Parent's reaction to video games

[ShotgunZombie]

My parents see it as a glorified toy, they don't think it's necessarily a bad thing but they do believe that any kind of extended gaming is bad they also believe that adults shouldn't waste their time with games. Needless to say we don't see eye to eye but we get along, most of the time.

 

[Dastardly]

How do people in your life treat games? I am honestly feeling like I'm never going to hear the end of all this nonsense.

Oddly enough, it makes a lot of sense (in their minds). The smarter, more educated, and more independent a person is (or believes themselves to be), the more inclined they are to believe there is a clear reason for everything.

When there is something as unfathomable as a school shooting, the reason isn't as clear. And we often don't want to hear about "reasons," because we think that means we're letting them excuse the shooting. So, the educated, rational person who believes they are nigh-impossible to fool or surprise? He decides that the nearest potential factor that he's not intimately familiar with is the cause.

Yep. Smarter and more educated people are very often more likely to react that way, and to do so more strongly.

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

It depends...

My step-father plays games and my mother doesn't mind them at all, but any family over 50 treats it like it's the devil incarnate!

I left the Dead Island trailer on my IPod once while I went to the bathroom and my grandmother was watching it when I came back... It was hilarious, but it didn't help my argument of how video games aren't bad...

But screw that! Watching her watch that was the highlight of my day!

/rant/

 

[Yomandude]

>My entire family is atheists
Deh... dude... with all due respect, that is schmuck-baiting if ever I saw it.
OT: Welp, opiners gonna opine, man. You can't convince everyone you know to appreciate video games as an artistic medium. Artistic beliefs are just as hard to push upon people as religious or political ones. The only thing that keeps me from Columbining my similarly view-pointed household is the repeated mantra of "3 more years until college, 3 more years until college..."

 

[Shadie777]

My dad is actually interested in video games and sometimes likes to watch me playing but he can't get into it. He sees them as a brilliant graphical experience but does not game because he doesn't want to play a game that has a lot of buttons. Limbo was the last game my dad found really interesting since it had easy contols and a mysterious atmosphere to it.

My mum is not interested in games and is neutral about it.
The only time she actually played a game was when she played Link's Crossbow Training on the Wii, she really enjoyed playing that game( which is something I respect the console for achieving).

 

[marfin_]

you can't really pin it on one news organization. I see the same crap on fox as I do CNN or NBC. Use common sense and don't take anyone's word for it just because it was on the news! Just do your research.

 

[Seives-Sliver]

My parents were encouraging about me playing videogames, as long as my grades stayed good in school, and I did what they told me to do, I was fine. When controversy rose up about them, they didn't care, and they were really surprised when I would go on long-winded rants about the benefits of videogaming, I think they were actually proud to see I was doing something other than mellow about.

 

[tomservo4prezident]

My parents have never cared. They don't play (though my dad was a PC gamer in the early-to-mid 90s and has expressed interest in a few things I've played), but they don't particularly care about what I'm playing since they know I know the difference between reality and fantasy.


Though it was awkward having my dad walk in while I was playing MadWorld. At that moment, I knew that keeping the announcers turned off was the best for everyone involved.

 

[Blatherscythe]

Well considering that my dad was the one who got me into videogames by allowing me to play Diablo 2 when I was 7 and that my mom isn't an idiot I'd say they don't see anything wrong with videogames compared to any other form of media. They really only care about it if it truly is senseless violence (like GTA couldn't play that until I was 14 and had proved I could handle it), or becomes an obsession.

 

[Kanlic]

snip

That was oddly specific. On a more serious note, I was in that situation for most of my childhood too. I was teased incessantly for being obese limiting me to one friend, and got my ass beat everyday when I got off the bus. My only outlet was going home and watching an hour of DBZ before hopping on the N64 to play some Paper Mario. When I slendered down by high school, I was skinny which meant people were allowed to accept me.

My reaction: Fuck that and fuck you.

I had the right to be bitter about their treatment towards me and it made me angry how shallow people were. I still have this fat kid mentality, but I don't care. I love my video games because I learn from them and they are a great outlet for emotion.

snip

Now I am not a person who really believes in luck. I have this feeling in my gut that how people respond to you and your level of success is just a matter of outlook and effort. This seems pretty detrimental to my self image, because it probably is. People tend to gravitate to a positive attitude, and if I am extrapolating from your message correctly, you seem like the kind of guy who doesn't hang your head. Johnny Impact and I however are the guys who don't seem to have that attitude, so on some level there is a social deterrent created.

