pedophilia: double standard

[knight steel]

Dear escapist lets have a serious discussion about the double standards involving pedophilia.We in our day and age have very interesting views on pedophilia which i will try my best to describe.

If a 14 year boy willing has sexual relations with a very attractive 34 year old teacher some of us would find that ok saying stuff like "that lucky bastard" and would opt for no real punishment on the women behalf.

Now take that same situation and reverse the genders a 14 year old girl willing agrees to have sex relations with a very attractive 34 year old male teacher. Most people would say "that scum lock him up for life".

Why is that my dear escapist? Their both the same age and both fully agree knowing full well what would happen? They weren't forced they both consented but the male teacher receives more blame.And what does the attractiveness have to do with the situation? If the Female was ugly why would our view change .

So the questions i would like to ask are this: Do you agree with this double standard why/why not, What punishment would you give the teachers if any?

Edit: I'm talking about the double standard of most of the public not the law.......

 

[Miumaru]

Well, it is worse for the girl in all ways, assuming the boy/Woman was just vaginal. Not saying the double standard isnt wrong, but it doesnt physically hurt a boy to have sex with an adult woman.

 

[geldonyetich]

If a 13 year boy willing has sexual relations with a very attractive 26 year old teacher most of us would find that ok saying stuff like "that lucky bastard" and would opt for no real punishment on the women behalf.

Well, here's your problem right there: false premise.

In fact, it was pretty big news not too long ago when a 32-year-old woman picked up a relationship with a 16-year-old-boy [http://www.xboxist.com/xbox-360/news/32-year-old-woman-pleads-guilty-to-xbox-live-video-sex-010621.php].

She was tried and convicted with 10 years of prison and is now a registered sex offender.

If that was what happened with a 16-year-old, don't think they'd go any easier on adult women going after on 13-year-old.

 

[crudus]

Uhh, no. I do not hold that to be a double standard. Both scenarios make my skin crawl. Thirteens-year-olds do not have the knowledge or experience to make a decision like that. I have no idea what punishment I would choose but it would be the same for both.

If a 13 year boy willing has sexual relations with a very attractive 26 year old teacher most of us would find that ok saying stuff like "that lucky bastard" and would opt for no real punishment on the women behalf.

Well, here's your problem right there: false premise. In fact, it was pretty big news not too long ago when a 32-year-old woman picked up a relationship with a 16-year-old-boy [http://www.xboxist.com/xbox-360/news/32-year-old-woman-pleads-guilty-to-xbox-live-video-sex-010621.php]. She was tried and convicted with 10 years of prison and is now a registered sex offender.

Depending on the state that would be completely legal.

 

[Dags90]

Well, here's your problem right there: false premise. In fact, it was pretty big news not too long ago when a 32-year-old woman picked up a relationship with a 16-year-old-boy [http://www.xboxist.com/xbox-360/news/32-year-old-woman-pleads-guilty-to-xbox-live-video-sex-010621.php].

I believe the OP was talking with regards to social outrage rather than equality under the law. Likely considering public reaction to cases like Debby LaFave and Mary K. Laterneau. I actually never heard about that story.

 

[Sougo]

Don't worry. I stand equally against BOTH of those scenarios.

 

[unoleian]

If a 13 year boy willing has sexual relations with a very attractive 26 year old teacher most of us would find that ok saying stuff like "that lucky bastard" and would opt for no real punishment on the women behalf.

Well, here's your problem right there: false premise. In fact, it was pretty big news not too long ago when a 32-year-old woman picked up a relationship with a 16-year-old-boy [http://www.xboxist.com/xbox-360/news/32-year-old-woman-pleads-guilty-to-xbox-live-video-sex-010621.php]. She was tried and convicted with 10 years of prison and is now a registered sex offender.

On the flip-side, I know a 16 year-old girl who married a 26 year-old man. It required a bit of legal hoop jumping and affidavits of consent from her parents, but they did it. There is an age of mutual consent that isn't 18, apparently, as long as certain stipulations and agreements can be upheld.

 

[geldonyetich]

I believe the OP was talking with regards to social outrage rather than equality under the law.

There's not a whole lot of difference, as the former eventually leads to the other. Contrary to what your immediate circle of friends might be telling you, we're not okay with it. If we were really okay with it, there wouldn't be those laws, there would be a successful movement to have those laws repealed, or else those laws just wouldn't get enforced.

 

[Peteron]

I do not believe that those scenarios can be treated diffrently from each other. Really all it is is sexism. All seriousness aside though, that is one lucky 13 year old boy.

 

[MasterChief892039]

I personally would not think it was okay for an underage boy to have sex with an adult woman. For example, it really creeps me out when I see 40+ year old women screaming on the red carpet when Taylor Lautner from Twilight walks by, and I find the TV show "Cougartown" with Courtney Cox to be incredibly trashy and distasteful.

