weeks in game and 3 sessions later, as they camp a days travel from the town they had been performing at (and doing quests for), they hear the sounds of something heavy being dragged nearby. After a little investigation, they encounter a lone Kobold dragging two medium tents, clearing heading towards the town. Now I just expected my players to kill the Kobold and take back their tents. Instead they "captured" him (they formed a semi-circle around him) and sat down to have a chat.

I should note here that I am a firm believer in using random encounters and then creating reasons for said encounter. So between the first session and "now" I had decided that that Kobold was an exile due to hating making traps and mining, but loved making toys. I had decided he had planned on taking his new tents to town to sell for better carving tools.

After hearing the Kobold's story, they decide to buy back the tents at half price (they had been dragged for two weeks after all) and purchase the crude top and ball-and-cup toys he had on him. The next day, they escort him to town and helped make sure that the locals don't attack or cheat him. Squee (the Kobold) from that point on becomes a semi-permanent npc in the campaign, that shows up throughout their travels, selling them toys and other useless knickknacks.

 

[FalloutJack]

DM is using a nonstandard alchemy system. While we were killing Orcs an Orc Wizard dropped a strange potion. After taking it to an alchemist to have it identified he claimed it was Potion of Dragon Soul which grants the breath of a dragon. I was only sort of half paying attention and I missed the part where the alchemist said it was a one breath per potion thing.

After drawing straws between the melee characters it was determined I'd get it. Thinking this granted you a permanent breath ability, I downed it immediately right in the middle of town and the alchemist's shop.

So, basically...

A player in one of our campaigns a few years ago decided that he would try his hand at playing a magic user, despite never having played a magic user before. Fair enough, you learn by doing after all, but he decided that since he didn't really know how to play a magic user that his character shouldn't really know how to wield magic either - in game terms this was reflected by our DM deciding that, in place of a spellbook, this character should instead have a magical staff ... specifically a Rod of Wonder.

Where to even begin? He turned our Ranger blue, petrified our Cleric, got my Dwarven Defender turned into a pincushion by Slowing my charge across open ground towards a cluster of Gnoll archers, got our now blue Ranger killed by blinding her with a cloud of butterflies as we were fighting a band of Hill Giants, caused untold saving throws due to errant Fireballs and Lightning Bolts, shrunk himself down to 5 inches high and eventually got flattened by an Ogre after he became convinced that he had just become Invisible (he hadn't).

We haven't let him play a magic user since.

That reminds me....

Spoiler: Wild magic and polymorphing

Our sorcerer is a wild magic user. This means that when he cases, he has a random chance of something going wrong. For instance, during the afore-mentioned fight with the half-dragon, he had attempted to surprise attack the guy while he was talking. So, imagine our surprise when he casts a spell and...he gets a beard of feathers.

Also to be noted is that our halfling druid is - of course - much into shapeshifting. Her favorite shape, thus far, has been a Dire Wolf, which she has used especially in the battle in the burning town, which I mentioned before. After tearing open enough throats, she rather unfortunately has a taste for goblin now.

These two things have not been much of a detriment to the party, but...we are in a labyrinth with alot of twists and turns...and wild magic traps. Everyone who uses magic much make a roll for effect. The druid has turned blue twice and then invisible once while the sorcerer could SEE invisible beings for the same amount of time, I was temporarily poisoned because of a random AOE effect from another player, the cleric and the fighter went on an astral quest when the players were out, and then the fighter mysteriously returned, he became a sheep and decided he wanted to nibble at me.

Fortunately, I had received these lovely wings of flying. I'm Batman...

 

[DarklordKyo]

DM is using a nonstandard alchemy system. While we were killing Orcs an Orc Wizard dropped a strange potion. After taking it to an alchemist to have it identified he claimed it was Potion of Dragon Soul which grants the breath of a dragon. I was only sort of half paying attention and I missed the part where the alchemist said it was a one breath per potion thing.

After drawing straws between the melee characters it was determined I'd get it. Thinking this granted you a permanent breath ability, I downed it immediately right in the middle of town and the alchemist's shop.

Reminds me of this Against The Giants run that was basically this in a nutshell:

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Well, there was the time the party lived as mice for a week. Or the one wherein they had to defeat a fantasy expy of Michael Jackson in a dance battle. The one where they screwed with the reality-warping mcguffin and got stranded in ancient Egypt until they could figure out how to get reactivate it. The one where they went to one of the moons. The Hercule Poirot style murder mystery adventure.

