People should seriously take a competence test before playing Left 4 Dead.

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Faeanor

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Dec 15, 2007
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I'm sure other people have said it but I'll say it anyways. This was a game made to play with your friends. It's best when you do so. You know what kind of people are online, so you're rolling the dice every time you play with random people.
 

maddawg IAJI

I prefer the term "Zomguard"
Feb 12, 2009
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i agree. i hate players who do not understand the purpose of the game.

whats worse is that i cant ever join a random lobby becuase theres always one little kid in it that screams whenever a hunter pounces him. "come on guys theres an pipe bomb in this ahhhhhhhhh" he died since we were on expert and guess who was compent enought to stay alive. well it wasent me it was actually my brother who then had to fight a tank by himself.
 

defcon 1

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Jan 3, 2008
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How can you be incompetent in a game like L4D. It's hard to believe you can screw up like that. One thing I wish you would put down is not to mess with the Witch. That's the biggest problem I see.
 

bmf185

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Jan 8, 2009
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I've stopped playing it online and now have way more fun offline with my actual friends. People aren't jackasses when they have identities and aren't twelve.
 

Hunde Des Krieg

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Sep 30, 2008
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jdnoth said:
This is why you should buy the PC version of co-op games. Console users are such tards.
I'm Not and niether is anyone else in my friends list.
Judas- said:
For a team focused co-op game, you'd be much better off jamming with your buddies on XBL. People you know. I wouldn't leave my fun to chance.
That^
 

TenthRegeneration

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Feb 11, 2009
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Dude, Left 4 Dead IS the competence test. All those who fail at it will be tripped while running away from the zombie horde come Z-day.

Furthermore, it's just a game, some people aren't going to be (a)used to the playing style (b) be bad at games or (c) just not care. Sure, it makes for a sucky game for you, an (I'm assuming) expert left 4 dead player while playing the game online, but that's just the way it is.
 

Cliff_m85

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Feb 6, 2009
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But in real life you would kill a team mate and let the zombies feast on the fallen so you get away safely. I suggest everyone play it exactly as they would if they were actually in the wake of a zombie apocolypse.....zompocolypse.
 

Moonmover

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Feb 12, 2009
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Wow.

I have never played Left 4 Dead, but I've played plenty of other online cooperative games, and I feel your pain brother!

Ah well, just be glad it's not an MMORPG with a loot system, or your teammates would be saying "Give me ur sword!" "Dupe' ur armr 4 me plz!"
TheMatt said:
I agree with everything you said except for the tea bagging.

I'm sry, but it amuses me.

like a lot.
Okay, but teabagging is supposed to be an asserstion of your dominance over the person you just defeated, from my perspective. Teabagging one of you own teammates is just stupid.
 

[Gavo]

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Jun 29, 2008
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jdnoth said:
This is why you should buy the PC version of co-op games. Console users are such tards.
Exactly. My friend has the 360 version because his PC isn't too good, and he complains about assholes on L4D all the time. I rarely have those problems. Yay for PC gaming!
 

Glerken

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Dec 18, 2008
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No Chicago Ted? Ya, Chicago Ted's my hero. No zombies are safe from Chicago Ted!
Chicago Ted, he could definitely have a religion started with him as the god, or at least a television show...
 

Corven

Forever Gonzo
Sep 10, 2008
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The annoying players are the ones who can't stand losing a round and spend the next match when you revive killing you and the other teammates.

I also hate the ones that refuse to play a game if no one has a headset, guess what valve was smart enough to include music cues to when special infected show up and when team mates are in troubled, they also included the ability to point out important items so players without a mic aren't a burden to the team.
 

DaxStrife

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Nov 29, 2007
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Agreement with a lot of what the original poster said, and I think part one of any L4D competence test would be playing the single player first. That's not too much to ask, right?

I've had a couple bad experiences that match some of the advice here.

1) A 12-year-old wigging out because he thought "someone stole my medkit!" The kid wouldn't shut up about it for three minutes, then turned paranoid: he started yelling, "Was it you?!" at me and shot me repeatedly with the auto-shotgun. We could not vote him out fast enough, and he was feigning ignorance the whole time; "What? What'd I do?"

2) We make it past the lift in the Death Toll campaign and I'm down to the below-zero health status (30 dashed lines and dropping) after being roped by a Smoker who dangled me right in front of a Witch we managed to dodge. So I'm limping to the ammo/supply room, where we get lucky and there's a couple medkits. I don't make it so fast because I'm doing the dying limp, and another guy who's at 60 health grabs the last medkit and uses it... right as I'm watching. Thinking "Karma be damned," I emptied a clip into him to make him pay and I pass away as the group watches.
 

SquirrelPants

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Dec 22, 2008
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God, I hate playing L4D on anything but single player, because everyone thinks I'm that 11 year old bastard and all that. I play on PC, but my keyboard's all buggy and my computer can't handle the game sometimes, so it makes me seem like that guy that no one wants to see around. It sucks even more when I'm bugging out whilst a 10-year-old is using his powers of faggotry on the rest of the team.
 

MiloP

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Jan 23, 2009
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Gormourn said:
I fully agree with the OP.