Whether or not you realized it, you've surrounded yourself with people who respect you because you carry an attitude that respects them. Or am I being too presumptuous? Sorry for lumping you in with me Johnny.

The only people I know who are that narrow minded are family members. Once I moved out I met more sane, reasonable people. So don't give in and have hope. Your 18th birthday and your trip to a college far far away from your family will be upon you soon.

You have my condolences. My parents pointlessly complained about my hobby (said it would make me fail school. While I'm no genius I graduated high school on time with a GPA above 3.0) and made hollow threats to get rid of my games and consoles or just destroy them. They never enacted their threats so I say again, you have my sympathies for your broken games.

Oy vey this just depresses me more. I just finished my freshman year of college and have faced more vitriol about video games this past year than all of high school combined, well at least in terms of my peers.

I HAD a gaming addiction two years ago. I got over it with professional help.

My parents still think I have it. They constantly insult me thinking it won't hurt my self esteem.

Everytime somebody dies and games are blamed, they send me a link through email and print it hundreds of times.

I do other activities. I can't play 10 minutes without being called an addict.

So they are not fond of games at all.

You had a gaming addiction? Where you diagnosed? What where the justifications for the prognosis?

snip

Sounds pretty rough, but at least you have a friend you can talk about games with. Its always a difficult task to describe an interactive experience to someone who can't possibly imagine what it might be like, but I feel like I am getting there. I guess the best we can do is not project this kind of image to our next generation when they find their new habit. Unless of course it has to deal with some kind of Logan's Run situation.

 

[scorptatious]

My parents don't mind video games so long as I play in moderation.

My mom claimed to have acquired the high score on a Space Invaders arcade machine. My dad used to play with my older sister on the NES before I was born. Not so much anymore. Although if I offered him to play with me, he probably would.

 

[ManOwaRrior]

snip

I'd like to include tabletop games in that. When I was about sixteen I came home with a rulebook for Vampire. I'd had it for a couple days, for a campaign a friend would be running. My mother seized the book, pronouncing it "sick, sick, sick" except she said it maybe twenty-seven times. I was immediately banned from playing. The book belonged to my friend; I was almost unable to give it back to him.

Parents, I'd like to lay out a hypothetical scenario for you:

Let's suppose your kid is at the top of all his academic classes, and is so well-behaved it makes you wonder if maybe you're doing the job of parenting a little too well.

Let's suppose, however, your kid is ALSO last chosen in gym class, gets picked on daily by a gang of a dozen mean-spirited little pricks, is laughed at by guys and girls alike (even some of the faculty), has maybe two friends in the whole world, and only has them for friends because no one else wanted them. Let's suppose he takes no joy in anything, has absolutely zero outlet for pain and stress. He's the guy who will not be asked to sign a single yearbook. Make any argument you like about how high school is nothing compared to real life, that's still a pretty miserable state to be in.

Now let's suppose he sees something, for the first time, which might be that outlet. For just a few hours a week, he can pretend to be someone else. He looks at the vampire -- stuck being one age forever, constantly feeling evil urges he sometimes can't control, unable to love or be loved, the whole angsty package -- and sees a marvelous kinship. He already has video games. They haven't ruined him. He likes them. But here, at last, is something he could love, a way to get out of himself for a short time. He can sit with some like-minded people, who might join his tiny circle of friends, and roll dice for a few hours. Exploring someone else's much larger problems will make his own seem less severe. He can have his outlet, he might even be better for it, and no one will get hurt.

Now let's suppose you snatch it away and tell him he's sick for wanting to do it.

Tell me: How have you helped him?

Parents, I'm being serious here. I really want to know how that helps.

Now i'm not a parent, but i can tell you the answer to this non the less:
The parents in question might think that he should rather work on solving his problems, then to run from them and hide inside some fantasy world, which will only cement his status as an ousider.
Parents want their children to be liked by other people. Believe it or not, most parents actually do care for their children. They don't want them to become isolated. Even if the child in question allreaddy is isolated, they want to keep it from isolating itself even more.

