People disgust me sometimes

[garjian]

You know, if you want to off yourself, fine, do it. I may find it personally disgusting, but its your life. Where I begin to take offense is when the sappy memorial bullshit comes in and everyone starts talking about how much they loved that person. That shit just seems so disengenuine and disgusting for a number of reasons which would probably be best left unsaid.People can pick up on that shit, the hypocrisy, the sappy sweet melodrama, and they react to it. Quite negatively.

Not that I condone the actions of trolls but honestly, this was something that kind of called for it.

This is pretty much my opinion.

Apparently everyone is sweet and lovely and caring and intelligent and friendly and the best possible human being on the planet that has existed or will ever exist when they die.
The words lose all meaning.

 

[HardkorSB]

You know, if you want to off yourself, fine, do it. I may find it personally disgusting, but its your life. Where I begin to take offense is when the sappy memorial bullshit comes in and everyone starts talking about how much they loved that person. That shit just seems so disengenuine and disgusting for a number of reasons which would probably be best left unsaid.People can pick up on that shit, the hypocrisy, the sappy sweet melodrama, and they react to it. Quite negatively.

Not that I condone the actions of trolls but honestly, this was something that kind of called for it.

Also, I always find it funny how the "loving friends and family" never seem to notice that something is wrong. Assuming that it wasn't just spontaneous act out of nowhere (and most likely, it wasn't), if you love someone, you'll know when something is wrong. If you don't then you don't really know the person and if you do and ignore the signs or dismiss them as "bad mood" or "silly behavior" then you have no right to complain that someone criticizes you for suddenly "loving and caring" about that person.

When I was 11 or 12 (can't quite remember the year, it was so long ago), My sister got together with this guy. His parents just abandoned him when he was a little kid, his grandma was taking care of him (but she was kind of a ***** about it). Needless to say, he was (to put it lightly) a troubled individual, hanging out with the "wrong" crowd, doing the "wrong" things etc. He was so happy that he managed to find a person who loved him. I remember my family (not all of it but a significant part) kept looking down on him and talk shit behind his back, often in my sister's presence.
Things got worse when she got pregnant. Then they really began to shit talk, about him as well as about her.
A few months later, everyone was STUNNED to find out that he hanged himself. They simply couldn't figure out why. After all, he was such a nice young boy with a bright future and loving people around him.
Back then, I was on my family's side because they kept feeding me this crap so much but when I look back on it, they were really despicable people.
Some of them died within the last few years and somehow I just couldn't shed a single tear at their funerals, even though they were an important part of my childhood.

That example might have been a little extreme but you get the idea (and if you don't then I'm sorry to say this but FUCK YOU!!!).

 

[nukethetuna]

I see memorials for suicide as stupid because what they did was the ultimate act of selfishness. (and I say that as someone who has a failed attempt in my past)

You also can do nothing for the person now, any support you could have given them was in the past.

The other thing that annoys me about public mourning (no matter what the cause of death) is people who didn't give the person the time of day when they were alive, or who didn't even really know the person, are suddenly acting as if they were the person's dearest friend. It's so fake and self serving. Just look at the people crying over Job's death, utter nonsense.

On the bright side, it's the last selfish act they'll ever do!

Valid points. I agree that a good chunk of people who feel the need to make their voice heard about a "beloved" deceased person are just interested in their own image, or worse, attention for themselves. It's all the more annoying, because the people who may actually have had a valid connection or may legitimately feel the loss are drowned out by the melodrama.

 

[MysticToast]

I see memorials for suicide as stupid because what they did was the ultimate act of selfishness. (and I say that as someone who has a failed attempt in my past)

You also can do nothing for the person now, any support you could have given them was in the past.

The other thing that annoys me about public mourning (no matter what the cause of death) is people who didn't give the person the time of day when they were alive, or who didn't even really know the person, are suddenly acting as if they were the person's dearest friend. It's so fake and self serving. Just look at the people crying over Job's death, utter nonsense.

I agree with this guy. This was what I was trying to say earlier when some gentleman wanted me to be banned for it. Suicide is selfish.

And as for your last point, it's very similar to what happened when Michael Jackson died. Suddenly, he was this awesome person and everyone wanted to show how sad they were that he died, regardless of what they thought of him while he was alive. These memorials are the same way

 

[Codeman90]

Gotta love anonymity and being able to communicate from long distances. It really does make all the difference. I think there would be far fewer people trolling a funeral in front of the deceased's family. Still absolutley disgusting.