But in general, shouldn't people take a competence test before playing most online games? I mean really >_<
People should generally take a competence test for LIFE. And then maybe they'll get an Xbox.

And I'll admit that the Hunter pouncing a constircted person is a judgement call. But hey, if there's ONE survivor left and a Smoker has got him, then getting your kill stolen by a Hunter is just as annoying as anyone getting their kill stolen in any game.
 

RhinoTuna

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Nov 17, 2008
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You got it on Xbox, what did you expect would happen? I own it on PC and the only problem i've ever had is a few versus games where as the survivors my team tries to rush it too fast and you get split up.
 

MiloP

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Jan 23, 2009
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RhinoTuna said:
You got it on Xbox, what did you expect would happen? I own it on PC and the only problem i've ever had is a few versus games where as the survivors my team tries to rush it too fast and you get split up.
My PC is OLLLDDDD. Its steam-powered. But not Steam-powered.
 

MissShortosity

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Dec 11, 2008
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MiloP said:
Right, there are some, shall we say, idiotic scumbags within the populous of Xbox LIVE. And Left 4 Dead is a game where being an idiotic scumbag will definitely hamper your own and your teams chances of reaching that next safe room. So, for those idiotic scumbags with Gamertags like 'im awesome 808' or 'i pwn noobs roflsauce', then this rant is for you.

Firstly, if you are killed by a tank, don't be a baby and leave. C'mon, its a TANK! Have you seen the size of it? If you come face to face with it you're in for a beating anyway and even if you do die you'd probably get rescued in the next closet/saferoom. Leaving the game replaces you with an NPC. And that hurts.

Second, don't kick someone the second they've gone idle. I'm sorry if my bathroom breaks aren't EXACTLY synced with yours, but sometimes I'm willing to lose a medi-kit for the sake of not pissing myself. It can honestly be said that you can muddle through for a minute or so with an NPC, yes?

Thirdly, THE GAME IS ONE OF TEAMWORK. So if someone has been pounced/constricted/downed/fallen off edge, help them up! Don't leave them behind saying 'its their fault they got down' 'cause it seriously doesn't matter. You don't know HOW it happened, for all you know he got mobbed to high hell by 80 zombies, so never shrug off a down as 'they got what they deserved'

Fourth, ITS NOT A RACE. Sprinting from safe room to safe room will not end well. You split from the team, so you get pounced. The three people that have stayed together will be handicapped. Ergo, you will die, and no-one will care. And don't even think of complaining AFTER you've sprinted ahead and died. We would've helped you, good sir, BUT YOU RAN THREE MILES AHEAD.

Next, when playing as the zombies, its not whether YOU kill, its whether the SURVIVORS die. So, if someone as a hunter has pounced someone and there's a Boomer around waiting for his vomit to recharge, don't scream at him if he comes over to lend a claw. The Survivor is dying faster isn't he? Maybe it'll take you 2 seconds longer to get Dead Wreckening but you might just win the game. BUT -- don't pounce someone who's been constricted. that's just bad form.

DON'T ABUSE THE GLITCHES. I KNOW, if you molotov someone in the lift at No Mercy, they disappear through the floor and die. YES, you can block that very same lift as the zombies using the fork lift truck. Great. You are SO skillful, you can hit a STATIONARY OBJECT!

Lastly, just grow some brains. Some things which prove you have no brains are:

+++ Shooting someone in an attempt to get them to heal you/steal their health kit.
+++ Breaking from the group on purpose. NEVER. YOU WILL DIE.
+++ Hearing a horde at the start/end of a chapter, and locking yourself in a safehouse.
+++ Keeping a first aid kit at 80 health whilst your teammates limp around at 12.
+++ Shouting at someone for not keeping up when they are at 1 health.
+++ Teabagging of all kinds. ESPECIALLY teabagging a fellow survivor who has just been pounced and is in the act of being ripped to shreads. WTF?
+++ Running ahead and alerting the horde before everyone's ready.
+++ Taking a first-aid kit from a safe room, healing, and then taking another one.
+++ Shouting at someone who's FFed you with a shotgun. IT HAS A BLOODY WIDE SPREAD.
+++ Being younger than 11. One child in a game I was playing announced that he was captain of the world and that he could do anything, and proceeded to pick up all the molotovs and throw them, whilst we were all locked in the saferoom.
+++ NEVER SAY ANYTHING ABOUT CHICAGO TED.

So, if you were gonna buy Left 4 Dead as a 'LOLOLOLOL I KILLDED THE ZOMBAHS' game, then don't. You need half a brain to play it, so if you don't, then go distract yourself with a nice colouring book.
What? People play as a team on XBL?!?! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?! Add me as a friend so we can kill zombies effectively!
 

oecumenix

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Jun 18, 2008
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The biggest problem our team's having at the moment is the lack of any kind of matchmaking. Yeah, it's cool that you can find a server in no time at all, but I'd prefer it if you could, oh I don't know, match a team of 4 vs another team of 4, given that it's a fricking 4-player game.

Playing against four randoms (assuming you even get anyone to join your lobby) is pointless because:
a) randoms rarely play well together
b) you can almost guarantee half/all the team will quit by round three because they're getting owned (due to point a)

The other night we tried for over half an hour to find a server with another team on it, then gave up in frustration.