To start out with, I wanna point out that our actual players are nice people who appreciate a good joke, or even awful humor. In the spirit of this, our Cleric is - I believe - an Aasimar, known for being possbly descended from celestial beings to do the will of the gods and whatnot. You may recall, though, that when we found this guy, he was running for his life from an angry hill giant whose daughter had been something'd. We don't know what he did, but it wasn't good.
This is, if I'm to understand OOC-wise, because he is doing god's work...but it's an evil god, so it becomes the 'Evil is my good' argument. I can't argue this, because Gary is the hero of a hated monster race, the goblins. When he suggested we rob a potion shop, I was all in, and we had fun. It's just that the cleric's personality is a bit iffy. He sounds like a devout cleric, but the things he says in his piety are dark and sinister. So, it's funny, but the characters don't exactly trust him, and he gets into arguments.
One of the better moments has to begin with The Door Mimic.
Well first, bit of background. In the burning town, we'd been kicking ass, but then we failed to halt a ritual that released an Ancient Black Shadow Dragon from the Underdark. For the uninitiated, black dragons are bad. Ancient dragons are old and huge and very gifted. So, an Ancient Black Shadow Dragon must be the epitome of evil, so evil that he doesn't give a rat's ass about the tiny mortal beings who released him, or the ones who failed to keep him UNreleased.
Except to destroy them. Oh, he's not above that.
Fortunately, we ran for the nearest cave, because he was currently preparing to swing around and destroy us. Actually, it was a woods. Fred the goblin - The one I rescued - called us over from the cave, and we ran DEEP underground to avoid the inevitable torrent of dragon breath that was to follow, which killed the bears whom we passed as they were sleeping. Fred had helped us out mainly because I helped HIM out, and he'd found out there was actually a series of passages down here. In fact, there was even a door down one of the tunnels. Cool.
My foot stuck to the door as I tried to prod it open.
[HEADING=1]"MIMIC!!!"[/HEADING]
The eyes appear and the mouth opens just as I manage to pull away from the adhesive quality of the Mimic's skin. And then, it...sits there, presumbly making mouth-noises at us. Of course, I didn't notice this until the third dart thrown at it. It's a door, and it's attached to the doorway in the manner a door would be. It's trying to move, but it can't. It was entirely laughable, and my dashing goblin rogue decided to just keep throwing darts at it. So, picture me pretending to throw dart after dart at it. I've got hundred of the things.
Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!
The cleric comes up to me, saying we should try and tame the thing, make it our pet or something. He's just being in-character, saying we shouldn't waste an opportunity like this. In-character, Gary can think of nothing BUT wasting it. OOC, I'm reminded of a guy from a Star Wars campaign who wanted to do something similar, but the player was an idiot and we hated him. So, I keep throwing darts, and I tell the GM to let me know when either it's dead or I'm out of darts. Some of the others are cracking up, at this point. This goes on for at least five minutes.
Anyway, that was just the first part. The mimic eventually dies and the cleric had switched gears to an argument about how we've been handling things and about the connotations of how his actions are righteous and proper. The thing is, I get into this debate because I'm a Lawful Evil Goblin. I understand the evil motivations, but I'm more honest with it and I have my own standards. Meanwhile, the party has decided to leave us. And I don't just mean in-character. Everyone wandered over to another table.
They weren't annoyed. They just thought it was funny. And it was.
So, I break away from arguing with the cleric and join the others after a few minutes as he comically shouts "Hey, don't walk away from me! You can't leave me here!!", and I go "Hey guys, what's up?" as they were just examining the door of many languages. You see, where we'd fought the half-dragon, there'd been some plot-relevent legends on murals in EVERY language. As in, it started in one language and moved onto another, and so on. This was problematic, of course, and this door we'd found had writing on it and the walls nearby in a similar manner.
Cue the cleric: "Why would ANYBODY do this?!".
We wondered the same thing, but while we'd figured that this legend was such an ancient worldwide thing that representatives came to write their race's part in it individually. The cleric found this to be a terrible was to convey information, and then got even MORE confused when he heard we'd left an ancient tome about this stuff and the dagger that was with it...with a kobold. The kobold was a sage, completely above board. Well, Gary was fine with him, anyway.
Nevertheless, this spurred our cleric to complain that the person who designed this place was an absolute moron, and to ram that home, behind the door was sort of a temple-type place with more murals of a similar nature to what was outside. This was actually the entrance to the labyrinth with the wild magic traps and such, but that was in the future. right now, we also had someone watching over the place: A Bone Dragon. I forget what kind he was, but it didn't matter because unlike the evil that we had unleashed: He was talking to us.
He also munched the Bard's lute. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbpcPSl6Mwo]
Afterwhich, he explained that this was the haven for an ancient armor, one among many ancient items which we were hunting, that were meant only for those worthy. So, basically, this was his home and beyond here was the labyrinth and at its end was the thingy in question. I should point out that the only one of us who can speak draconic is the cleric. He was translating for us, but then he asked who the hell designed this place, to which the dragon said - You guessed it! - "I did.".
Well, he just sort of lost focus, at that point, and told us that the dragon was an evil guardian that they had to destroy, but we fortunately didn't believe him, especially since the dragon knew Common, as well.