 

[Codeman90]

I see memorials for suicide as stupid because what they did was the ultimate act of selfishness. (and I say that as someone who has a failed attempt in my past)

You also can do nothing for the person now, any support you could have given them was in the past.

The other thing that annoys me about public mourning (no matter what the cause of death) is people who didn't give the person the time of day when they were alive, or who didn't even really know the person, are suddenly acting as if they were the person's dearest friend. It's so fake and self serving. Just look at the people crying over Job's death, utter nonsense.

I agree with this guy. This was what I was trying to say earlier when some gentleman wanted me to be banned for it. Suicide is selfish.

And as for your last point, it's very similar to what happened when Michael Jackson died. Suddenly, he was this awesome person and everyone wanted to show how sad they were that he died, regardless of what they thought of him while he was alive. These memorials are the same way

As selfish as suicide may be I think the real issue is the fact that people can ridicule the dead, and not give a shit. Sure it might be hypocritical to suddenly act like you geniunely knew the person and this loss hurts you just as much as it hurts actual friends and family. HOWEVER. There is a HUGE difference between ridicule and ignoring. If you don't care, then just leave em be. Why in the world would you go out of your way to ridicule the dead without even knowing them at all.

 

[Baby Tea]

I was just pointing out that I think those pages are better off not existing or being restricted to actual friends and family.

The point of the pages isn't to celebrate the fact that they committed suicide, it's a memorial to the life they did have, and a support center for the family of the victim. And yes, they are a victim.

For someone who claims to have attempted suicide in the past, I find your candor to be very cavalier and black and white regarding the nature of the act itself. You think that you, who suffered from some degree of depression or anxiety so very strong that you saw no other options but to end your life, would have a higher understanding, even (Dare I say) sympathy for those who weren't as strong to carry on, or were actually successful.

While I don't disagree that suicide is an ultimately selfish act, it's also a desperate one.
It's a final solution to a problem that most of us would recognize has many solutions.

And while people who didn't give the person the time of day in life might mourn in their death, isn't that a risk we ALL take? How many people have we met who had closed loved ones pass away, and they all said 'I wish I spent more time with them'? I said the same thing about my grandfather, and I loved him dearly.

The lack of empathy in this thread is either a mask of internet tough-guy syndrome, pseudo apathy (Because it's cool to not give a shit), or just plain and simple social dysfunction. And that last one isn't one to wear like a badge of honour. It's sad.

The people who trolled this person's memorial, or anyone else's, should be ashamed.
Their insecurity and social inabilities aren't an excuse to further worsen an already tragic situation.

 

[Baby Tea]

I have a strong enough understanding that I ended up spending 6 weeks in the hospital as a result. And I have enough sanity now to recognize suicide for what it is. Heck, even while you attack what I said you go on to agree with me that it is selfish. If we stopped making people out to be victims and saying nice things about them and instead pointed that selfishness out then it might help people check their progress towards suicide.

You can't honestly believe that to be true.
Think back to when YOU were depressed to the point of trying to take your own life. Do you honestly think that someone saying 'You're really really selfish for thinking about suicide' would have stopped you from trying?

People like that need support and counselling, of course they do. But not a heavy-handed 'You're selfish' remark. That won't do anything. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that others seeing how devastated people are at the loss of their loved ones would be more moving to them in terms of having them rethink their actions. Letting them see that they aren't just hurting themselves, but those around them as well.

You yourself just said 'I have the sanity NOW', meaning you didn't have it before. And I'd be willing to bet that a heavy handed 'snap out of it, you selfish jerk' response wouldn't have went over well with you during that time. And had you succeeded, I'm MORE then willing to bet such a response to your loved ones wouldn't have gone over well either.

My thinking suicide is selfish doesn't change my response to those who need help from that type of thinking, or my response to those who weren't strong enough to resist it, or who didn't think they were worth it to seek help.

Finally I didn't suggest (or didn't mean to, at least) that you agreed with the trollers.
At that point I was addressing the thread in it's entirety, and the general lack of empathy.

 

[Hitokiri_Gensai]

people universally suck. Im sorry that they did that, its a shame they ruined something like that.