How about that kerfuffle where the Wizard with 4 Charisma and no ranks in Disguise tried to masquerade as the lord of a castle by fully undressing himself and rolled a 1 on every check when the guards came in, ensuring he looked and sounded the least like that npc in the history of not even closely resembling someone.

Our DM decided that, in place of a spellbook, this character should instead have a magical staff ... specifically a Rod of Wonder.

Where to even begin? He turned our Ranger blue, petrified our Cleric, got my Dwarven Defender turned into a pincushion by Slowing my charge across open ground towards a cluster of Gnoll archers, got our now blue Ranger killed by blinding her with a cloud of butterflies as we were fighting a band of Hill Giants, caused untold saving throws due to errant Fireballs and Lightning Bolts, shrunk himself down to 5 inches high and eventually got flattened by an Ogre after he became convinced that he had just become Invisible (he hadn't).

We haven't let him play a magic user since.

... Rod of Wonder

Ok, I dont know the particulars of that game, but I'd say that shitshow was more on the DM than on the player.

Giving a player, let alone a novice one, a Rod of Wonder is a disaster waiting to happen. Like the Deck of Many Things, it's one of those items that sounds interesting and fun on paper, but they are traps that can ruin games and groups. Smart thing to do is to look at the once and then quietly ban them.

 

[Mikeybb]

The game was Rolemaster.
One of the old school, simulationist systems that has a reputation (entirely deserved) for complexity and oh so many charts and tables.
Combat is slow but detailed and quite, quite fatal.

The party were leading a small expedition in land to find a source of fresh water and forage for a ship which had taken anchor just off a tropical island.
Yes, there was a volcano.
There were also dinosaurs.
In particular, the party had managed to run afoul of a T-rex.

Now, the party were experienced and so were the players, but due to the insistence of two of the players to be fully armoured during the expedition, they weren't going to be climbing and hiding from the stupid but strong beast.
Rather than flee and potentially lose a companion or more, they chose to fight.

It was a long and hard battle.
Despite their best efforts they could not find a weak spot on the monster and seemed to inflict nothing but trifling injuries upon it.
The party nearly died on multiple occasions through the battle and suffered many injuries.
Finally the withering hail of minor injuries proved too much for the towering beast and it collapsed, brought low by a thousand cuts.

Assessing the cost to the party, everyone was heavily injured and low on hit points.
Everyone who could cast spells had dipped heavily into their power point pool.

The priest of healing had an idea though.
"gather close everyone" he said calmly as he drew the party close and prepared to modify his spell and shift it from 'touch' to 'area of effect' "we don't have much time. the sounds of battle will have drawn the attention of scavengers".
Now this is a difficult task for a novice character, but the priest was a very skilled healer and an experienced one at that.
He had invested heavily in his skills that would allow him to achieve this and the chances of success were high enough to be a sure thing.
Except he fumbled.

Rolemaster uses d100.
Roll between a ninety six and a hundred, and you can roll again adding to the result.
A very high number can result in very good things happening.
Roll between one and a set number (rarely higher than four, more often two or three) you roll down.
The tables are also deep enough to accommodate such rolls.

The spell table fumble informed the priest that due to an uncontrolled and unpredictable burst of power, the spell would be targeted at his feet and erupt to a thirty foot radius.
He and the party laughed with relief at their good fortune.
Even with the fumble, he had managed to fully heal the group.
...and then they heard the T-rex making confused noises as it tried to right itself.

This time they decided to run.

TLDR:
Party fight a big monster and barely win.
Fumble healing spell.
Accidentally Heal the big monster to full after the fight.

 

[maninahat]

My character had his dick cut off and gifted to a talented hacker, as part of a deal to get her to work for us in a game of Cyberpunk 2020. Unfortunately, it turned out she was working all along for the company we wanted her to hack, and she ended up tossing my cock to her pet rottweiler. Still, there were no hard feelings, as my team had bought me a superior prosthesis to make up for my loss. My character couldn't bring himself to shoot the hacker in cold blood, even after all that, so we settled our differences in the biblical sense as she had been correspondingly mechanically enhanced: