I regret to inform that I feel it best to withdraw my application. Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.
What anime is it? I'd like to watch it.TheIronRuler said:.Dr. wonderful said:I'm not the GM but I admit, your character sheet is pretty solid. I also think the blood thing is pretty neat.
It's familiar from a tv show/manga from Japan, same powers. Lets see what's the bio is gonna look like.
I just noticed that one line could use some work. "In great heat" can have interesting implications. And of course dry humid is probably a typo as well.Almighty Words said:Weaknesses:
Liquids - While both Solids and gasses are both safe for Emily to pass through liquids are another story, the slow shifting and moving of the liquid fills in the spaces her molecules have been displaced from rendering her quasi-solid and forcing her to deliberately force the parts of her that aren't an original part of her body out lest she begins to simply flow into the liquid and lose her form. Water, acid, honey almost any viscous material will disrupt her powers and make phasing less effective or outright deadly depending on the amount of the substance. As such it is very dangerous for her to attempt to use her abilities when she is in great heat as her bodily fluids boil and become more active within her dampening her ability even in dry humid conditions.
How new are you to RPing? You show traits that display at least some experience, and (in some cases) experience can always help you in the long run. As for your character: It's unique, at the best. After seeing about 5 separate guys (i'm exaggerating...I hope) that can use electricity (my character included), it's cool to see someone do different. Variety is the spice of life, and that saying is still in effect here. It could be my phone (what i'm typing from at the moment), but your sentence structure is a bit wonky, seeing as you have line breaks just at random times in your sentences. And i'm guessing your character doesn't have a proper costume?Spoon498 said:Stuff 'bout criticism.
thanks manShadowstar38 said:it works like this.InfinityCubed said:Also, I don't know how to do the collapsing thing for the character sheet, sorry![]()
[spoiler ] All the stuff you typed[/ spoiler]
But DONT put spaces where you see in put spaces.
Alright, this is pretty cool. I really don't see anything wrong with it.Safe in the Dark said:Name: EXGR-Combative Unit-001
Alias: Alpha
Gender: Designed towards being male.
Age: Appears to be around nineteen years old.
Appearance: Alpha appears as a humanoid android with short, jet black hair and dark red eyes. As he was remade with combat in mind, his body is mostly mechanical, although he retains a human-esque figure with a face. He stands at about six feet, and his legs, instead of ending in feet, appear as more of a prong like shape. His body has a somewhat Black and white color scheme with some red bits to it.
Personality: Being a combat android, Alpha is somewhat cold, logical, and stiffly machine-like in his mannerisms, something he can't help. He shows a large amount of curiosity towards human responses and behaviours though, often questioning and analysing things he observes. He was programmed with an emotion based drive within him, but it was simply in the prototype stages when integrated. Dr. Geppe, has however hoped that a breakthrough can be made via extended periods of human interaction. Once he shows enough emotional drive, or at least an unmechanized understanding of morality, his programming will alter itself so that he may make his own choices.
Alignment: Hero
Superpowers: Alpha is outfitted with a variety of internal weapons. Power wise, he is simply incredibly agile, resilient, and strong. His wrists contain ammunition and slots for additional weapons to be outfitted, such as small grenade launchers, or portable mini-guns but within his hands also lie a potent weapon, his fingers can slide open at the very ends and each finger can work like an automatic weapon. He is capable of flight thanks to thrusters in his legs and he has enhanced robot sensors for sight and sound. His left arm is also outfitted with a retractable blade. In dire situations he can activate Exceed mode, and gains bonuses to his agility and strength, but this will burn up his energy in a matter of minutes, and will leave him vulnerable.
Weaknesses: Runs off an internal energy source that recharges over time. Since this powers not only himself, but his weapons, running out of power shifts him into reserve energy until he can restore his power. In reserve mode he can't use any of his advanced systems or weapons and must simply rely on his strength and agility. He also, unless his programming states otherwise cannot harm innocent people in almost any given circumstance. Take a hostage and he won't risk harming them unless he is sure he can save them in the process of taking out the target.
Biography: Dr. Geppe was always interested in machines, since he was young. He would marvel at all the inventions and breakthroughs people had made, and this interest never seemed to taper off. He spent a large portion of his live studying both the mechanical and the motorized. He truly did have a love for machines. Soon enough, he met the woman who shared his interest, Mary Stein, and the two of them fell deeply in love with each other. They married five months after they had met.
Dr. Geppe and his wife were inseparable, but this would not last. When his wife was to give birth to their child, tragedy struck. Due to a complication both mother and child had faded from his life. This didn't sit well with the inventor. He grow bitter and cynical. His life, even his machines had lost all of their meaning. After living several years by selling his once prized possessions, an idea came to the man's mind.
If fate were so keen on taking his family from him, then the good Doctor would simply have to go against fate. It had been nineteen years since the accident and with that in mind he set about crafting a son who wouldn't die due to any mere, human complication. After several more years of tireless work, at long last, the man's greatest. and most resolute invention would be complete.
Dr. Geppe raised this new son, teaching him everything he knew. Since this was a new beginning, for the both of them, he named the android Alpha. Things would've went fine, but an over zealous Warmonger had his men abduct the two of them and forced the Doctor to outfit his child with weapons and combat systems. the good Doctor obeyed stalwartly, but when Alpha, or the EXGR-Combative Unit was ready for fighting, the Doctor turned it on his Captors in an attempt to free the both of them. Dr. Geppe was killed in the process, along with every single member of the private militia.
Now, as Alpha stood alone, in a vast world he didn't completely comprehend he decided to do what he thought his father would approve of. Using his advanced systems and weapons, the android set about stopping criminals and helping innocents. Despite his lack of emotions, he desired something, and that was to make his father proud and create a world his Creator would be proud of. Now Alpha seeks the employment of Seraphim so that he may aid them in their efforts.
.CJ1145 said:So I guess if we're doing inter-player critiques, I'd like to forward mind for the crushing scrutiny of others. It's a second draft, because I lost the first to internet shenanigans, and I feel like the rewrite dropped in quality, so I'd like to see any nitpicks or suggestions.
Reading back I now I see that if I stuck to what I typed she would be a horn dog in less than opportune situations. Need to fix that asap, and thanks for pointing out "dry humid".Captainguy42 said:I just noticed that one line could use some work. "In great heat" can have interesting implications. And of course dry humid is probably a typo as well.Almighty Words said:Snip - My own junk[/b]
Overall it seems to be a solid character. I think wander-lust and phasing could turn out to be a very good combination.
Some things to consider:
- Lethal extent of phasing, you mentioned she can only phase he entire body. Does this mean she cannot say, phase someone's skull out of their head to kill them?
- Can she extend her phasing power to other people?
- How long can she phase for? Shadow Cat from X-men for instance can only phase as long as she can hold her breath.
- How does she move while she is phasing? Can she fly/float? Does she follow her previous momentum? Does gravity still affect her?
.PlastikBulb said:Would be nice to get any feedback on my own as well, if willing. I haven't seriously roleplayed for a year or so, so yeah, criticism welcome, please.
It's just up above, post 122 there, cheers.TheIronRuler said:.PlastikBulb said:Would be nice to get any feedback on my own as well, if willing. I haven't seriously roleplayed for a year or so, so yeah, criticism welcome, please.
Link it to me and I'll look over it, if you want to.