The thoughts go like this:
My child lacks self confidence, is bad in sports and is thus picked upon often.
Due to this, he has a hard time making friends.
Now he wants to play this strange Vampire thing which nobody I know plays.
If i let him do it, things will only get worse. I don't know this game, i don't understand it, it's wierd, it won't make him more popular in the gym nor on the scoolyard.
I want my child do the things other kids do, so he no longer is an outsider.

There you go, that's why parents do this. It's not because they are evil.
They really do think they are helping their child. If they forbid everything except for all the "normal" stuff, surely he will eventually start doing some of the "normal" stuff.

Now this could all be wrong. Maybe the kid does make some friends playing this game. Maybe this will help him build up confidence in himself. But do the parents know? No, they don't. All they know is the cliché of the fat, glasses wearing, smelly nerd and they don't want their kids to be like that.

 

[lokiduck]

My parents are both okay with them though my mom didn't want me seeing violence till I was older. She even played computer games when i was really little.

Facts are with the media it's really hard to prove the argument. Every psycho with a gun is of course going to cause problems.

It's kind of like how no matter how you try to prove that if people and kids just learned proper gun safety and how to handle one properly there would be less accidences. Because if you try they just point at the statistics of those that have been hurt.

It also doesn't help that in my General Psychology class we heard a video about how kids with suggestiable and certain mental conditions will become more violent from games...

All the parents in the class were like "because of this we should remove all violent videogames from any child just in case."

My response was: A game doesn't make you violent, just because you are shooting up fictional people doesn't mean you learn instantly how to shoot a gun."

Personally it is a parent's right what their kids see and play, so banning all games is rreally just a stupid idea... convincing your parents though is hard.

 

[runeplay2]

Well, if your Dad thinks that video games are corruption, then ask him what you should watch.
TV? PAH! Jerry Springer with his incestual hillbillies, politics, the like. (And if your parents do not approve of swearing, comedy central, Cartoon Network after 9.

Read? I can tell you now that the number of "kid friendly books" are far outnumbered by books about sex, violence, etc...

Go out and walk? You could get grabbed by crazy people!

 

[Cain_Zeros]

But video games are stupid... (and if they are feeling clever) You just sit there and stare at a screen.

When they say this you should point out that the same thing happens when they watch TV, and at least you're interacting with your entertainment and engaging your brain a bit more. They'll either see your point or get really pissed off (which might mean they saw your point and didn't want to admit it).

As for me, when I was younger my mom would sometimes wish I didn't play so much, and she tended to enforce ratings, but other than that she's let me do my own thing.

 

[thiosk]

Generic knee jerk reactions against things they don't understand.

MARK MY WORDS

When your kid gets those brain implants in 2045, you are going to FREAK THE HELL OUT.

IMPLANTS? NO SON OF MINE USES IMPLANTS! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? TO YOUR BRAIN?

what the fuck dad, 'plants is where its at man. like everyone has one. i know like everything on Baidu now.

WHAT? NO SON OF MINE USES BAIDU! YOU USED CHINESE IMPLANTS? NOT EVEN GOOGLE IMPLANTS?

Yeah dad what the fuck dude, what are you some kind of capitalist dog or something? Google is for Neonucks. Neonucks and quants. Heh.

And thats when dad rips the implant out of Jr's brain with his teeth.

 

[darksuccubus]

snip

Sounds pretty rough, but at least you have a friend you can talk about games with. Its always a difficult task to describe an interactive experience to someone who can't possibly imagine what it might be like, but I feel like I am getting there. I guess the best we can do is not project this kind of image to our next generation when they find their new habit. Unless of course it has to deal with some kind of Logan's Run situation.

Good luck to you, mate) Hope you find people who can share your love of video games ^^

 

[Raggedstar]

My parents honestly don't care, though then again I didn't play a lot of objectionable games around them. Though they were ok with me playing games like Mortal Kombat and Street fighter at a young age. My dad also played a fair amount of the old Wolfenstein, Duke Nukem, Doom, Quake, and Unreal (AND let me watch) without any objection. My mom just kinda...went with it. Never liked games but never stood in their way. She would even defend media (games included) shouldn't be to blame for crimes.

