Phrases that are odd when taken literally.

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DarkJester

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Dec 17, 2009
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"One in the hand is worth two in the bush."

I'm guessing it refers to something you have having more worth or meaning than something you just want... but depending on who you are and what context, this could be quite dirty. And is definitely nonsensical when taken literally.

"Lie like a dog."

Really? Dogs lie alot? Are they good at it? Or in another sense: I don't really see many dogs just lying about randomly.

"Hard as hell."

This one I've heard, and said, quite often. But how do we know that Hell is indeed "Hard"? Perhaps it is soft, or easy, or even fluffy. From what I understand, according to religious folk, Hell is actually quite easy to get in to, plus... fire isn't what some would call "Dense".

"It's always darkest before the dawn."

No, it isn't. It's actually fairly bright. Most of the time; it's darkest on a moonless night, when the sun is at the definite opposite of your current geographical location.
 

RathWolf

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Apr 14, 2009
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DarkJester said:
"One in the hand is worth two in the bush."

I'm guessing it refers to something you have having more worth or meaning than something you just want... but depending on who you are and what context, this could be quite dirty. And is definitely nonsensical when taken literally.
Sorry, felt the need to clarify this. The phrase is "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush", and the idea is if you are holding a bird in the hand, you have your dinner. You can take that one bird, and be well fed. If you let it go to pursue two birds you?ve spied in a bush, you may catch neither, and wind up hungry for the night.

Of all phrases, that one makes quite a bit of sense literally.
 

Gabriel Xollan

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Jun 4, 2010
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"Alright, Shoot"

Used in reference to someone about to ask a question. You had better hope the question being asked isn't, can I shoot you?

"I feel all warm and fuzzy inside."

Seeing as the average body temp is 98 degrees I'd say it is pretty warm, but fuzzy? More like squishy haha!

"A whale of a tale."

A tale has whales now??? Aquaman would be proud.

"Can't get you off my mind."

Sorry bout that, confused your mind for a chair. Now that I'm standing up is that better?
 

Frog_Girl

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Jun 12, 2009
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my mom always used to say "her mouth is going like a bell clapper on a ducks ass" would that really make a noise mom? and who the hell would put that on a ducks ass? my dad used to say he was gonna "stomp a mud hole in someones ass and walk it dry" that is physically impossible on so many levels
 

Doctor What

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Jul 29, 2008
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Je l'ai avertie'elle ne m'a pas ecoute alors maintenant je m'en bats les couilles.
-Translation: I warned her, she didn't listen to me, so now I'm washing my hands of it.
-LITERAL translation: I warned her, she didn't listen to me so now I'm flapping my balls of it.

Oh France.
 

Krion_Vark

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Mar 25, 2010
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The87Italians said:
It's raining cats and dogs; wouldn't there just be animal corpses all over the place? It'd cause quite the mess.
Where this originates it ACTUALLY makes sense. When people had Thatched roofs and it was pouring really hard animals like dogs and cats would climb into the thatching to escape the rain and would then fall into the house. Hence the term It is raining cats and dogs.
 

Pariah87

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Jul 9, 2009
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AugustFall said:
"I want him inside me."


Always thought that was weird out of context.
I've never heard that. When would people ever use that outside the context of the obvious?

"My arse" is one which has always amused me. "He won the lottery my arse!"
 

Extraintrovert

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Jul 28, 2010
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X as hell. Aside from "hot as hell" (which may not even be accurate as we have no way of measuring the temperature of hell) anything that compares something to hell makes no sense.

Also "head in the clouds", which provides me with the delightful image of someone with an absurdly long neck.
 

2012 Wont Happen

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Aug 12, 2009
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Cheery Lunatic said:
"FUCK! ME!" when something bad happens.

Well, depends on who's listening. ;)
That one may depend on who's listening, but explain to me when this ever works out: fuck me sideways!

OT:

Probably the phrase "25 8" used to indicate how long someone works on something. I mean, I get it, but there are neither 25 hours in a day nor 8 days in a week.

Oh, and "cold as hell". To that I can only say: lolwut?

By all representation I've seen, hell is quite hot.
 

CitySquirrel

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Jun 1, 2010
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Krion_Vark said:
Where this originates it ACTUALLY makes sense. When people had Thatched roofs and it was pouring really hard animals like dogs and cats would climb into the thatching to escape the rain and would then fall into the house. Hence the term It is raining cats and dogs.
This (http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/raining%20cats%20and%20dogs.html) says otherwise. We can never be sure, but as they pointed out, "In order to believe this tale we would have to accept that dogs lived in thatched roofs, which, of course, they didn't. Even accepting that bizarre idea, for dogs to have slipped off when it rained they would have needed to be sitting on the outside of the thatch - hardly the place an animal would head for as shelter in bad weather."
 

Ultra_Caboose

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Aug 25, 2008
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My friend's girlfriend tends to say "fuck me sideways" when something bad happens. If I took her literally, I'd probably have a lot fewer teeth...

Anyway, "It was a piece of cake", "holy shit" and "this isn't my first rodeo" are a few odd ones that perplex me from time to time.