If there is a double standard though, I believe it comes from the fact that an underage girl can get pregnant while a boy, obviously, cannot. That's not to say that an older woman wouldn't be taking advantage of an underage boy, just that people are more likely to jump to an emotional reaction in old-man-young-girl pedophilia than in old-woman-young-boy pedophilia.

Not to mention that man-on-girl pedophilia happens much more often, so we're more aware of and emotionally sensitive to it.

Now your probably wondering whats my view,it simple if both people agree and know the consequences and are both above the age of 13 then no what the gender there should be no punishment. Now it's your turn.

I highly disagree with this. I'm 18, meaning my 13th year was only 5 years ago, and I remember it well. I know for a fact that, despite all our sex education in school, neither I nor my friends has the mental maturity to deal with sex in our lives. There is no 13-year-old alive that is psychologically ready for sex. Not to mention that some people don't even reach puberty until 14 or 15, a 13 year old is still a child.

Anyone above the age of 18 still interested in 13-year-olds is sick. Even 18 is pushing it in my opinion.

 

[Elephant Walker19]

to me both the teacher and the kid need a big slap in the back of the head.

 

[Irridium]

I'd say it has to do with the general perception that "women are fragile" and that sort of thing. Its something thats basically ingrained on the psyche of modern society. If both parties are willing participants, then it should be fine. However we fail to factor in the fact that perhaps the students were tricked. In which case its a form of manipulation. Plus we have puberty to factor in, which while in puberty people do and say things they wouldn't otherwise, possibly making it easier to trick them or talk them into sex.

Its all very complicated, and I don't see things changing. But usually it doesn't matter if its young boy/old girl or the other way around, both times usually result in sex offender status for the adult. Its the public who feels the young guy is lucky. I agree its a double standard and completely stupid. However its like this way most likely because of the "women are fragile" thinking ingrained in our psyche, and thanks to media and all sorts of other things, it solidifies this type of thinking into the public, whether its true or not.

It sucks, but its what the public thinks, and I doubt it'll change soon.

Its all very, very disappointing.

 

[JoeThree]

South Park did it.

 

[Asturiel]

I am disappointed with the lack of tacos in this thread.

OT: It really comes from the idea of our male dominated society, it's a fantasy of the young men aspiring up the latter of maturity, you know, wanting to boink anything that moves and all, and it sticks with people as they become adults. Where men are supposed to hunt for their prize (sex) getting an older woman is harder and thus doesn't get much social ire. But a man who can get better going for a younger woman is him just capitalizing and thus seen as him being weak and pathetic.

Thats just my thinking though.

 

[lacktheknack]

I say that until the age of consent, sex partners must be maximum two years apart, both genders.

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

A 13 year old is in no way capable of making a decision about sexual relations of any sort. The influences surrounding adolescents, especially in the presence of an older person, are far too strong at that age to think that simple consent is proper grounds for sexual behavior.

The double standard stems from the nature of the human sexual act. Anatomically speaking, men are the aggressors. Women are the recipients, so to speak. In this sense, it seems less an act of abuse when older women have sex with adolescent males.

Oddly enough, I think a 14-15 year old guy having sex with an older woman is less objectionable than that same guy having sex with a girl his own age.

 

[Kpt._Rob]

From a legal standpoint you're wrong. There have been cases like that, and they're always convicted, regardless of the genders. That said, you are right that amongst the general populace that attitude is sometimes voiced, and the truth is that personally speaking I do feel as if the male teacher has commited more of a crime than the female teacher, so let me explain.

Now, the reason that we do not allow pedofelia (whereas we do tolerate other non-traditional sexual practices) is that in the case of pedofelia one party, the child, is judged to be lacking in the judgement necessary to decide if they should have sex or not. In the cases of both the young boy and girl this is true, but the risks for the girl are actually greater.

Both risk having STD's as a result of sex, though the girl is probably at a higher risk than the boy. Also, while the young boy is not capable of becoming pregnant, the girl does have that risk. Finally, and I hope I'm not being too vulgar here by saying this, but size wise, in the case of the female teacher it's a small object being fitted into a large hole, while in the case of the male teacher it's a large object being fitted into a small hole. Even more than that, our society actually does have double standards regarding the roles that people of various genders play in sex. A man who has lots of sexual partners is a "player," but a woman who has lots of sexual partners is a "slut" (please note here that I'm not condoning the fact that this is the way it is, I'm just stating that this is the way our society tends to judge things). Needless to say, even socially a young girl having sex with an older man will suffer, whereas the young boy having sex probably gains socially for the experience.

 

[BlackKraken]

People can be ridiculous about it though, i'm 21 and recently went out with an 18 year old, and one of our mutual.. "acquaintances" was shocked and said it was too much of an age gap.

Really? 3 years??