My aunt and uncle are more or less the same. Uncle playd the same games and let me watch (though these days he plays more Starcraft than anything shooty-shooty though frequently went to LAN parties back in the day with his buds), and my aunt doesn't really care. Never saw I had any addiction (to be fair, I haven't touched my PS2 or 3 in over 2 weeks) and trusted that I don't get stupid with my spending. She still thinks games are stupid and my uncle is oddly intrigued sometimes when I'm playing (his impression of Kingdom Hearts was quite impressive seeing as it was the first JRPG he saw LOL) and almost bought be Black Ops because apparenty Ratchet and Clank gameplay = COD gamepay (thought that counts). Uncle also confused Sonic and Ratchet, but...uhh...oh well.

Though once my aunt saw me playing Assassin's Creed and she went all horrified going "Oh my. You're KILLING people in that game?". Even if I go saying that the world is immersive and the history (even if it's hit and miss) was interesting and the people I was killing were bad people and Templars out to conquer the world. She basically said "uh huh, but you're killing people". It never got much more serious than that, but I'm rather irked by how hardly anyone under the age of 35 in my family sees video games on a level above "noise machines". The ones that don't wave the "Games cause all problems" flag still dismiss all cleverness, positive experiences, good writing, depth, symbolism, or thought. I was saying how excited I was for The Last Guardian and said how good SOTC and Ico were and all I got was an upraised eyebrow. Actually, the same could be said about my love of metal music. Most people in my family don't really give a damn though a few are still stuck in the whole "Satan worshipper" rut whenever I wear my Nightwish shirts.

EDIT: I shouldn't need to say this, but 100% of my friends are cool with gaming and we often have friendly debates and sessions of "squee". I can't say that everyone are into the same kind of games or even see them in the same way, but it's better than nothing.

 

[BGH122]

After the Columbine massacre, my dad went to my room and smashed my N64 copies of Small Soldiers: Sarge's Army and GoldenEye in front of me. The good doctor turned around to see my 7 year old hunk of flesh starring in fear, and his only response was, "Get this poison out of my house." Just to clarify, this is a family of atheists.

Wow... Your father is a doctor but he doesn't understand the basics of correlation versus causation? I feel very sorry for his patients. It sounds like your father is batshit insane (as little offense as possible intended). Displaying that level of violence is, frankly, borderline child abuse.

Most of the people I know are actually fine with videogames and guffaw at the media's laughable depiction of videogames. But, then again, most the people I know work in IT or the games industry, so I mightn't be all that representative.

But video games are stupid... (and if they are feeling clever) You just sit there and stare at a screen.

I always laugh when I hear that argument from people who watch television.

Well, if your Dad thinks that video games are corruption, then ask him what you should watch.
TV? PAH! Jerry Springer with his incestual hillbillies, politics, the like. (And if your parents do not approve of swearing, comedy central, Cartoon Network after 9.

Read? I can tell you now that the number of "kid friendly books" are far outnumbered by books about sex, violence, etc...

Go out and walk? You could get grabbed by crazy people!

Agreed, welcome to The Escapist.

Generic knee jerk reactions against things they don't understand.

Whilst true, the thinking man ought to seek to override such base impulses and get to know more about a subject before commenting. Even if he does comment in ignorance, he ought to be willing to concede defeat when presented with evidence his theory can't explain.

Sadly, even amongst scientists, this practice is rarely followed.

 

[mikespoff]

Any effort made to make my dad and people in general understand why video games aren't some corruptible tool on today's youngsters fall on deaf ears because in the end the response I get is.

But video games are stupid... (and if they are feeling clever) You just sit there and stare at a screen.

Just curious - does your dad watch movies? 'Cos that must be even more stupid: for the whole of Schindler's List or Shawshank Redemption, you just sit there and stare at the screen.

Books are stupid, too: you just sit there and stare at the pages.

To get to the heart of your question, it's hard to communicate the interactive nature of games to someone who hasn't played them, or at least watched someone else play them. It's like trying to describe the immersive potential of literature to someone who can't read.

My parents don't really understand games, but they have come to terms with my gaming. Of course, it helps that I'm in my 30s and have been buying my own hardware and software for 15 years now...