Pandas: Let them die.

[Loop Stricken]

Pandas. We know what they are, and we know there's not many of them left.
But did you know that the God of Evolution basically wants them gone? It's true!

Pandas. Firstly, take their looks; black and white, supposedly to camouflage in with snowy mountains with deep shadows.
So they live in bamboo forests.

Their diet is 99% bamboo. Pandas can't digest bamboo properly. They're clearly idiots. Wikipedia tells me they've been living in bamboo forests for millions of years, and haven't evolved the guts to properly digest the food they life off've.
Idiots.

Breeding.
They only tend to have one cub at a time, and they're hard to protect. Probably because the mother is constantly eating useless bamboo to not die, and the father buggers off. If they have more than one cub, one will be left to die because the mother can't produce enough milk. Because of the bamboo diet probably.
I thought there was something about how their genitals are ridiculous and face backwards or something but it's almost 6am and Wikipedia doesn't have that.

---

So the way I see it we have two options.
One, let them die because they're useless animals, or my favoured suggestion:

Crossbreed them with cats.

Yes.

Spoiler: Panda cats

 

[Tartarga]

But without panda's, what animal will we teach kung fu to?

 

[Bags159]

But without panda's, what animal will we teach kung fu to?

And along that vein of thought, whom would bring pandamonium?

 

[Noremac60]

I agree with op.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16054_6-endangered-species-that-arent-endangered-enough_p2.html

See #1 on the list.

 

[Smiles]

Awwwww but they awe soooo cuuuuuuute! and cudly wudly fluffy big ol huggin teddies.

 

[dyre]

Pandas are adorable, and the Chinese government wants them around, so why not keep them alive?

 

[Loop Stricken]

Incidentally; yes, this was just an excuse to post that video.
But now I've decided I actually do dislike pandas. Lucky me!

 

[Heartcafe]

I agree with OP as well.
If these pandas were giant grass eating spiders and weren't so cute, then people wouldn't be struggling to keep them alive.
(Not that I'm saying we should murder them or anything!)
It's obvious that these creatures are not going to last long in the wild or even in captivity (where all of them are.)
But we shouldn't crossbreed cats with pandas. We should crossbreed cats with POPTARTS.

NYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYAN-gets shot-

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

If a species cannot live on it's own due to no fault of humans, I feel no sympathy for it. Sorry. Learn 2 live noob.

EDIT

I agree with op.

http://www.cracked.com/article_16054_6-endangered-species-that-arent-endangered-enough_p2.html

See #1 on the list.

Love this part

Pandas might be doing it themselves (by not doing it themselves), but as long as they have the "awww big teddy weddy bear!" appeal people are going to keep them around. But we know the secret that will truly encourage their extinction: they're carnivores. The cute color scheme blinds people to the fact that it's still a couple hundred pounds of goddamned bear.


Bamboo is their depression comfort food since they've become too slow and fat to hunt anything but firmly rooted plants, but they'll still eat any small animals they get their paws on. We have a plan to stop all the panda-pandering. We can't get into it now, but it involves a zoo, a basket of puppies and a YouTube account.

 

[HydraMoon]

Did that panda cat just do the cabbage patch?

I can't believe I watched the whole thing- there wasn't anything uh...subliminal.. in there right?

 

[Klopy]

Yeah. Pandas are so... stupid.

They should eat meat. But I think they don't have taste buds that enjoy meat or something. Bamboo tastes better for them. Its like a human eating bark that was sprinkled in powdered sugar. Tastes better but it doesn't do anything for you.

Plus they sometimes don't even wanna mate with another Panda. What's wrong here...

They would have died off without our help long ago.

Even if there wasn't any human interaction, a large group of them would have eaten all of the bamboo in their area and therefore died.

Yeesh. Best part is that they have nothing to offer us other than 'something pretty to look at'. Cows for meat and milk. Ox and Horses for beasts of burden. Pandas to be a pain in the ass.

 

[Twilight.falls]

I pretty much agree with the Cracked article. Pandas are being protected purely because of society's wish to keep as many species alive as possible.

An admirable cause, but it's clear that the pandas are not even trying to curb their impending extinction. At least other endangered species will mate.

 

[Erana]

But without panda's, what animal will we teach kung fu to?

You know, that movie plot involved a panda genocide, right?

Also,

Spoiler: I wouldn't count pandas out just yet.

A panda warrior riding a warrior panda.
[HEADING=1]PANDACEPTION[/HEADING]

Really, though, we broke evolution a loooong time ago; we kill things way too fast for animals to adapt to the hazards. Like the indiscriminate bird murderer that are glass skyscrapers.
So yeah, we're humans, we broke nature, so the fate of pandas is pretty much our choice.

 

[FuktLogik]

Totally. More eucalyptus for the rest of us. Amiright?

 

[marfin_]

soo if this thing has been around for a while, doesn't this kinda slap evolution in the face?

 

[Polyintrinsic]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSOwEfuhIpY this is all u need

 

[orangeapples]

We only care because they are cute. We've let a lot of species die off because they're not very eye appealing.

 

[Soulgaunt]

Hmm, good point. Pandas are pretty damn useless, aren't they...
Also, that video is now forever stuck in my mind. Thank you!

 

[loc978]

I suppose that morally I'm worse than any previous poster in this thread, because... I simply don't care. If someone wants to spend resources to keep the damn things alive, that's fine by me. If they decide to let 'em die, that's also fine by me.

But without panda's, what animal will we teach kung fu to?

Black bears, like ol' Kumo here: