Out of place, out of luck, out of mind... wait isn't that a song? Okay this is more personal.

[Parasondox]

Hello again Escapist from a rainy, wet London. So nothing new there.

Where do I begin? I feel out of place. Just low and confused about people in life. Great friends are hard to come by, I get it, but I don't get why it's so hard when I help people but then get completely screwed over. Life is tough, I have learnt that since I was a wee pup with my extreme life experience and events, but why do I feel that certain people are so ungrateful when you help them.

Backstory: A "friend" was looking for a clinic to go too so I offered to help and they accepted. I found the place and waited for them while they were with a nurse. 15 mins later they came out but was upset and angry about something. They told me a certain ex may have given them a bad dangerous "present". I tried to support them and be a good friend. They wanted to kill that ex and I understand the anger and then I took them to the station and went my way. They didn't want my help further on. Half an hour later I got a message from said "friend" about how their boyfriend, who apparently became their boyfriend as of 11am today, is going too, and I quote "Fuck me up". So I asked "why is that when I helped you this whole time and took time out of my busy day to help you?" this was around 4-5pm and childishly I got no reply to that question, just the next message was "He is going to fuck you up when he sees you init".

First of all I am not scared of a threat cause I live in the rough part of east London where people get angry just for looking at you so it's nothing new to me. I'm most offended but an empty threat and the ungratefulness of a person I thought was a "friend" and I went to help out and put first. I have mentioned before in another thread that I was going through some personal situations but this right here just the final straw that broke the camels back. "I can't be bothered anymore", that's the point in my 22 year life where I just feel that way. I don't feel like I belong here, I love London but that isn't the problem. I am at the point now where I don't feel much of anything anymore. Yeah I can be happy at times but deep down I feel fed up of being let down, of trusting the wrong people and act as if I am a victim of the world. Religion never really helped me cause it never answered the questions I needed and apparently I was asking too much questions. Sorry I'm inquisitive and can't accept answers from a book that doesn't relate to me. I know I don't fit in but I've accepted that but just still hard to contempt why others treat people so badly when they are trying to do good.

I am not perfect and would never describe myself as that in a million years. I have done wrong and openly admit they were my fault and take responsibility for them, so I am not saying I am high and mighty. Just want to know, why do bad things sometimes happen to those who help others and what advice, if any, do you have for me with this situation. Yes I am being open here but not too open too reveal names and very deep personal issue. Also to add to the thread has their ever been times where you have felt out of place or just totally confused about what is going on in your life? You don't have to go deep into because I respect privacy. I'm 22 and now trying to find my independence in certain part of late.

Thank you for reading and I appreciate it a lot and for those who share any points or views, thank you also

Off/On Topic: Funny how the Captcha for this post is "Enter the following, Respect Me" LMAO

 

[windlenot]

First off, I'm going to openly say that I don't know what I could do to help you feel any better. I understand your situation enough to know just how much it sucks, but I am in no position of help, well, anything aside from reading it and posting my thoughts on the matter.

I'm in a position in my life where, similarly, a bit low and confused. Now, I wouldn't put myself exactly on your scale, but being a 19 year old college sophomore, I'm mostly just finding it difficult to stay generally positive. I'd say part of me is glad for the fortune I've acquired (not in wealth but in opportunity) and the other half is too upset to relish in it. It's certainly difficult to find the best in situations like this and continue to be a good person with the way you were treated, but the ideal is that you continue to do good for the sake of doing good. Now, that might be outlandish to people, but that's really all one can do. Well, it's either do that and keep trying or get terribly upset about it and sulk. Now I've done the latter and will probably continue to do the latter because I can't quite snap out of it, but... Well... It certainly doesn't fix matters, that's for sure.

/rant

 

[Doopliss64]

Something really depressing happened to you. It's perfectly normal to feel down in this kind of situation, but it's also important to remember that this will pass. Or, at least, the strong emotional reaction you're currently having will. It's difficult to believe in the heat of the moment, but all that betrayal and hopelessness you're feeling is just a standard psychological reaction to a disturbing event. And while you may be unhappy with the state of your life, it is NEVER a good idea to view your overall situation through the frame of a single distressing situation.

I have been struggling with depression over the past 2-ish years, and when I moved to college two months ago things really came to a head. Like, really serious mental/existential anguish. I started to think that my entire life wasn't worth it, etc. But then I got used to it, and the homesickness and culture shock passed, and I realized that I wasn't feeling this angst because I was depressed, I was feeling it because I was suffering from homesickness and culture shock. I'm still depressed, but it's gotten significantly better. I'm not going to lie to you: there is no magic cure for depression. However, trying to reconsider your entire life situation while still reeling from an emotional shock is guaranteed to vastly skew your perspective.

 

[JustinDP]

I think rather than allowing yourself to get depressed over the event you described, you should instead take it as a sign that perhaps this friend isn't worth your time. Unfortunately you can't really trust everybody, even those who claim to be your friend. Hell, sometimes you can't exactly trust family members either. So, it can be best to simply devote valuable time to those whom have earned it.

As far as curing depression goes? You don't really just wake up and get better. Going to speak to somebody about it can be helpful, but be wary of them simply throwing anti-depressants at you. They won't really "fix" anything. Truth is, sometimes you just need the right event to take place to put your mind at ease, and it can't be forced. For me, it was when I met the woman I ended up getting married to earlier this year. She was in the right place, at the right time. Even with her I still have little twinges of depression, because I'm not really certain what I'm meant to do in life aside from simply looking after her. Everybody has a fear of the unknown, I suspect. Or at the very least a dislike of the unknown, and uncertainty.

I think everybody feels out of place from time to time. Few are willing to admit it. So, you shouldn't have to feel alone in these thoughts, because you're not.

Unrelated note, but the captcha of "party on, garth!" is hilariously inappropriate for this topic.